[Little]

I think that condoms ruin the sensation for the woman too ... but I think since most women are baptized in the church of "no glove, no love," they don't know that. I probably dislike using condoms more than the boyfriend does.
Sex without barrier method BC is like a fireworks show. Sex with a condom is like lighting up a sparkler.
Of course, that's not to persuade you to give up on the condoms. He should be respecting your wish to use barrier method birth control. You may find that condoms just don't cut it for the both of you. I know that some women just can't handle hormone birth control like the pill, but you could try that (though it doesn't protect against STDs.) There are other barrier options, too, like female condoms or diaphragms. I haven't used either of those, so I can't extoll their virtues or vice versa.

[babyinlove]

thanks for everyone for your advise, but my bf penis is uncircumcised.. i know it's uncomfortable for him but I have to make him using condom from now on.

[Phoebee]

Trust me if a guy has a choice between sex with a condom and no sex he is going to suddenly start to love condoms. For those of you that are willing to let babylove (maybe) get an STD, AIDS or knocked up so it feels nicer for her boyfriend? GRRRRR... Are you parents!? Would you tell your daughter this? I'm thinking but not typing some really nasty thoughts.

Oral sex without a condom is no better then intercourse without a condom other then the rate of infection being a little different. One suggestion for doing that. There is a brand called "durex" that sells a condom called "For her Pleasure" that doesn't taste like some weird chemical cleaner.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Hah, if a girl ever gets out a condom for a blowjob she's out of the door. Seriously. I mean it's not like I go humping every sheep in the field outside. And if that's the case, does that mean a man cannot give oral to a woman at all? I mean that I know of (dunno anything about diaphragms etc) there is no barrier that would go between tongue and clit, so good luck getting an orgasm girls.

Fact is, you probably shouldn't be having sex with people you don't trust. If you do trust them, and you aren't too braindead to remember to take a pill every day, then barrier methods are basically a form of punishment.

And if you're unlucky enough to be that 0.05% or whatever of b/c pill failures then don't be dumb, and notice it quickly and get an abortion, before the foetus is even anything remotely considerable as alive.

I mean, life is all about taking risks. Have you ever not looked both ways before you crossed a road because you hear no cars when you're in a hurry? Have you ever exceeded a speed limit? Have you ever climber something just for fun? Everything has an inherent risk, usually you can eliminate the risk by making it boring. Is it really worth doing that with sex too?

[Phoebee]

I think your taking my reply as an insult about how many people you sleep with. Or how easy it is to get you in bed? I am NOT... I agree with you that a person should be very choosy about who he or she sleeps with. Even if the world was perfect and there was no such thing as an STD when you have sex you "might" get pregnant. And lets agree on one point. That is some serious stuff no matter how you deal with it and you do NOT want to be the parent of a kid with someone whose only good trait is the ability they have in bed.

Please - don't get mad - but DO read this.

"A new CDC study estimates that one in four (26 percent) young women between the ages of 14 and 19 in the United States – or 3.2 million teenage girls – is infected with at least one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases (human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, herpes simplex virus, and trichomoniasis). The study, presented today at the 2008 National STD Prevention Conference, is the first to examine the combined national prevalence of common STDs among adolescent women in the United States, and provides the clearest picture to date of the overall STD burden in adolescent women."

So do the math. 1 in 4 women have an STD. How many young males have one? Lets assume its similar numbers. If your sexual partner has had unprotected sex with 4 people he has one. (If you go by the odds) If you have sex with a lad who has had unprotected sex with two people you have a coins flip chance that you will get some type of STD. This assumes your a virigin btw because everyone YOU have unprotected sex makes is possible that you will be the lucky one to give him the infection.

Safe sex is hot! There are Dental Dams that work just fine for a guy going down on a woman. Gloves etc are all nice and "smooth" and allow better penetration. *I think. This idea that sex must be like your living on some island? Its it worth getting Herpes? I don't think so.

From what we learned at our childs school the latest generation is going overboard with Oral sex because they don't have to worry about pregnancy and its making the STD rates skyrocket.

