[caged_animal]

Hi,

I am interested in a guy at work, but there is a huge age gap (24 years) It doesn't bother me as i have already dated an old man, however i'm worried that he might think im too young. He knows i like him but he hasn't made any advances, i don't don't know if this is because of the age gap or because he's really shy, as i know he's been hurt before.

We've got our work christmas party soon and i don't know whether i should make a move on him or not.

Advise please! xx

[sourpuss]

I would advise against making a move at the work Christmas party. I would just go out of my way to get to know him better and see if he's interested as well.

[zeos133]

is there a conflict of interest that he may be concerned about? If he's a superior and there are rules against inter-office dating he might be concerned about getting in trouble or losing his job.

[caged_animal]

He's not a superior so it wouldn't be that, and im always taking the slow approach to guys and it never seems to work!

[Guest]

Even simple friendships between genders in the office are generally fraught with problems, never mind when any kind of real relationships or feelings are involved. I'm sure you are attracted to him and he's probably attracted to you too. You mentioned a 24 year age gap, but not hold old either of you are. There a difference between 19 & 44 and 30 & 54. what ages are involved? He may not be your supervisor, but what is the work relationship between your position and his? do you both occupy the same position?

[Guest]

oh, and are you looking for a relationship or just sex?

[zeos133]

if the party is lame you could casually ask if he'd be interested in getting a drink with you somewhere. But defintely avoid getting hammered at the party and coming onto him.

and you're sure he's not married right?

[WildChild]

With that age gap he is old enough to be your father, what are you looking for? What do you mean you've already dated an old man? You know when you are 40 he'll be retiring? Whyare you into men so much older? You need to have this self knowledge because you are not only dealing with your life but his too. You need to be acting from awareness, are you looking for a father figure? Or is there something more there? there is nothing wrong with a sizable age difference but you should know your self in this.

[2morrow]

Just for the simple fact alone that you work together, I wouldn't recommend starting a relationship. When it goes sour, the awkwardness alone, will have you regretting your decision to have ever started it. Please consider long and hard before you attempt approaching him.
The age difference is a biggie too. He may have children who are near your age, and this will also cause alot of awkwardness. There are alot of men out there who are available and who do not share a work environment with you. Maybe look elsewhere, you will eventually be glad you did.

[rcoreyus]

If he isn't married, and there are not conflict of interest issues at work, AND if you are just looking for fun, go for it. You are both adults (I assume).

But, 24 years is a really big gap for a long term relationship. When you are an active 55, and still want to skiing in the Alps, he will be 79, and may need to be in a retirement home (my father did at that age) - but he might then live to 90 (as my father has). You will loose many years of your life caring for him.