[Wednesday L.F.]

I don’t have kids but mentor a few young women and am unnerved at how little they know about birth control. As an American, things are less and less safe for women as predators are emboldened and women’s health services are being limited in some really gross ways. A young woman I know wants to be on birth control despite not really dating “just in case.” Her mom wants me to help talk her out of it but I honestly don’t see the harm.

Am I missing something? I hate that she’s frightened enough to think she needs BC, but I also wonder if she wants it to have sex and doesn’t want her mom to know. I can’t think of any reason to tell a young woman not to work with her doc to find the right BC.

[jns]

I have to agree with you about the young woman being on birth control. Young adults tend to be impulsive and some can be persuaded into doing things that they may later regret. I think that her request is logical. Also, it is best to find out what works before it is needed. Basic education: learn before having to apply the lessons in life or on the job.

[Wednesday L.F.]

It’s a chilling and sad reminder that even with the internet, proper sex Ed isn’t available to everyone that needs it.

[atskitty2]

What is the girl's age? Is she rather mature emotionally and mentally? Is she a child of trauma? Abuse? What are her attitudes toward her health and her body?
Yeah, lots of questions, but I think a lot of this is important when thinking about how to handle this with the best interest of the young lady, and also attempting to use a broad perspective and respecting Mom.
What are Mom's motivations?

So much to unpack, and in general, I think we should be empowering young women to begin making these choices for themselves. Unfortunately, we do a poor job of this in our culture. I think we can educate, support, and guide, without necessarily pushing anything onto them. I don't necessarily think fear is a reason to make a choice like that. If it's because she's intending to become sexually active, then she would be making a pro-active choice. If the fear, however, is coming from a heightened threat, then yeah, maybe that is reasonable.

Educate. Let her ask questions, talk it out and even offer to go to the doc with her if that would be something she needs, and her mother is ok with that. So hard with those boundaries and overstepping potential.

[Wednesday L.F.]

What is the girl's age? Is she rather mature emotionally and mentally? Is she a child of trauma? Abuse? What are her attitudes toward her health and her body?
Yeah, lots of questions, but I think a lot of this is important when thinking about how to handle this with the best interest of the young lady, and also attempting to use a broad perspective and respecting Mom.
What are Mom's motivations?

So much to unpack, and in general, I think we should be empowering young women to begin making these choices for themselves. Unfortunately, we do a poor job of this in our culture. I think we can educate, support, and guide, without necessarily pushing anything onto them. I don't necessarily think fear is a reason to make a choice like that. If it's because she's intending to become sexually active, then she would be making a pro-active choice. If the fear, however, is coming from a heightened threat, then yeah, maybe that is reasonable.

Educate. Let her ask questions, talk it out and even offer to go to the doc with her if that would be something she needs, and her mother is ok with that. So hard with those boundaries and overstepping potential.

I’ve been doing pretty much that. She’s 16 and seems appropriately mature and not impulsive. Her mom is typical backward “she’s too young” with no follow-up. It seems to be more about the mom not handling having a near-adult and wants to keep her infantilized.

[mlapsychology]

You’re not missing anything, you're actually spot on.

There’s absolutely no harm in a young woman wanting to be on birth control, even if she isn’t sexually active right now. Birth control is not just for preventing pregnancy. It can help regulate periods, reduce cramps, manage acne, and give peace of mind in a world where bodily autonomy isn’t guaranteed. Wanting to have options “just in case” isn’t a sign of recklessness, it’s a sign of awareness and responsibility.

It’s completely valid to wonder if she’s considering sex and doesn’t want to tell her mum. But that’s not a reason to stop her from accessing safe, doctor-monitored care. In fact, the more shame we attach to these decisions, the more we push young women into silence, secrecy, and sometimes unsafe situations.

Your role as a mentor is powerful. Supporting her in learning the facts and knowing her rights is one of the best things you can do. It’s not about encouraging sex, it’s about encouraging informed, autonomous choices.

If anything, it’s refreshing that she’s thinking ahead. She deserves to have agency over her body and her health. Helping her navigate that without fear or shame is exactly what trusted adults should be doing. You’re doing right by her.

[Wednesday L.F.]

Thanks. I sure hope so.

[emliewilson]

Nothing is missed in that thought. There is an element of caring and realism in a harsh landscape. Birth control is not about sex; it is about health, and peace of mind. If an adolescent would want to explore BC with a doctor, then backing her to somehow make informed safer choices would empower her, not hurt her.

[Wednesday L.F.]

Nothing is missed in that thought. There is an element of caring and realism in a harsh landscape. Birth control is not about sex; it is about health, and peace of mind. If an adolescent would want to explore BC with a doctor, then backing her to somehow make informed safer choices would empower her, not hurt her.

Exactly. Thanks for the affirmation.