And if your significant other really would leave because you wanted to be safe from STDs? Is this the kind of self obsessed person you would really want to grow old with? I would say goodbye and DO NOT call so fast his tiny head would spin.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

No, I'm not offended, I just find it strange how you seem to see everyone as a carrier of STDs just waiting to infect you.

I don't care about statistics. If you trust your partner, which you should, and if you get checked for STDs after unprotected sex with a partner, which you should, then you shouldn't be in a situation where you have to ruin the whole experience with oral-condoms etc. But sure, if you want to have a gangbang with the football team one day, then condoms are a good idea.

If you're that paranoid, then it probably wouldn't be a great relationship anyway.

And safe sex (read, barrier method) is in no way hot. And seriously, if you get some girl back to your place, and ask her if she has her Dental Dam so you can give her oral, what exactly is her face going to look like?

[maz33]

And safe sex (read, barrier method) is in no way hot. And seriously, if you get some girl back to your place, and ask her if she has her Dental Dam so you can give her oral, what exactly is her face going to look like?

Hahahahahhaha. Sorry but that's funny

[Phoebee]

Look, I don't want to sound like your mom but "I'm" not the one seeing everyone as a carrier of STDs. Its the CDC that says one in four young women in the US has one. You may not "care" about statistics but that is what is waiting out there.

I've had plenty of sex both ways and doing it the safe way has n e v e r ruined it for me or my SO. What would ruin it would be worrying about getting knocked up or getting an STD. When your married and the commitment is long term yes. Of course this is much less of a worry. If your telling me that in the middle of passion you call a stop and say "I think its time for you to get checked at a clinic?" Does that really happen in real life now? If the CDC is right? Maybe it should but I really doubt it. The kind of trust your asking for would require some kind of crystal ball I think. And I hate to say it but trust when your young and dating is.... complicated. How many sexual partners does the average woman go through from age 17 to say 26? A few. Correct? How many of these other people are going to come to bed with medical statements saying they are clean? If they slept with ONE person before you that they were not sure about its 1 in 4. There is no need to "do" a football team.

I don't know how sex with condoms or dams can be "not hot" I've never heard of a guy that couldn't orgasm because he was wearing a condom. As to dental dams I can vouch that they work just fine.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

If your telling me that in the middle of passion you call a stop and say "I think its time for you to get checked at a clinic?" Does that really happen in real life now?

Probably for the first certain number of times one would use a condom (for penetrative sex). I don't like it, but I appreciate that this is the world we live in. However, once you've known someone for a little while, you know if you're going to be having lots of sex with them, it's worth a trip to the doctors. The fact that it was someone new who I liked would hopefully prevent condoms from ruining it all, until something else (ie, test and pill) had been sorted out. As for oral needing protection, you could drink a pint of HIV positive semen and not contract it, and the transmission rates of other things and their destructiveness is a lot lower than this 1/4 figure you keep bounding about.

I don't know how sex with condoms or dams can be "not hot" I've never heard of a guy that couldn't orgasm because he was wearing a condom. As to dental dams I can vouch that they work just fine.

You don't know? Have you had many discussions on the matter? Practically everyone I know/have talked to about it hates condoms, albeit men more than women. You are not aware of the 'complications' (read; lack of enjoyment) that condoms cause? I think sex should probably be more fun than masturbation, which is isn't with a condom.

As for dental dams? I think you must be one of the only women in the world to embrace their usage. I've never heard of them before. If latex turns you on, then that's great, but it's a turn off for many.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Anon
If you trust your partner, which you should, and if you get checked for STDs after unprotected sex with a partner, which you should, then you shouldn't be in a situation where you have to ruin the whole experience with oral-condoms etc.

Um think you mean "before"

But I agree, in that manner. We are assuming what, "one night stands", had them? trusted that woman? Didn't use one?

As the "trust was there" been there done that and so it should be in the real world...

Not one night stand per-say but new realtionship first time, getting to know the person, trust, months and months of knowing ie...

It's still stup1d...

But we do it.

I hate the things, the feel and as little said, the taste? After ahhh..

Bottom line is, in a relationship, know your partner and it's ok and never use the bloody things, but if you don't really know them play safe.

My opinion,

CW