[meg40185]

I am a very happily married woman who had some disturbing dreams last night, and I'd love some insight! I dreamt that I had an affair with my friends husband. I woke up thinking, "WOW!" and then immediately chided myself. I feel like I've mentally cheated on my husband!

My husband and I are trying for baby #2 and we're having some problems. I started my first round of clomid this past cycle, and now we're trying to get lots of baby making sex in and praying for the best. This has been hard on both of us, and it seems like we're resorting to the "baby sex" and not the loving, emotional sex we used to have. I'm thinking that maybe I'm dreaming of my friends husband now because of something I feel I'm lacking in my own sex life with my husband, due to our baby making difficulties.

Either way, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I feel like I cheated on my husband. I know that obviously I didn't, but I still feel horrible! My main question is, should I fess up to my friend? We're really close and we can talk about absolutely anything, but I don't want to cause a problem. I feel like I should confess this to her, but then I'm not absolutely sure about that. Any insight on this?

I appreciate any help you ladies can give me! I've been fighting with this all morning and I'm at the end of my rope! Thanks so much!

[crzyredhead21]

Oh man.. id's be screwed if that was cheating! No, I think you're under a lot of stress right now what with trying as hard as you guys are to have Baby #2. I also would not tel your friend as this will only cause tension between you guys for something that was frankly just a dream. I think you and your husband may want to slow down and enjoy each other more before and during sex. It's hard when sex becomes kind of like a job. I think you might also find your body being more receptive to getting pregnant. (Not a medical fact but can't hurt anyway ) Don't worry about dreams. I have had those dreams before with peopel that I would never have sex with even i I was single. Then again, I really don't get very much sex anymore so that MIGHT have alittle bit to do with it! LOL
Bottom line, accept that this dream happened, and that it means nothing more than you need a little more intimacy. Otherwise you could end up hurtng a lot of people (friend, husband, friends husband) by telling them.

[Fire(m)]

#1 DO NOT TELL YOUR FRIEND!!!!
#2 Don't feel bad Meg. You do have some stress and it's VERY NATURAL for you to occasionally have a sex dream about someone other than your husband. If it makes you feel better (and maybe it does or doesn't)...your husband has probably had sex dreams about being with your friend before!
#3 Just to point out how insignificant these dreams are, you could very easily have a sex dream about someone of the same sex as you. It could even be someone you don't like!!!!!!! All it has to be is someone who enters your mind at that time.

Don't worry about this! It's completely natural and doesn't mean a single thing!
Cheers.

[meg40185]

Thanks for the advice! I've had sex dreams before, but way back before I was married. This one was so vivid that I woke up feeling like I'd done the deed without actually doing it. All day long I've been thinking that maybe I should tell my friend and get it off my chest, but I definitely see why I shouldn't. I don't want to cause any problems between us, and it's not like anything actually happened. I just felt really bad about it at first since I'm really close with her husband too, and I felt like I was keeping this big secret. You're right though...guaranteed my husband has the same kind of dreams about other people, so it's natural and it's not a problem. Thanks so much for making me feel better about this! Trying to have babies can make a woman go crazy sometimes!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I assume that you friend already has children and that you are close?

Dreams have meanings and not what you think they are.

You are dreaming of your friend and their success right? they have either a child or children?

You are dreaming of being like them...

You need to understand the interpertation of dreams, such as all these little kittens so cute, means for a single woman, lots of guys are "prying for her attention" but sexually.,..

Dreams show the end result of what you are after, when you see the other side, it is the beginning result.

If you said something you would be soooo wrong, unless you like him and have thought of him often which does not seem to be the case, hense my "opinion" white witch and all.

Lol...

True..

CW

[WildChild]

Red Head may not be too far off. It may not be a "fact" but it is generally understood that people who are trying too hard to have a baby won't and when they relax and slow down it happens. Stress and tension can do wierd things to your body and your responses.

As for feeling guilty, let go of it! Guilt is a manipulative tool used throughout our societies for generations to control people. You have done no harm, have no ill intension to do harm, are not acting for selfish gain or to deprive others. All you did is have a dream, perfectly normal, chances are you have them often without remembering them. CW is right that dreams reflect things that are in our minds, fears, hopes, stresses, desires, in sleep the mind plays with possiblities. Sometimes dreams alert us to things we aren't noticing consciously and are important. Other times they are more like house cleaning - your mind pulls together random stuff in odd ways. Even if you secretly had a raging passion for your neighbor, you don't have to act on it. You are still in control. No cause to add to your stress with this.

Can you and hubby plan a weekend away? Or create a no expectations weekend at home and just relax and enjoy each other's company? That might do you more good. You've turned sex into a goal driven chore instead of a loving joining. Relax, you can't force this to happen but often if you let go of expectations and give it to the uninverse, trusting that what is right for you will happen, things will flow for you.

[miffed23]

No need to tell your friend, you havent done anything wrong in the slightest. Judging on how bad you feel about it, strongly suggests that you are a kindhearted lady and wouldnt even consider about hurting your friend or cheating on your husband. So, dont panic... i would only be concerned if you were tempted to try this 'dream scenario' out, and i know that youre not.

I agree that its just stress, and i agree with what CW said... dreams have hidden meanings...they are never as blatant as they appear.

Good luck with baby number 2, and dont let this affect you too much....stress and worry is never a good thing.