[Harm2345]

So I am going crazy with worry. I had unprotected sex 6/28 so approximately 10 days ago. Granted I hardly ever go all the way like that and I thought the man kind of knows what he’s doing. Anyways long story short we had anal and vaginal but I am more worried about the anal. So somehow he ejaculated and it was on my back and I cleaned up or thought I did and when I got home I found it on my underwear which I had been wearing at that point for at least an hour. I was puzzled how it got on my underwear and thought maybe their was some on me elsewhere that I didn’t see or somehow it fell on my underwear I don’t know. He’s seven years younger then me I don’t know if that makes a difference maybe he’s more fertile? But I thought my chances of getting pregnant are extremely small and I don’t want a child for various reasons. I am in my early 30s but don’t mentally feel that way and can barely take care of myself. So two day’s ago at work I thought I was getting my period and I was so happy it was dark in color and I put some toilet paper there and next time I went to bathroom their was nothing. Just a tiny bit of dried up blood the same I had seen last time. That was two days ago and I am super worried now. Could that have been implantation bleeding? I mean does anyone have any thoughts what else this could be? Could it have anything to do with having unprotected sex a day prior to that? I have had some cramping on and off in my lower stomach past couple days as well. I have never experienced bleeding like that besides at the end of my period. I mean I’m supposed to get my period right around now anyways so I wouldn’t have even been ovulating then right? I have read it takes about two weeks to get an accurate pregnancy test read. Does anyone have any thoughts? Thank you!

[Alison H.]

Hi Harmony,

Before I reply below, I’d like to point you in the direction of what might be a really helpful article on our site, 11 Reasons Why My Period Is Late — Even With A Negative Pregnancy Test, as it may help to put your mind at ease.

You can read that here: https://www.womens-health.com/11-rea...t-not-pregnant

It’s important to remember that our menstrual cycles can get out of whack pretty easily — especially around times of stress. (For instance, I was late and thought I was pregnant a month or two before my wedding… turns out, it was likely all the wedding stress/planning.)

Similarly, my oldest daughter had some out-of-the-blue changes to her cycle and went for about 4 months without it (and no sex). My point is that things can mess with a "reliable" menstrual cycle that have nothing to do with pregnancy.

Stress can absolutely affect your cycle. The more you worry, the more you stress; the more you stress, the more it has an effect on your body in ways you don’t realize.

That isn’t to say that pregnancy can’t occur without ejaculation (such as pre-cum during unprotected penetration) but you are right — the chances are pretty narrow. Similarly, even though you discovered some ejaculate on your underwear later on, it’s highly unlikely that any sperm would make their way up into your vaginal canal, through the cervix, and on into your uterus without catching a ride ON the ejaculate itself (as in, ejaculation occurring inside of you). That’s a pretty far trek.

That said, has anything else in your life changed recently that might be affecting your menstrual cycle? Life stress or major changes, medication, even your diet and eating habits. Exercise? Vitamins/supplements?

Sometimes, the “simplest” change or stress in our life can affect our cycle temporarily — and that very likely could be what’s going on here. There are some early testing pregnancy tests out there, although I’m not sure how reliable they actually are. But that may be something that can help to your mind at ease, as well.

[Harm2345]

Thanks very much for the reply. I will definitely look at the article. I haven’t had really any changes lately in my opinion that would cause my period to be late. I guess my biggest worry is that bleeding that I got randomly a couple days ago that was dark and looked dried up and then my period never came. I don’t know if I previously stated this but I don’t recall ever getting something like that other then maybe on birth control? Or at the end of a period. And these lower cramps every now and then. But thanks for reassuring me I took a pregnancy test yesterday but was probably too early I’ll take one in a couple days. Thank you.

[Wednesday L.F.]

Wow, that must be very scary.