[BeautifulGirl01]

We have been trying to conceive for about 3-4 months now, and since coming off the pill, I've had trouble tracking my menstrual cycle and when I'll be ovulating.

So for the last couple of months, I have spotting for 3-4 days before I get really intense period pain and then heavy flow for another week or so. So from when do I count from to know when I'll ovulate? From when I start spotting, or from when I start the period pains and heavy flow?? If anyone can shed any light on this, I'd really appreciate it, thank you

[Euphoric]

It may take a while for your hormones to level out, so to speak. Don't get discouraged. Some people stop using the pill and get pregnant almost immediately. Then there are others, like me, who tried for two years before it happened. As far as trying to calculate when you will ovulate, base it from the first day you actually start your period, not spotting. Good luck and be patient. Easier said than done sometimes.

[BeautifulGirl01]

It really is hard to be patient, but we are remaining positive :-)

Thanks for your help :-)

[Euphoric]

Just a side note. Don't allow trying to conceive make sex become a job in itself. It's really easy when you are hoping to conceive, and it takes a while, to allow it to become a chore rather than an intimate act. Keep us updated.

[BeautifulGirl01]

Yes, we've realised this can happen, and there was a time where I was getting really low and uptight about it - but now trying to relax a bit now and let nature take it's course!!

[BeautifulGirl01]

Euphoria, do you know of anything more we can do to maximise our chances of getting pregnant??

[Euphoric]

Obviously you already know to try during ovulation. If that doesn't work, (again, it may take some time) you can see your doctor about fertilty enhancement drugs, such as clomid. I think you need to allow yourself at least a year to think about drug intervention.

This is not something I normally share will people, but at one point I became really depressed over the lack of conceiving. I had witnessed females who became pregnant due to carelessness, females who became pregnant while trying to prevent it, and through rape. I wondered why, when I was a stable, with a good job, took care of myself healthwise, was having so much trouble. I allowed the negative thoughts to make me question my faith. Finally, I became pregnant and was elated, only to have a miscarriage. Two actually. But then, I became pregnant and now have two healthy boys.

The only reason I felt compelled to share that with you is because I know, up close and personal, how devastating it can be to try - only to be disappointed when I got my period. Relax and enjoy each other. Oh, and don't jump up and run to the bathroom immediately after sex. Allow those little spermies to swim for a while.

[jns]

I have read that the best days to have sex when trying for pregnancy is the day before ovulation and two days before ovulation. The next best two days are three days before ovulation and four days before ovulation. The next best is the day of ovulation. Other days are unlikely to produce a fertilized egg. Also, to make sure the sperm are mature, some people say have sex every second day. A possible day of ovulation is 14 days before the end of your cycle. The end of your cycle is the day before menstruation starts. So to cover all bases, you could try 20, 18, 16, 14 and 12 days before the end of your cycle. Another tip I've heard is to not clean up for 10 - 15 minutes, rather stay laying on your back (use a towel for any mess).