[cassie66]

i have never been able touse a vibrator in front of my husband, they turn him off

[Rebecca Deos]

It definately could have something to do with the meds, many women have problems saying that they can't climax, it's like the meds somehow disconnect something internally

If you do want to become more self aware, theres a great book by Jayme Waxman called "Getting Off: A Females Guide to Masterbation"

[MissLyss]

Thanks everyone for your answers and ideas-- they're really helpful!

[Guest]

free your mind, relax, & explore yourself.
pleasure yourself so that you do orgasm and do it a few times so you are know what does it for you. that way you can help guide him into giving you the pleasure you want/need to reach one together.
maybe get a few toys, use them yourself and let him try them on you when he come back home. try diff techniques, styles, rythems, mix it all up. something will get you at some point. some women are more easily pleasured than others. so dont worry to much and relax so you dont stress to much.

you mentioned he worries................. listen, first off be glad he does as alot of people are out just for themselves. the other thing i dont he worries in any way bad, just wants you to be as happy as he is. so i wouldnt say worry at all, i would say he wants your happy and pleasured.

[MissLyss]

Thanks, JWB_pof.

Another question-- *Possible TMI!*
I've still been trying to work on masturbating, but haven't orgasmed. On two separate occasions, though, I've had it feel more intense and liquid comes out-- it feels kind of like peeing. I know it's not an orgasm, but what does this mean? That I'm close? After the liquid came, I kept going at it, but finally got too tired and gave up. It wasn't from G-spot stimulation, it was clitoral. There are threads here that discuss this, but I wanted to hear what you thought of my particular case, as most people say the liquid is from G-spot stimulation, and I know mine wasn't.

[marmar86]

Where does the liquid come out of? If its just coming out of your vagina, then it could be just you becoming wet from the pleasure, which is completely normal. If it comes out of your urethra, then it does sound like what happens to some women with gspot stimulation. Some women might ejaculate from clitoral stimulation too...Im not too sure!

[Guest]

Thanks, JWB_pof.

Another question-- *Possible TMI!*
I've still been trying to work on masturbating, but haven't orgasmed. On two separate occasions, though, I've had it feel more intense and liquid comes out-- it feels kind of like peeing. I know it's not an orgasm, but what does this mean? That I'm close? After the liquid came, I kept going at it, but finally got too tired and gave up. It wasn't from G-spot stimulation, it was clitoral. There are threads here that discuss this, but I wanted to hear what you thought of my particular case, as most people say the liquid is from G-spot stimulation, and I know mine wasn't.

This my dear is called "squirting" of which most women work their entire lives and are not able to do!!!!

The main thing is relaaxing!...It may feel like pee but trust me it's not and just go with it......

[nsharonew]

I was in a relationship for 10 years and never had an orgasm. I also cannot get myself to masterbate, it makes me sleepy...everytime I think I want to, I go in my room, try to start and just want to take a nap.

I think if you can relax you will have a better go at it. Sometimes, with men, and woman, if you are going into it with the goal of having an orgasm, you will find it harder to get to. Just go into it to have fun.

When you feel like it gets unbearable, and you want him to stop, does it feel like you have to pee really bad? You might be on the verge, if this is the case (there are two types of orgasm, one is from the clit stimulation and one is from the inner vaginal stimulation, inner vaginal stimulating, typically on the front wall, will push on the uretha, and make you feel like you need to pee). That's normal for some woman. I would say, before you know you are going to have sex, go to the bathroom first and empty your bladder so you aren't concerned with wetting yourself, this will help you relax too. Some woman can experience orgasms of both types, others only one or the other.

A vibrator, either used by you or by him, may or may not be the answer. If you are "almost" there, maybe you need the extra push. Also remember that woman peak sexually later than men, your sex drive will likely pick up even more as you get older (ironically, because men decline with age...not fair!)

Go check out about.com, there are some GREAT articles on there for ideas and also the science about orgasms and sex.

Your stress may be a factor, but if you are in love with him, you likely feel less stress when you are around him. It may not be the hindering factor. Have him check out askmen.com (I frequent this site...shhhh.....) there are some great tips for men on there.

You also asked what it feels like...can't help you there, other than if you have had one, you know it. It's kind of like all your nerve endings are on edge and you are aware of everything, and then BAM, it's like an explosion (with aftershock, if he did it right). Also, after the first one, they come quicker.

That's all I have for now!

[MissLyss]

Thanks, you're all being very helpful! I'm going to see the doctor I check in with about my medication side effects, so I'll probably speak to him about the medication affecting things.

nsharonew- Sometimes it feels like I have to pee when it's unbearable, but other times it basically feels like too much. It doesn't hurt, but it kind of feels like maybe-- the vaginal equivalent to how your ears feel when music is too loud? Although it's from touch, not sound, obviously. Hahahaha, if that makes any sense! And it's not a feeling like, you never want it to stop, which is how I assume it's supposed to feel. It's not a bad feeling, but not great either. Sometimes it feels good, though, of course-- when he's very gentle, usually-- but I feel like he gets impatient (he doesn't act impatient, I just assume he is).

[sexually_distraught]

I agree!!

Thanks everyone! Hearing what you have to say has been really helpful. I'm really thinking about what you're saying.

SinisterUrge-- it's happened a few times; sometimes I don't remember the dream, sometimes I can see where it might have contributed (but not really?), but usually, it makes no sense and seems almost random!

Also, I've been trying to experiment with finding out what I like-- the problem is, I don't like masturbating and I can't seem to make any progress. Everyone seems to recommend masturbation as a way to figure things out, and it makes sense, but I can't seem to get it to work for me. That must be weird! Or is it?

I totally agree with you about masterbation, everyone tells me to but I don't feel anything if I try, I can't get myself excited for just myself, and I really don't have much of an imagination. So is it just hopeless for me then?? At least you are only a few months into everything, this has been going on for 6 years for me.