[ThexMrs]

"I too agree the sexual encounter that goes along with this type of relationship would be the biggest issue to deal with, whether one has experience or not. Specially since the fantasy of the mind plays a big part in this."

I feel like what I was trying to say in this thread is getting taken the wrong way. Maybe I wasn't clear enough. I'm not sure. I did say that it wasn't what I expected at all. I realize that. I guess I didn't know what I expected now that I think about it more. I'm not saying that it was bad. I just liked being with him and the emotions that went into the sex were more than enough for me.

The "naughty" conversations and photos didn't lead me to believe that this was going to be the best sex ever. I did that honestly, for him. I don't "get off" on dirty talking or dirty photos. It's never been my thing.

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

The main point is that all I wanted to know was whether or not he talked a good game or he was just nervous. I think I found that answer.

Thanks.

[ycats]

i read ........it's a relationship based on a fantasy........I'm torn 1/2 ways. see i've been in this situation and it's not as easy because there are feelings invloved. however i have to share we had text sex ,email sex ,instant msg sex,and every 3 months i'd get to have real sex never did i get a phone call he disappeared 4 xmas and tnxgiving and yes everything we would talk about would happen but at the end of the day i'd discovered that I wanted more than a one night stand and cyber sex........and I came to this conclusion............................sometimes people give all the've got.The problem with me was that I wanted more.He couldn't give me more than what he had already given me..........I accepted it and moved on.we still text but it's not the same.

[ThexMrs]

i read ........it's a relationship based on a fantasy........I'm torn 1/2 ways. see i've been in this situation and it's not as easy because there are feelings invloved. however i have to share we had text sex ,email sex ,instant msg sex,and every 3 months i'd get to have real sex never did i get a phone call he disappeared 4 xmas and tnxgiving and yes everything we would talk about would happen but at the end of the day i'd discovered that I wanted more than a one night stand and cyber sex........and I came to this conclusion............................sometimes people give all the've got.The problem with me was that I wanted more.He couldn't give me more than what he had already given me..........I accepted it and moved on.we still text but it's not the same.

I understand what you are saying. Luckily for me, we have a great relationship. Yes, we have had our ups and downs just like any other relationship but for the most part things are great. He's met my family and I'm going to meet his soon. It's definitely serious. The text sex, email, etc was just for fun. We weren't replacing something that wasn't there so to speak. The real sex was fine... Nerves got the best of us. No big deal. He's never disappeared on me or not contacted me, etc. I don't know what to say about that. I'm sorry that this happened to you. When it's not right, it's not right, you know?

I hope you find what you are looking for.

[WildChild]

WILDCHILD:

We are all entitled to our own opinions but I don't feel that you can judge what is too soon for me to have sex with anyone. If that is when I came in defensive, I feel that I had that right. I don't think that these Forums are for being judged. What works for you may not work for me. So for defending the timeline of when him and I had sex I think is fair. 6 months in this day and age is a long time.

As I said communicating clearly can be a challenge. What I intended but didn't convey clearly is that, the sexual encounter may have gone better if you had more actual time together physically to build up to it. If you had be able to spend some days or weeks just engaging in 'making out' and then moving into intercourse, it probably would have been a more satisfactory experience.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I believe that I made a comment, that reflected "false" people on the Internet with their words and pictures... That was based however, on a dating site, which I may add, was not one that I hung around on, rather every now and then, with the view to see if there was any compatible opposite sex, or to simply date so I did not forget how to, however, alternatively, their profiles were not written by them, or their photo was 10 years old.

Your thread mentioned "photos", etc and as such I believe that those words were caught and then this thread got "caught up".. Immediate presumption.

20 doesn't necessarily spell non understanding of sex.. I know a couple of 20 year olds that could give 50 year olds a run for their money...

Your question was simply one of "words spoken" gave you an illusion that, upon meeting "sexually", this is what you can expect, feel and experience with this particular person.... However, it didn't happen upon that meet and so you are questioning the honesty of those words.

No one can answer that, simply put but it made an interesting thread.

You can't really ask him in a straight out manner...that to me would be calling him a lier....and making things awkward.

You can see over time as you get to know each other intimately, whether he produces the goods so to speak of what he spoke, or you can instigate it, upon your meets of intimacy or ask, as two people can do when intimate for a certain act etc that you are referring to... Then I believe you will have your answer.

As for the spin off on this thread... Yes, it is difficult to hear a tone in a voice in how a sentence is meant. Yes, it is difficult to see the expression on some one's face in written communication, however, today we have web cams which can show this via voice and sight.

Simply, some people can have a gift for the "written word", and express more in this method than they ever would verbally..

People CAN meet via the internet and end up in a relationship that lasts.

And, people CAN be themselves and be no different when you meet in person.

There is no difference than the con man that talks the talk at a bar a couple of times over dates, and then turns out to be a jerk. In-fact, written communication over a period of time which involves normal conversation and a good amount of that, can be by far an excellent way to get to know someone.

I think too many people automatically see " he is wanting cyber sex", doesn't care... It's not the case in all communications via this method...

It is a method... like any other method of communication.

CW

[Guest]

"Ditto" CW, Very Nicely Put, I wouldn't have expected anything less of you.......

[ThexMrs]

As I said communicating clearly can be a challenge. What I intended but didn't convey clearly is that, the sexual encounter may have gone better if you had more actual time together physically to build up to it. If you had be able to spend some days or weeks just engaging in 'making out' and then moving into intercourse, it probably would have been a more satisfactory experience.

Right and I agree... I think that the comfort level and ease would have been so much better. I actually talked to him about this tonight (told him about the thread) and he said that he was just really nervous.

[SinisterUrge]

nerves?! Bah! Nerves might explain jumping the gun or not being able to even be able to get up to bat, but no cunnilingus? Are his hands broken too?

I call "lazy lover"

[ThexMrs]

nerves?! Bah! Nerves might explain jumping the gun or not being able to even be able to get up to bat, but no cunnilingus? Are his hands broken too?

I call "lazy lover"

I'm over it now. I talked to him and that's good enough for me. The next time we shall see.

[mewhenim]

I think it was so built up that when you finally had sex he was so turned on he exploded. I think when your texting or emailing when your horny you can make things sound way hotter than they are. Text and phone sex always goes seamlessly, you don't have the awkwardness of reality. Never had a dog sniff my butt hole during text sex lol. Point is when your texting everything happens just as you say it does. Text and reality tend to turn out quiet differently. Perhaps if you're happy with him, change how you have sex untill it's good or you give up. I have a similar problem. I have a guy I text dirty with, but when it comes down to it... he isn't all that good. I think it's mainly hot 'cause it seems naughty (ex co-worker) and no one knows.