[anonymouswhitefemale]

Actually, I meant after.

You start life without STD's. Once you have non-barrier protected sex, you get tested. Then you know you're clear for next time. Then, the only time you could have an STD is after non-barrier protected sex, and so on.

In that principle, if everyone got tested after 'unprotected' sex, and everyone has sex with people they trust, then - as long as the woman is comfortable with her hormones getting screwed by the pill - condoms are not necessary.

[silvertae]

Actually, I meant after.

You start life without STD's. Once you have non-barrier protected sex, you get tested. Then you know you're clear for next time. Then, the only time you could have an STD is after non-barrier protected sex, and so on.

In that principle, if everyone got tested after 'unprotected' sex, and everyone has sex with people they trust, then - as long as the woman is comfortable with her hormones getting screwed by the pill - condoms are not necessary.

Actually, no. You can still become infected even if you use condoms 100% of the time and 100% correctly.

From the CDC:
"Genital ulcer diseases include genital herpes, syphilis, and chancroid. These diseases are transmitted primarily through “skin-to-skin” contact from sores/ulcers or infected skin that looks normal. HPV infections are transmitted through contact with infected genital skin or mucosal surfaces/fluids. Genital ulcer diseases and HPV infection can occur in male or female genital areas that are, or are not, covered (protected by the condom)."

So, waiting to get tested until AFTER you've had unprotected sex is not a reliable way of ensuring you and your partner are disease-free. If you've had solely condom protected sex and so has your partner it would still be wise to get tested BEFORE ditching the condoms.

Of course this just may reinforce your point that "life is about taking risks" or whatever it was you said. But I think most people would prefer to reduce their risks of contracting a disease/infection as much as possible. The fact that YOU have never heard of dental dams doesn't mean that the rest of the population is equally uneducated and unconcerned about disease transmission. Some people take this issue very seriously and I have enormous respect for people who have the will and determination to insist on the safest sex possible at all times. For you to say you'd kick a girl out of bed because she wanted to use a condom on you for oral prior to you having a full STD checkup is, well, harsh to say the least. It would certainly be your prerogative to decline the oral altogether and say you'll wait til after the checkup if that would make her more comfortable. But otherwise you have to respect her decision to protect her health to the best of her ability. Staying STD-free is not a "trust" issue. I have a friend who trusted her partners and still got HPV, passed it on to her latest partner and has had to have painful procedures done on her cervix because of all this.

Basically my point is, to the OP, follow everyone else's advice to try all the condom brands and sizes out there. I've never personally known a guy who absolutely COULD NOT use any sort of condom. I dated a guy with sensitivity and erectile issues and we just switched to polyurethane, problem solved. Find a better fitting condom and put a drop of lube inside the tip of it to give him more stimulation. Or try the female condom.

[Phoebee]

I just wanted to add that before DH had his Vasectomy we used Avanti Condoms that are made of that material and we both thought they were excellent. I "think" its the same material used on the Female Condom which would be ok if it wasn't so expensive.

And the whole trust thing I think its a problem thats made personal that doesn't have to be about that. How many people have an STD and give it to other people without knowing they have it? Probably most I would guess.

DH used to room with two other guys and one had this gold fish bowel of like 300 condoms more as a joke then that he really needed that many but the good point is that none of our collected friends got sick or knocked up so there is some "logic" to playing it safe.