[BirdieBlue91]

Hello,

I think this post belongs here and not in the sex forum but it borders both topics. I am completely unable to penetrate at all with anything and I am driven to tears and self hatred at this point. Ive never had sex because of it. Im ashamed to even begin getting physical with a man. Im 29 years old and in my mind I have a high labido. I have no problem at all with natural lubrication but i cannot get anything up my vagina.

i went to the gyno for this problem years ago. She went to do a pelvic exam and when she tried the forceps it felt like literally a hot steel poker being shoved up me. The pain is indescribable. She got so frustrated AT ME that she threw her towel down and said "i dont know what to do"

ive read on this a lot but i read that women have "trouble" with penetration. It is so impossible with me that it literally feels like theres not even an opening. I get as far in as the first joint on my finger and just hit a "wall"

ive tried relaxation, different positions, bullet vibrators, everything. I went to a PT for back problems and she said my core and buttocks was very weak and my abdominal and pelvic muscles were strangely weak and perpetually tense at the same time.

also it isnt infections because it is consistent.

im honestly afraid im deformed down there or something...the only thing i know is i have a retroverted uterus. I have other health issues but none that should contribute to this. All my periods are very normal.

Lastly, i grew up in a religious home and masturbation comes with a huge sense of guilt. I always feel like im a horrible disgusting person when im being sexual. I understand where that or sexual abuse is the main causes for this problem but i feel like even on times when i tell myself its ok and im not doing anything, i try to relax, etc still nothing works.

im so scared

[jns]

Welcome to Women's Health Interactive Forums. My suggestion is to please find a different gynecologist. Search for one that has a patient and gentle bedside manner. Don't give up because of one bad experience. I'm sure the right gynecologist could complete a pelvic exam and determine what is going on. I would think that there is some type of catheter that could be used in a case such as yours, that would contain a light and a digital camera.

[GSingh]

Hi,

This is a fairly common issue and surprisingly not understood by many doctors. It is called Vaginismus. Some more about it may be found here [link removed]
You will also find your pain being spoken and written about in the book called 'Vagina Problems' by Lara Parker. She is a exec. Editor at Buzzfeed and has this and other issues. I recommend you read it.

You are not alone in this. Find a different doctor and take the symptoms of vaginismus to them for their reading, knowledge and demand they pay the right attention to your issues.

[atskitty2]

Well, I'm very sorry you have had this type of experience with a health care provider. That's unprofessional and simply displays their lacking knowledge and experience with this type of thing. I encourage you to try to schedule with another provider and ask, when booking the appointment, if the provider has experience with things such as vaginismus, as mentioned above. Also ask if the provider has knowledge of and experience managing patients with anxiety related to their sexual function. If they cannot assure you when calling to schedule that the care-giver is experienced with this type of thing, then take your business elsewhere. It may take some effort to find a skilled, patient and knowledgeable professional, but they're out there.

Secondly, have you ever spoken with a counselor about your background and the guilt you experience with your sexuality? It sounds as though it could be a great help for you. Many times the things we grow up learning can really stick with us and cause us to build some walls and aversions to things. A good counselor can help you work through that, and help you build the skills to be comfortable and enjoy your body. Again, I would ask when scheduling if the counselor has experience managing clients through this, and I think you'll find that this isn't terribly uncommon.

All the best to you BirdieBlue91! I hope that you find some great professionals to help you work through this and allay your fears. Please check back with us and let us know how you're doing!

[Julia W.]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm sure it's frustrating. But like people are saying before, I find another gynecologist! Ugh, no doctor should ever make you feel shame or bad about your body, especially something you have no control over! It sounds like you have Vaginismus. I don't know a lot about it, but it's an issue that lots of women struggle with. I would do some research for a gynecologist near you who has experience with it and start there. At least they'll be understanding! Once you get to the root of why it's happening, you can start correcting it and be well on your way to better days

[Ronit Raj]

Make an appointment with your doctor if your vaginal pain is persistent or recurrent. They can assist in determining the origin of your vaginal pain. They'll probably ask you about your health history, perform a physical examination, and, if necessary, schedule one or more tests.