[ThexMrs]

It's like this... I send my boyfriend photos of me just being me. Nothing sexual but just to show him me since we are in a long distance relationship. When I do this he says, "Thank you baby. That was a nice photo." He never says that I am beautiful, gorgeous, cute or anything like that. BUT... When I send him dirty photos he says, "Thank you baby. That's so effin (since I can't say the real word) sexy!" or "Oh baby! That's so effin hot!"

Is he attracted to me? I know that he loves me very much. That is not the question. I just wonder if he thinks I am pretty. During our typical conversations at times I'll tell him that he's cute and he will say, "You're cute too!" I'm just confused and don't want to bring this up because I don't want him to think that I am nagging or complaining.

What do you think?
Is he attracted to me?

[ThexMrs]

I'm probably not supposed to do this but I left one part out. I have seen a picture of his ex girlfriend and I am more attractive than she is. We both have dark hair but mine is long and hers was short. (He likes long hair) I also have a more attractive face. I'm not sure about body though.

Anyways...

He used to always tell me how beautiful and gorgeous I was. He would say things like, "We know who the good looking one in this relationship is." - Meaning me. It's almost a year into our relationship and I wonder if he's just getting used to me and doesn't feel he needs to put in the effort.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know men can't win.

Let me pose this to you. If he commented that you looked hot in a normal photo but didn't in a sexy photo would your question be the same?

Yep.

And, is it comfortability? Or effort. In other-words, you already now how he feels about you.

I know that he loves me very much. That is not the question.

Grr, now i have your text and colour, haha.

The point being, if you know, then don't question........

CW

[ThexMrs]

I know that he loves me but that doesn't mean he's attracted to me. I mean, sure... Personality wise, yes, he's extremely attracted to me but it's the physical I wonder about.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well... in my experience at such a young age, it's the physcial that attracts first, then the inner comes into play.

Therefore, it's the physical that he initially liked, and then the personality, etc after, you can't go for someone your not physically attracted to... nature of the beast.

I think you have a wonderful relationship, seriously... and your photos show the beauty, as you are, beautiful..

Outer and within.. you shine sweet.

That's my opinion and I am not changing it.

We all question at some stage, it's normal... until we know....

CW

[caterpillar79]

Most men are not vocal in complementing their mates. But physical normally goes first, then personality, etc...

To shed more light to this, I recommend you read: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. I know this is old, but it works. It can give you a better understanding about men's nature, and our nature as well, and how we compliment each other, while sometimes misinerpreting one another, which could end up bad.

I read this myself and I asked my BF to confirm to me if such and such point/s apply to him, and we had fun drawing those out. He became sweeter and more expressive after I shared the book to him. He even read some parts of it and agrees with it. Now, I am more confident in talking to him about sensitive matters.

It would also help if you guys have a "book read" and share insights with each other. (Psychology) books on self improvement and relationships really work wonders. Try it!

[Hopeless Dork]

I think we read too much into everything. My bf has come out and told me how attracted he is to me and I still on a bad low self-esteem day will think he might not find me attractive and look at little things like him not being excited enough at a pic I sent. And the thing with guys is he might look at your pic you send and say to himself "she is so beautiful, how did I get so lucky?" then respond to you with something lesser than that , not on purpose - but just sometimes they dont realize how much it might matter to you.

I find my bf to be the most gorgeous man. Really. We've been together a while now and I still feel like I have a crush on him and blush in his presense from time to time. And I've never commented to him on any of his photos ' you are so hot' or anything like that , I know he knows how attracted I am, given that I can't take my hands off of him lol.. but if he was basing how sexy I find him on how I've complimented his pictures - his conclusion would be so far off base.

But ... lucky for us - guys don't really do that. They generally don't analyze everything we do. We really need to learn to relax and be the same

[Steph33]

My guy has large professional photos of me in basically nasty lingerie on his office walls that he adores (and he often reminds me since getting them as a gift a couple months ago).

Last week I was sitting on the sofa in the living room feeling rather cranky (lots cranky). I had a hair tie on and oversize panties and a T-shirt while I felt bloated and otherwise like during my period. He came in, put a pillow on the floor, got on his knees, and read me a poem he wrote about how beautiful I am.

I like to think all men think their partner is hot even when they're not or if they don't express themselves well verbally.

[WildChild]

I used to get told how great I looked, how attracted he was. Not any more...they seem to figure once your hooked so to speak, there is no need. Sigh. It would be nice to have a compliment once in a while.

[Steph33]

Sorry Wildchild

My guy doesn't exactly feel inferior and he isn't. I love him to death physically, more important he's smart, kind, protective, and generous. And he verbally expresses himself well anywhere, any time.

But I can see when he doesn't see me seeing (make sense?) he feels he caught one above his level of the food chain. That's his mind.

Maybe being in his mid-40s he's aware he needs to perform maintenance to keep the operation running smooth. That's smart. But part must be natural personality.

I'd never stay where I felt unappreciated, undesirable, neglected in any way, etc. Not every waking moment, but for sure some minutes of any day. Not like there isn't time. But that's just me. Mundane is not a life for me (or him).

3 1/2 years into it I can tell we're more verbal and communicate even more. In the average week I spend more time looking down at just his eyes or the top of his head between my legs then I did the first year (about the only time we don't talk). And we both put effort into the keep it hot aspects. Right now, today, his big life "paranoia" is having sinus surgery. Not for pain or hassle, he's literally scared out of his shorts he won't be able to smell my scent after the operation when he gives me oral sex.

I think we're old enough this is how it will be, a lot of that being bad pasts we both had and appreciate what we have now (so want it to stay that way). Boring or bored is the worst thing in relationships, but it never has to be. You both need to watch each other to snap the other out of getting into "ruts."

When mine came from home heart surgery he helt mutalated (chest scar) but it didn't bother me a bit. Can't even see it now. But at first he almost cried whenever I wanted to look at him. He had to take heavy painkillers for some weeks that totally knocked him down to sleep. I used near-impossible-to-get-off make up to write my name and "I love you", with red hearts on his penis while he was sleeping. That helped him start to come back. And it made him laugh because I made him go to 2 doctor appointments alone that week where I knew he had to strip before he could get the stuff off.