[lovemyself1]

just curious if anyone has had this problem...
i've posted before about ED, but i think this is a different angle.. my guy and i have noticed that durring sex, the more he works and gets out of breath, thats when he starts to lose his erection. like if i perform oral or a nice hand job, he stays hard cuz he's not doing anything but laying there and moaning. anyone know what to do about this? i was thinking exercise to help build up his stamina...or is this just ED and go see his MD?

[Guest]

I'm not aware of any mechaism whereby increased intensity during sex should cause this.

Possibly more to do with that his general low-libido is causing him to loose sensitivity during sex, and so he requires more concentrated oral/digital stimulation.

[Steph33]

Consider seeing a Dr.

My guy had arteries blocked and that happended often before heart surgery. Possibly strain from being out of shape (lungs, heart rate, blood pressure)

No meaning to cause a panic, just may be a health or respitation issue that exerction is more than he can handle. If he gets pale with he's out of breath that's another symptom.

There is a big difference between breathing heavy and gasping.

[rcoreyus]

It happens to me, don't know if it is unusual. I don't have any known medical problems.

[golden_nemesis]

This happens to my partner, but we usually chalk it up to the fact that he is mildly asthmatic. So its mostly an oxygen saturation issue.

If that happens, I tell him to lay down and I hop on top for a while till he's recovered. Just alternate him being on top with you being on top, and you should be golden.

[skipper]

What's his history, age, and fitness level? Overweight? Excercise regularly?
A lot of things could be at play. Does he just lose some hardness or does he go limp? I doubt this is an ED issue. More likely a fitness/age issue.

Sometimes when you gals are laying there and we are between your legs doing the best we can, we get tired and when we get tired, mr. happy can get tired too. A lot us aren't studs in our twenties any more and the ONLY bright side is that we make more money than they do!

[WildChild]

LOL Skipper, you're funny and you've asked some good questions. A physical would probably be a good idea - better to err on the side of caution. Then experiment and see what works.

[lovemyself1]

It happens to me, don't know if it is unusual. I don't have any known medical problems.

what do you do when it happens??

He's not much overweight... he's 5'10 about 190 pounds, he's not very active so i suggested some exercise. it happens more than he likes to admit, i told him its hard as a woman to not think i have something to do with it. he thinks i'm crazy and that other women dont think that way. tell me ( so i know i'm not crazy) how many women out there have had their partner lose an erection durring sex? and did the thought cross your mind that maybe you arenot good? or not sexy enough?

thanks to all for your advise, i think he is goin to the dr, i dont want this to come between us. sex is not the only thing, but it is very important.

[rcoreyus]

When it happens, I find other nice things to do for her. I'm afraid that as you get older, it gets more common. The worst think you can do is make him stress about it.

As far as visiting a doctor - remember that the mediacal industry is a for-profit business like any other.

[Steph33]

With heart meds or lack of sleep it happens to my guy at times, it's probably MORE lousy for the guy who loves you not being able to do for you. Usually he just switches to giving me oral, which he likes more than intercourse and that makes him hard again. Also my hand combined with deep kisses and some dirty talking gets him back where he wants to be and we continue.

Try rotating between oral and intercourse without longer periods of time where he can get tired, or when you sense he's getting tired you get on top and take over the driving for awhile so he can rest a bit.

You can also try a switch to whatever position you know he likes best if less physical strain for him till he's hard again. Or try one where he's doing less work, like both of you laying on your sides and have him enter you from behind so he doesn't have the extra effort of holding up his own torso's weight.