[Siobahn]

My fiance is upset because half the time we cannot have sex (I am sick/tired/have cramps/period) and the other half the time I get really really sore before he finishes.

The soreness is his main problem and I'm not sure what to do. It's not an infection or anything else down there. It's note menstrual related because it can happen any time of the month.

I am currently on Yasmin birth control, but the soreness has happened for years before I started the pills.

Any help?

[Ms A]

Question

Do you feel excitement at all? Do you enjoy sex? The foreplay, the beginning of it? Have you ever been able to climax?
I am asking these questions because soreness might be caused by dryness; and dryness - very easy by lack of sexual joy.

[Phoebee]

Some of us don't lubricate as well as others. And in my limited experience some men are much more gooshie then others. The answer is really simple. Find a lubricant that you like and make it a part of your sex life. We ordered one of those "sampler" packs (like an eon ago so don't ask where) and got like 2 dozen little pillows of lube. We tried them all and decided that the best one for use was called "Probe" which sounds like some kinky weird stuff but...

Check it out. Very medical and safe. No weird taste or sticky gummyness.

The light and silky type is what we prefer for vaginal intercourse. The thicker stuff is good and if you ever do anal sex that would be better.

Good luck! I hope that this helps...

[Siobahn]

Do you feel excitement at all? Do you enjoy sex? The foreplay, the beginning of it? Have you ever been able to climax?
I am asking these questions because soreness might be caused by dryness; and dryness - very easy by lack of sexual joy.

Yes I do, I enjoy it a lot. But I still get sore, often right when it gets good.

[Ms A]

I only asked those questions before making any suggestions to make sure that was not the issue. Didn't mean it to sound like I was absolutely sure that was the case.
Then, I guess, previous response pretty much provides a solution? Good lubricant? My friend had similar thing - she could be excited very much but still not produce enough moisture. And I think it's very common, as I read about it a lot on internet. I, for example, do get sore in certain positions even though, just like you said, I enjoy. So I always have lbricant on hand for those situations.

[Autumnbinature]

I have exactly the same problem. It is so bad we dont do it like that anymore I hated being scared of having sex. we do other stuff but I am still trying to repair the damage mentally and get back into being together. Coconut oil might work for you. It helped me but not enough.

[amaranthine]

Is he perhaps pumping too hard? Do you still get sore if he takes it slow and gentle?