[sepia13]

I was wondering if you thought that how a man is in bed highly reflects his personality? Is this a good way to judge that?

The guy I'm with now if all about pleasing me, and I know he would go to great lengths to make sure I'm satisfied. There has to be more to it than just great sex. Does a caring sexual partner more often than not lead to a more caring partner in general?

[MansView]

I was wondering if you thought that how a man is in bed highly reflects his personality? Is this a good way to judge that?

I'd say so

Normally you'll experience things in the bedroom you wouldn't normally experience outside in a platonic situation.

But..... a personality is a complex thing

[withered_rose]

I think it matters to some extent. as far as how people are in bed versus how they are outside of the bedroom. I know that my fiance is happy if I orgasm and he always tells me that it doesn't matter weather or not he does. and as far as outside the bedroom he is the most loving person I have ever been with and he is willing to do anything for me. But who knows people are very complex, so leave it to your better judgement.

[Richard S]

Saying that a man goes to great lengths to please you means he loves women, not necessarily that he loves you. Some men see a woman as a place to put their thing, while others will bring a woman to orgasm over and over just to prove they can do it. Both are womanizers.

On the other hand, a lot of men have mother issues, and it's a positive step when they can just give a woman a healthy, detached f*ck based on nothing but being a strong masculine presence. It's possible to love a woman too much, to be too concerned about what's going on in her head. There's a happy medium, a balance to be found.

It's kind of a guy's dirty little secret. You become a better lover when you let go of the whole "sensitive new age guy" thing. It's OK to treat her like an object. Quite refreshing, actually. As long as you're not building on a false understanding or being manipulative. The problem is that it takes us guys until we are somewhere in our 30's to figure this out. Most of us spend our 20's being too much one way or too much the other.

[WildChild]

Richard I agree with you to a point. Letting go of the, " whole "sensitive new age guy" thing" works really well, if there is a connection already there. But sex that is never anything but the detached, objectified type usually isn't sustainable for women long term. At some point we have to have the emotional side supported. That doesn't mean that the sex always has to be some great spiritual experience but a man who detaches too often or all the time, sexually - no kissing, no cuddling - will wither a woman who loves him and leave her deeply wounded.

[Phoebee]

A guy who is into his own orgasm and not yours? Well... Run don't walk! ;-) If he is like way out of his head about yours and not his? Ahh... Walk maybe... That could be a weird factor to deal with.

Overthinking sex in general? Its not a math test... ;-)

[happy ending]

A guy who is into his own orgasm and not yours? Well... Run don't walk! ;-) If he is like way out of his head about yours and not his? Ahh... Walk maybe... That could be a weird factor to deal with.

Overthinking sex in general? Its not a math test... ;-)

i agree with all that, i never had an orgasm with my ex not in 18 years together, as i was inexperienced, he told me it was me. and i believed him. well guess what - it wasnt. he was a selfish immature man, in and out of the bedroom.

[KatieAnne]

Just basing it off one person, but the way my boyfriend is in the bed room is the way he is out side of the bed room. I have heard other women and friends say things they like and dislike about their men that correlate to the things like like/dislike about them out of the bed room lol

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Going to use one word..... "Passion"...

If a man makes it a point in pleasing you then he is passionate about life, everything in it, he understands, if you give you get 10 fold back..

So, to answer you question would it only be sexual? I don't think so...

Find someone passionate about life and he will take it into the bedroom... And, out of the bedroom, passionate about you, people, children, hobbies, life.....

CW