[Heatwave]

Ok, that title actually comes from a song, know the one?! Anyway, I just want to say that I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and I have a real inner conflict going on. I love him but don't feel like I've got out and experienced sex enough. I'm 27 but only started having sex at 22, and I'm in a relationship with someone I really love and admire, yet I still get urges to just go wild and explore before settling down. I always wanted to experience sex in many different forms, not with lots of different people but with more than I have.

It's very confusing, do I stay or do I go? I know it's individual so I'm not really asking about the relationship side of it, I want to know if anyone's had a similar experience, and whether the urges will go away or if they can only be satisfied by getting out there and having some wild, exciting sex before I settle down. I'm going to uni somewhere else this Sept so we'll be in different cities for two years. Do you think it's possible to rekindle a relationship after a break?

God I'm so confused - and the dam horny hormones aren't helping me think straight! Thank you thank you thank you, any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

[rcoreyus]

You can rekindle a relationship after years - but don't expect that it will happen. If you are already thinking of other men, and you will be apart for 2 years - I don't think the relationship will last, best to end it cleanly.

I think it is good to get some experience when you are young. Otherwise you may have (often unfounded) regrets when you are old.

[Heatwave]

Thank you. I'm not thinking of other men I'm just sexually frustrated. It's so easy to stay in the safe zone and I don't want to have regrets..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

OOOHHH AHHHHH ....

k... simple...

If you feel that you aren't getting sexual satisfaction k.

If however, the earth did not move, your body did not react, your feelings are, well ok next?

What Corey was saying was correct and I don't even have to read what he wrote, i know him, DON'T get married.

You can not be two different people in bed, think about it , it doesn't make sense, nor can you be two different people with different thoughts, it does not work, think about it.

That is what you need to think about.

CW

[njman2008]

I am sort of in the same situation. I have been in a relationship since I was 19 and I will be 25 on Tuesday! I think about sleeping with other women all the time and feel like I might be missing something. I don't feel like I have enough sex with my g/f now and she is not a very sexual person. When we do have sex, it is good...but I have only been with her and one other person and sometimes feel like I just want to sleep around.

[Chantalemma]

ok, sO i TOO have the same thinking. I have been in a 10 year relationship. I am now 23 yrs old. I have had only 1 partner. I felt like I was missing out too... and then I thought what am I missing out on really? NOTHING! SEx I have sex with him when and where and How I want it. Same for him. I have the love and support from him. We love eachtoher just bought our first house together... Life is great, WHy would I want to change what I have here for a lay in the sack with someone different. I guess it is all about priorities. You have to set your own. WHat you are looking for in a relationship. If you want to be commited to someone... it is all up to you. Is it worth loosing what you have for one . It mgiht not even be good. I am not willing to take that chance. I am sexually satisfied. I have a huge sex drive and I masturbate when I can't have him. Things you can do without hurting him or your relationship.

[Heatwave]

OOOHHH AHHHHH ....

You can not be two different people in bed, think about it , it doesn't make sense, nor can you be two different people with different thoughts, it does not work, think about it.

CW

I think it's so true what you say about not being able to be two different people. Right now I feel torn apart and just want to feel whole, it felt like he completed me for a while but stress has got in the way. However, regarding the sex, it's never been quite what I wanted...

ok, sO i TOO have the same thinking. I have been in a 10 year relationship. I am now 23 yrs old. I have had only 1 partner. I felt like I was missing out too... and then I thought what am I missing out on really? NOTHING! SEx I have sex with him when and where and How I want it. Same for him. I am sexually satisfied. I have a huge sex drive and I masturbate when I can't have him. Things you can do without hurting him or your relationship.

Thanks. It's a bit different for me because we don't have sex when and where I want. I seem to have a bigger sex drive than him, and I'm always the one who wants to go on for longer and try different things, and sometimes masturbating instead just isn't the same as being with a lover! I would never hurt him that's why I'm having a real think about this and asking others . . . it helps so much to get an outside opinion.

Ugh, sometimes things just seem so simple and other times so complicated.

[Heatwave]

Ugh I am so sick of this. I thought just reading through lots of different threads might help because I can get some advice from all of them but it just makes me more frustrated. My situ is a bit like'Mirai Leif's' Maybe i'm being selfish but..

my partner is 33 and has had various girlfriends - mostly long-term, so inexperience for his lack of enthusiasm (and short sex sessions) is just not an excuse! He just doesn't seem to have his heart in sex, I definitely care a lot more, and the sad thing is this puts a dampner on the whole relationship despite him being wonderful, smart, gorgeous, caring etc bla bla bla.

I always thought sex was important, but never realised quite how important. seems it can really make or break a relationship.

[hello_pitty]

Well you're young and horney, get out there and experience...but make sure you're on the pill and use a condom EVERY time

No at the moment marriage would not be for you, I think you might end up losing it. But you can also talk to him about it. Tell him you're so horny and it drives you nuts that he isn't.

communication is key

[kms]

Just my 2 cents, an option you could consider: some people have open relationships in which both of you set the boundaries as to what's ok and what's not ok. Some couples may be perfectly ok with each other (or just one) having sex with others, especially if there are sex drive differences or if either or both just want to experience something new but keep the relationship they already have. The key to open relationships though is complete honesty at all times and both partners agreeing to the other's activities.

If there are relationship issues and you're feeling sexually frustrated though, this is a different situation and an open relationship wouldn't fix things, it would only make things worse. So it's important to really evaluate what the real problem(s) is/are and make the appropriate decision based on that.