[JonnyR]

BTW: I just read something very interesting tonight to add to this discussion from a renowned therapist (Terry Real) who explained the phenomenon of whether you should stick it out for the kids or not, really eloquently:

- First: If you are in an unhealthy relationship with animosity, yelling/screaming (either by both partners or one), and stonewalling (by the other), there is consensus in the therapeutic sense that you should NOT stay together for the kids for obvious reasons.

- Second (And more difficult to decide) is if things are "ok," but there is no love, or it's a functional but not satisfying relationship, you'll pass that template on to your kids, who will inevitably re-enact it with their future partners (either as one parent or the other).

Outside of the first recommendation, the second is probably what at least the majority of the 50% of couples that do decide to stay married have to decide and contend with.

[Alison H.]

Oh definitely. I've known people who stayed married "for the kids" until said kids turned 18/reached adulthood, and it was the absolute worst decision they could have made. Like yes, divorce can be hard for kids to navigate, but in the end I think two happy homes are better than one broken one.

And that makes sense about the priorities, for sure.

[Birdie_567]

To me, there's a big difference between prioritizing your kids' needs and making your kids your entire emotional world. I've definitely seen situations where a parent leans on their child like they're a partner or best friend, and that seems like a lot for a kid to carry.

I don't have kids, so I can't speak from experience, but I do think it's healthy for parents to have strong adult relationships, interests, and support systems outside of their children. That doesn't mean the kids aren't deeply loved or cared for. It just means they aren't expected to fill every emotional role in a parent's life.

I guess the tricky part is that "prioritize" means different things to different people, which is probably why this topic gets so heated.