[Iseulda]

Call me crazy but I do not understand this need to own a partner's masturbation.

Masturbation and sex are not the same thing.

I can understand if a partner is masturbating compulsively to the detriment of the relationship but if it is a question of blatting out a quick one I just don't see how it takes away from sex between loving partners.

Men need to ejaculate regularly to keep healthy down there. For many women masturbation is key to achieving orgasm during sex with others. Fantasy is just fantasy - acting on it is hurtful, but there is nothing about a fantasy that means you have to act on it. Half of my fantasies I would never do in real life.

Masturbation is healthy and normal and necessary and sometimes private - that doesn't take away from love and sex with another person.

[amaranthine]

The only way I can see you confessing like you want to and getting rid of the double-standard is if you also say that the only reason his masturbation bothers you is because it is to porn, and not thoughts of you.

I told my boyfriend that I don't care how often he masturbates, so long as it's not to anything but me, and given that it doesn't take attention from actually having sex with me.

I personally can't relate to masturbating two to three times a day, but I can relate to wanting for sexual attention. Most of the time when I crave that kind of attention, I can also be sated by just doing something special with him - like going out to dinner, going to a theme park, the beach, etc. Just us.
Maybe more closeness can quell the need for physical sex as often? I don't know, I'm not expert. Just my two cents.