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  • tigerlily
    Junior Member
    • May 2009
    • 2

    embarrassing!

    So I just started dating a guy a few months ago, and he is perfect. We get along great, and we have been having sex. I have dated and had sex with several guys before but I have never had this particular problem. Lately when we've been having sex, I have been queefing a lot. Loudly! It is mortifying. I know that he loves me, and it shouldn't matter, but after the last time I have been hesitant to have sex because I am so embarrassed. I have queefed maybe three times EVER before this, but now it happens all the time. I am wondering if has anything to do with the fact that he is not circumcised? I have no idea. All I know is that I wish I could do something about it. And he tries to be helpful, but his comments about it just make me feel worse. I said "ugh! its so weird! I can't stand it!" and he says "I know its gross, but its fine". What! That made me feel worse. And now I feel like the anxiety about it is making it happen more, and making me enjoy the sex significantly less. Does anybody know what I can do?
  • amaranthine
    Senior Member
    • Apr 2009
    • 118

    Are you trying new positions? Perhaps switching this up will effect how much air he pushes into you. Keep this in mind: when a girl queefs during sex, it's not her fault. A man pumping in and out is sure to push air in there, and it's going to have to come out. It's unavoidable for the most part.
    Him not being circumsised might be why he pushes more air into you than past boyfriends, but I can't say for sure, as I've never known a guy who wasn't circumsised.

    Just relax. Queefing is normal. It happens to all of us. Maybe the next time it happens, joke with him, like say, "well then don't push so much air in there," because really, it's his own doing. A real man is not bothered by queefing, and it seems from what you say that he is not bothered by it. Just don't draw attention to it. Ignore it when it happens and enjoy the rest of your time together.
    That's what I do. I queef now and then. It happens. But when it does, I ignore it, and so does my boyfriend. It's no big deal. It'll only be a big deal if you make it one.
    sigpic

    Comment

    • Hopeless Dork
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2008
      • 4255

      It's his technique, not your vagina. So first you need to not blame yourself. Not that you need to blame him either.. but defintely don't let yourself feel responsible for it. As you have said you didn't experience this with other lovers, he is likely thrusting to quickly and letting his penis come out too far so when he comes back in he's pushing air up inside of you. The air must expell , it has no where to go.

      Try changing positions, you on top, you will notice it doesn't happen. When he is on top, wrap your legs around his back end and hold on to him to control how far out he thrusts. And if it that is too uncomfortable for you to do... turn the fan on, crank the tunes and make some verbal noise to distract

      I can't say I don't understand your embarassment... I had an anal queef one time right after anal sex... some might consider that a fart.. but it was not. It was just like a queef - when he pulled his penis out of me the air he'd been pushing in came out with it - LOUDLY. Mortified, I was. He acted like he didn't hear a thing, even though it was loud enough for the neighbors to have heard it lol.
      Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

      Comment

      • tigerlily
        Junior Member
        • May 2009
        • 2

        thanks guys
        I feel a lot better. I knew it wasn't my fault because it wasn't a problem before, and I knew that it wasn't any sort of awful irreparable problem, but it's nice to hear that from other people. I think the thing that really bothered me about it is that I am significantly more experienced than my boyfriend (we never talked about it, but I am fairly certain I was his first partner), so I knew that it was not a big deal or anything, but I'm not really sure if he knows what is going on when it happens haha. I don't want him to think I'm weird or gross, when it's something so normal and a result of his moves I'm definitely going to get him to try some different moves and quit letting so much air in, and hopefully figure out how to make it stop haha.

        Thanks again

        Comment

        • x.st.angel.x
          Veteran Member
          • Apr 2009
          • 1479

          This happens to me every single time i have sex with my new boyfriend. Im cool with it and so is he but i can tell you this...its definately his technique because i have never had it happen to me with other men and it could possible be the fact that he's uncircumsized as well. Hope that helps

          Comment

          • WildChild
            Banned
            • Sep 2008
            • 14142

            Start doing kegels. If you can get a kegel master or some other product for added resistance (makes a big difference) You'll be tighter and get less air. There are lots of other benefits too!

            Comment

            • Hopeless Dork
              Veteran Member
              • Dec 2008
              • 4255

              Good Point Wild child. And let me say this.. I use to think kegals were not so important. When I first started having sex with my boyfriend he would slip out a lot. I hadn't been sexually active for a long time before him so I wasn't as toned in the vagina I don't think. I thought at first it was my wetness causing him to slip out, or his technique. But I started doing kegals anyway, just in case.

              Within the first month I noticed a difference now half a year later he never slips out, the fit is tighter than ever despite how wet I get. So I guess I can thank kegals for that. They aren't too much trouble to do and they do make the sex better.
              Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

              Comment

              • Talitha
                Member
                • Apr 2009
                • 17

                Originally posted by Hopeless Dork
                I can't say I don't understand your embarassment... I had an anal queef one time right after anal sex... some might consider that a fart.. but it was not. It was just like a queef - when he pulled his penis out of me the air he'd been pushing in came out with it - LOUDLY. Mortified, I was. He acted like he didn't hear a thing, even though it was loud enough for the neighbors to have heard it lol.
                I know all too well what you mean. Mine continued on for the rest of the day... Major embarassment, lol. I'd rather be queefing during sex than have an anal queef the whole day and people (I.E. HIM) thinking it was just me farting uncontrollably lol.

                Comment

                • youknowyouloveme
                  Junior Member
                  • Sep 2009
                  • 1

                  queefing

                  I "queef" every time I have sex. is this weird? is there a way to stop it? I really want to know how to make it go away if possible.

                  Comment

                  • caterpillar79
                    Veteran Member
                    • Mar 2009
                    • 3895

                    Give us a more vivid description as to how you do...

                    Comment

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