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Questions about erections

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  • he cannot contoroll his erection. The dialation of the blood vessels is contorolled by smoothe (involuntary) muscle, part of the parasympathetic nervous. Just like you don't controll digestion, you can't controll vasodilation. Best he can do is think of things that turn him on.

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    • [QUOTE=Hopeless Dork;79880]
      I doubt there are guys sitting over coffee talking about the woes of their gf who was so wet at the start, then not so wet, then a little more wet then WOW wet, then not so wet what is going on there? haha. They are like, wet, fine, kthxbai, good enough. lol
      QUOTE]

      LOL Go visit our "sister" site, ah, brother site maybe? The Men's Health Forum. They are rather skittish in their conversations. My gran who was born in late 1800s was more up front talking about sex than some of them over there! But it can be interesting to see what the men are concerned with. Sexually from what I've noticed they are more focused on their bodies than ours. But then I've noticed that on the home front too.

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      • I think men and women are foused both on themselves and each other at the same time body wise.

        My guy wears glasses and can not wear contacts. He can't see a lot without his glasses (think under water) and wears the ungodly costing ultra thin lenses. For him he wants to look at every inch of me from every angle (and some I never knew).

        First few times we had sex I'd take of his glasses and attack him. He finally had to say "I'm gonna die if I can't see you, stare at you, and watch you and I can't see sh*t without my glasses."

        So they're always on now during sex, but it's still funny during oral to see a pair of stylish glasses looking up at me. And he keeps packets of the best glasses cleaners beside the bed and cleans them BEFORE we go to bed at night. He always wants to be sure some piece of dust or a smear doesn't get in his way of a "really good view" if we play, even though his eyes are often close enough to what he's looking at (or kissing, or "whatever") that a blind man could see details. But a lot for him is looking at me 3-4 feet away from wherever he his or angle he's looking from.

        Some of my "stuff" when I'm talking I can show him or be in some positions and he can carry on a conversation with one of those cute medium soft but big erections. But with almost "I told you so" proof, I know what to show him or position, or angle to let him see and I can watch his penis snap to attention like a soldier. It's like me giving his penis telepathic commands.

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        • Originally posted by WildChild View Post
          LOL Go visit our "sister" site, ah, brother site maybe? The Men's Health Forum. They are rather skittish in their conversations. My gran who was born in late 1800s was more up front talking about sex than some of them over there! But it can be interesting to see what the men are concerned with. Sexually from what I've noticed they are more focused on their bodies than ours. But then I've noticed that on the home front too.
          There are a lot of reasons the Men's Health forum doesn't really thrive. The main concern men have about sex is how to get a woman to say yes in the first place, and no man will post to a forum saying he has problems in that area, because he's just going to sound like a whiner and a loser.

          The other side of it is if a guy's been dumped by a girl, or she never gave him the chance in the first place, and he's basically just nursing a broken heart at that point. The main advice you give to a guy is to man up and get over it. Not much room for discussion.

          There's also a straight/gay dynamic. It's OK for a woman to confess to lesbian experimentation, but bring that topic up in a men's forum, and all you will ever hear is the sound of crickets chirping, virtually speaking.

          And then, of course, there's the real reason. I would say 90% of problems men have with sex and dealing with women come down to the classic issue in psychology - of the man being betrayed by his father, of not really knowing how to be a man. And, we don't talk about that, ever. You want to know why men internalize so much? It's because you can't handle the truth about how much pain some men have to process. So it's not just that men lack the verbal skills. It runs much, much deeper than that.

          We now return you to your regular programming.

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          • Originally posted by Hopeless Dork View Post
            I've always been curious about the various states of erections and what they mean, if anything at all.

            It seems like guys have soft, getting there, hard, super hard, and whoa where'd that thing come from?. I'd imagine the last one obviously probably comes from being very arroused but does a man have control at all over how big his erection becomes?

            When a guy is trying to hold out on coming does it decrease ?

            If a guy goes from whoa where'd that thing come from down to hard, and back again and back and forth does that mean they are periodically losing interest or is it just a natural part of the arrousal process?

            And while were at it , do testicles show any changes based on arrousal? Sometimes they seem tight, sometimes more relaxed are these also indicators of a guy getting close to orgasm , far from it, etc?
            Back to the OP: Having been a guy for, gosh, all my life now, maybe I can shed some light: How hard guys get is a function of how turned on we are. Period. We don't come w/ a remote control or even a knob that we can dial in hardness. Boy I wish we did. As we get older, we lose some firmness which is a bit disheartening, but it gives us some flexibility that allows some positions that were once painful. Fear and anxiety come into play too. I can remember a GF wanting to do it in a parking lot once and mr. happy was not happy about the surroundings and petered out so to speak. Unexpected comings and goings of guests/chidren can have the same effect on hardness as can drugs.

