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  • secrets_safe8290
    Junior Member
    • Dec 2008
    • 5

    No sex at 19???

    I have no clue what to do. I am 18 years old and I have been in a serious relationship with my 19 year old fiancé for a year. Even In the begining there were sexual differances. I liked more adventurous (and more offten) then him. He preffered more calm sex. I settled more on his way just being glad to be with him.

    Recently things have changed DRASTICALLY. He hasn't wanted to have sex much at all.

    I'm 18 and it's hard for me just to put a stop on my sex life completely. I herd that a mans interest in sex slows down with age but he is only 19!

    I know he still finds me attractive because he tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is all the time. Still I can't help but think there has to me something wrong with me.
  • zeos133
    Member
    • Dec 2008
    • 42

    There's nothing wrong with you. When I was 19 I would have had sex 3 times a day if you'd let me. It's hard to say what's up with him. You're way too young to be dealing with this. Maybe you love him, I don't know. But I guarantee you can find another guy able to meet your expectations.

    Comment

    • SinisterUrge
      Veteran Member
      • Feb 2008
      • 370

      Right, nobody deserves to get engaged/married at 19. Thats just divorce waiting to happen.

      Comment

      • sourpuss
        Veteran Member
        • Dec 2006
        • 3581

        Maybe it's time for a break between the two of you. It sounds like neither of you are getting what you want. 18 is REALLY young and there's not reason to rush into something, ESPECIALLY when there are already problems and incompatibilities.

        Comment

        • secrets_safe8290
          Junior Member
          • Dec 2008
          • 5

          Thanks for the advice the age thing has never really been an issue with me. All that scares me is this happening before were even married. Kinda scary. There are a lot of other guys who are interested in me, I just can't let go of a commitment so big. I really do love him. It's just very hard to deal with.

          Comment

          • shweedart
            Veteran Member
            • Feb 2008
            • 679

            Well, differences or not I don't think you should leave him. You clearly love him and this could all just blow over! It's definitely worth discussing with him, whats the worst that could happen? It could change everything and end with a good result or it could just continue for a while. Chances are its a phase

            Could he be stressed? Is he a busy person?

            And if you don't mind me asking...how much is 'much at all'

            Comment

            • WildChild
              Banned
              • Sep 2008
              • 14142

              Do talk to him, you're too young to have to deal with this. At 50 I'm dealing with yet another sexless relationship and it's not healthy, you'd be surprised at how many men do this! It gets more common as they get older.

              Comment

              • hello_pitty
                Veteran Member
                • Mar 2008
                • 211

                Communication is very imortant in a relationship, especially marriage. Just ask him whats wrong....maybe he's stressed out...maybe he's getting cold feet.....What ever the reason, sit down with him and ask him to be honest with you...if he can't even tell you why, then thats a red flag and you should RUN, not walk away from this relationship!!

                If he's just tired or just doesn't feel like it, thats normal...but make sure to ask him WHY he doesn't feel like it. my fiance wouldn't have sex regularily with me for a a whole 5 months! I was quite worried because all he wanted was oral...but now that it winter and work slowed down for him...he's on me like a rabid horny wolf!!! hehehehe

                Don't worry so much girl, you're young and still technically "free"
                "I might be a little young, but honey I ain't naive"
                "If it ain't an APBT, it's just a dog"

                Comment

                • silvertae
                  Senior Member
                  • Aug 2008
                  • 197

                  Originally posted by secrets_safe8290
                  Thanks for the advice the age thing has never really been an issue with me. All that scares me is this happening before were even married. Kinda scary. There are a lot of other guys who are interested in me, I just can't let go of a commitment so big. I really do love him. It's just very hard to deal with.
                  But the age thing IS an issue because you're too young to have even seen what's available out there. If you took a few years to date around and meet other people you might find someone way more compatible.

                  If you're scared of letting go of the commitment at this stage, think of how much harder it's going to be when you're stuck in a sexless marriage and MISERABLE.
                  Well some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate, and for them I can not disagree. But I never learned nothing from playing it safe; I say fate should not tempt me. I take my chances.

                  Comment

                  • secrets_safe8290
                    Junior Member
                    • Dec 2008
                    • 5

                    Originally posted by shweedart
                    Well, differences or not I don't think you should leave him. You clearly love him and this could all just blow over! It's definitely worth discussing with him, whats the worst that could happen? It could change everything and end with a good result or it could just continue for a while. Chances are its a phase

                    Could he be stressed? Is he a busy person?

                    And if you don't mind me asking...how much is 'much at all'
                    I don't think I ever could leave him. He is my world. I really do love him. No I don't mind you asking at all. I'd say about 1 a month maybe twice. It's MUCH less then it used to be. But he has been very stressed out.

                    Comment

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