[2morrow]

My current beau has difficulty with Premature ejaculation. Many times, he is done within seconds of entering me. It is quite frustrating and I am sure he is embarrassed by it as well. He keeps saying its because he is so excited. Are there any guys out there, with suggestions or advice. Why does it happen, is it more psycological or physical. Help!

[WildChild]

How old is he? How long is his recovery time?

[Gippy11]

My current beau has difficulty with Premature ejaculation. Many times, he is done within seconds of entering me. It is quite frustrating and I am sure he is embarrassed by it as well. He keeps saying its because he is so excited. Are there any guys out there, with suggestions or advice. Why does it happen, is it more psycological or physical. Help!

Maybe you should give him oral until he cums the first time. While he is recovering he can give you oral. After a few minutes of servicing you, hopefully he will become erect again and then you should be able to have intercourse. He should be able to last a lot longer after the first one is out of the way. In the future, try different kinds of foreplay for him to unload that first shot. on nights that he knows he is going to get some, he could rub on out before you 2 get togther. Just like in There's something about Mary. Unload the weapon before you kill someone. Good Luck.

[2morrow]

Wildchild

Answering your question, he is 39. When it happens, he just wants to wrap it up. Not interested in proceeding. He doesn't want to give me oral either, to fill in the time until his next erection. Like I have said before on another post, he is lousy. I have noticed lately tho, that he is preferring that I give him oral instead of intercourse. I think he is avoiding intercourse, because he is afraid he will only last seconds. He is constantly leaving me wanting more. Should I stay or should I go.... Very frustrating.

[WildChild]

What is the rest of the relationship like? Is this the deal breaker? Just one more thing on the list? Or is it the only problem? Usually if a man is selfish sexually, he's selfish in other ways.
This is a touchy area for the men folk. He should start with a visit to the doctor to find out if there is a physical cause. Go from there. Regardless if he isn't willing to do anything to pleasure you sexually, what's he going to do in other areas of life?

Could he be inept? Insecure? Doesn't know how to use his hands or tongue? Hard as it is to believe there are men who reach their 30s and beyond without a clue that their tongue has any use beyond consuming, pontificating and berating. Been there. Not fun. At that age his recovery time getting a lot longer so "filling in the time" could take hours. Better if you get yours first. You are the only one who can decide if this is worth working on or walking.

[rcoreyus]

It may be difficult for him to fix PE, but he can fix his other behavior. There is no reason he can't spend time doing nice things to you before or after he finishes. I think his lack of interest in doing things for you is a much bigger problem than PE.

[Guest]

I've had these problems in the past among other things because some meds I take. There are ways to remedy this, I've posted some of things I've done and there are others.

Check the other threads.

I will tell you tho for a man this is definitely a killer for having sex any further, for some, they might deal with it better. But, for me it physiologically it just wiped me out. Not that deep down I wanted to but it for 1 destroys his ego.

It makes 1 feel less of a real Man but really that's not makes a man a man. If he performs every other way as a man it would be good for you to let him know that. Tell him you appreciate him for all the other things, I mean if you really do he needs to hear that, this will help his confidence. Patience is a big factor here too!

Try to remember tho this is what's probably affecting everything else, ok? Good Luck!

[2morrow]

Thanks to rcoreyus and In-need for the male input. What you said rcoreys has got me thinking. You have mentioned twice in posts that he should be doing nice things for me as I do for him. I am now thinking that maybe I am not worth the effort. That he is just not into me. What else could it be. I pay him many compliments, I sweet talk him, I write him love notes, I give him gifts. He knows I adore him, yet, I don't feel that way from him. We do not live together, nor does he spend the night at my place.

As for his P.E. who really knows what is going on with him. He has never mentioned any meds. I think it becomes an anxiety situation, and then it becomes a viscious circle. But it certainly doesn't make him less of a man. He is so well endowed that I just think what a waste, and what a disappointment for both of us. I just want to ride him forever, but a minute is about all I get. Again, thanx for your input.

[rcoreyus]

I'm sure you are "worth the effort". If he doesn't think so, you should find someone who does. I sounds like you deserve a lot better.

BTW: sorry I sometimes repeat myself, I loose track of what I have posted, and what I have just thought of posting. (I could check, but I'm just too lazy)

[njman2008]

Hey I am 24 year old male here and just wanted to chime in. This board has helped me a lot in my current relationship and now I want to be able to help those who need it!

The first thing it seems like he is not putting his 100% into the relationship and at this time you have to decide on a few things. Do you love him? Do you think you could love him? Could you see this being a long term relationship? If you do decide that this is the path you want to pursue, you should be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. Talk it out and ask him about his lack of effort (It may be related to his sexual problems). He may feel like he can't satisfy you and unconciously think you are going to leave him anyway and may not realize he is sabotaging the relationship. If that works and you see progress great! Now you may end up realizing that he just does not care. All you can do is put in your 100% effort. It sounds like you are and it sounds like you are a great catch!

Now the PE issues. I kind of have/had this issue. Although I have been sexually active for a while now, I do tend to ejaculate early (within minutes) on a few occasions. I do realize it is because I am excited and I also realized that sometimes when we masturbate, we tend to want to get off and at least I would do it fast (who wants to masturbate for an hour!!). I practiced masturbating to a woman's orgasm and I also did some other exercises. Now most days I am able to last at least until my partner has orgasmed once and when I know I haven't had any sexual contact for a while, I will masturbate earlier that day. Works almost all the time now. And if I do finish before my partner, I will always provide her with oral/manual stimulation if she feels like she wants more. I have also decided to buy a vibrator/dildo because in the end, I really like pleasuring my partner.