            As the point of no return approaches, a change in what we are doing or what you are doing to us can stop the upcoming explosion. Whether this has any impact on hardness depends on, see above, how turned on we are. Personally, my guy tends to subside a bit the longer we go, but not by a whole lot. It always comes back to how turned on we are.

            Generally the balls rise during sex to protect the jewels. This is mother nature looking out for the boys, and for me how high they go is a function of both arousal and action. If they start to swing a lot, nature steps in to help protect them. One of my boys will actually rise up and pop inside my body on occasion which isn't very comfortable. The reason they rise is to protect against a bad hit in the heat of the moment. The boys are very sensitive to pressure but like women, how much pressure they can stand changes dramatically w/ arousal. Please help yourself to stroking them during sex as we like it, a lot. And a firmer touch is nice as we get close to orgasm. If you aren't getting bounced around too much, encircling the balls b/w the balls and body and gently tugging to pull them back down feels wonderful, but there is a fine line b/w wonderful and ouch. And yes, they seem to be at peak tightness close to orgasm.

            Regarding getting harder or softer during foreplay and sex, it really doesn't have anything to do w/ us losing interest. We don't generally lose interest, we just become focused on something else at the moment like trying to find out what you want at a particular time. If mr. happy doesn't get physicially stimulated for a period of time while we are focused on you, he may wain a bit, but this doesn't mean we have lost interest, much to the contrary.

            So there, Hopeless, one guys opinion.

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            • Regarding erections, here are a few random notes.

              I had a lover in my 20 who just really liked oral. She didn't always have a killer technique, but she had the right attitude, I mean, she genuinely loved the art of being a woman, making love to a man that way. There were a lot of times when I was maybe 50% hard, and she would suck me just the same, in fact there were variations of technique that she could try in that situation because it was less of a chore to keep me in her mouth. As you can tell I still have fond memories.

              In my 30's there was another woman, she was eager to learn and by then I knew how to describe things like where the frenulum was and give her suggestions on what to try. So one night (it was my 33rd birthday to be exact), we had a very intense session with intercourse, and after I came and was completely limp, she brought me back to being hard with just some gentle tongue motion around the frenulum area, she kept this up for what seemed like 10 minutes or so (you tend to lose track of time in these situations), and then she brought me to a second, even more intense orgasm. That was my birthday present.

              And... That's all I'm going to say in this thread...

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              • Skipper and Richard, your male input on this is priceless. Erections are so mysterious, guys like to talk about women being complex down there and men simple but I think that men also have some stuff that takes a lot of figuring out. Testicles are a big one. Some guys like them played with, some not. Some like light touch, some like more intense touch. Some like both but at different times want a different intensity of stimulation there or none at all. Its a tricky area fellas!!

                I don't know what a frennulum is, richard but I am googling that immediately lol. I think at the heart of things, when you care about someone so much you want to please them as much as you possibly can. Obviously communication is key to sorting out what pleases your particular partner. But its nice to be able to come here and get a basic understanding of how things typically work.
                Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

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                • The frenulum is the ridge of skin that runs down the shaft of the penis from the spot right beneath the urethral opening. Think of that spot as "Point A". If the man is circumcised, you have to find the spot where the frenulum intersects the circumcision line. Think of that spot as "Point B". Your goal is to gently use your lips and tongue as you move back and forth between Point A and Point B.

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                  • HD, I wish all women had your interest. Just remember, the penis wants to be your friend. He comes in peace and he wants to understand and please you. Ha!

                    Remember that the penis head is just like the girl in the boat. Go exploring other places but always return the focus to R's point a & point b and your guy will be happy. Always use lube (spit works but is short lived). When you go for the balls be smooth and deliberate in your moves. My wife used to grab for my crotch and it instinctively caused me to pull back. Once she learned to ease her way down my stomach or up my leg it was much better for both of us.

                    Any knocking, pinching or striking on loose hanging balls can cause pain, sometimes severe, crippling pain. That's why you are told to kick a guy there if he attacks you. A well placed strike to the balls will drop any man instantly, usually much faster than a handgun shot to the chest. However, once they are excited and happy about seeing you and tighten up, you can get frisky. I'll tell you want I like is for my wife to coat my pecker and balls w/ lube and stroke me from the tip past the taint and back. That will drive me throught the ceiling. Your guy may be different. Try it.

                    I've had a vasectomy and it's been so long ago that I can't remember not having a vasectomy. I don't know about other guys, but the procedure left the backside of my balls very sensitive to pressure. You might ask R about that. So if your guy had a V, ask as you explore there.

                    If you and your lover are really close and can handle it, ask him to masturbate for you while you masturbate for him. Ask him to do himself the way he'd like you to do him and you likewise. Should be a big turn on for both of you and you'll both probably learn some interesting tips.

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                    • Gee guys I thank you too, guess I have my answer and think I will just keep doing what I am. Guess its not that bad my guy is over 50 and still can cum twice in a longish session! Think I might pay more attention to his bits tonight with my eyes lol

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