[Beckie]

Hello everyone, So recently I began seeing a guy in my neighborhood and the whole situation is making me SO frustrated.

My problem is, he seems VERY reluctant to get physical with me. We have frequently been hanging out and making out, but beyond that he gets very nervous. I have openly expressed and attempted to move forward sexually with him but he gets strange.

At first, I thought he wasn't interested in me but he continues to ask me to hang out. Clearly,he likes kissing, but he seems so afraid to even move his hands from my waist. WHAT should I do to move things forward? Honestly, I would love to go down on him but he even seems nervous about that. I tried talking to him about it all but he just didn't know what to say.

I am trying to be patient, but we are over 20 years old and I just don't know what to do. I am not sure if I can handle this man being a "virgin" in every sense. I myself am a virgin sexually, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to feel pleasure in other ways (through oral etc). In fact, I would love to have sex with him soon. BUT he is so reluctant, as I said.

Please give me some advise ladies, I just feel so sexually frustrated! How can I make this easy without him feeling nervous!?

[SinisterUrge]

1. maybe he's incapable of reading body language. Go ahead and ask "Would you like to go to the bedroom and have sex?"

2. maybe he has STI/STD and can't bring himself to tell you, but also can't call it quits either.

[Beckie]

I don't think its an STI problem, I feel like maybe I intimidate him... Im just not sure. Maybe he is afraid that I am more expirienced than him. How can I ease him into this! Its like, he is so stiff with me (not literally lol) - What I mean is, he hold my waist and THATS IT! He is afraid to touch me even though I move his hands to where I want him to touch me. He just takes them away.

How can I ease him into this?

[Hopeless Dork]

When you guys are in a private setting, calm, relaxed and just cuddly... start rubbing his thigh, sitting on his lap or putting a leg around him. Once he has an erection he will probably be a little more 'easy' about letting you touch and play with him, once you get him comfortable with being touched... you can ease his hands on over to your lap and show him how to be comfortable touching you.

I am sure its nerves, if he is a virgin he is probably scared of doing something wrong, afraid of turning you off or embarassing himself... since you are the one with a little more nerve, take the inniative. I am sure once you are touching him and making him feel good his worries will fly out the window.

[Beckie]

Okay, I will give that I try. Hopefully he takes to it and will get more comfortable with me

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Beckie,

Maybe he just wants to hear that you really would like him to be your boyfriend, and go beyond friends.

That you really like him, for him and then ask him, "what do you like about me?"...

Start opening the communication, if you are only talking about being touched, sex, he may think that's all you want.

Seems likes he's a respectable guy, not the usual "take" only and use and it may be that he is old fashioned and wants to "wait" for the right lady, you may be her, but he may need more time to ascertain that.

He also may feel if he touched you, he would cum as he may get sexually aroused easily and then he would be embarrased.

There are lots of reasons why he may not be going there yet.

You stated you "recently" started seeing him. Have patience then and let it take it's course and start to open the communication about the pair of you "without" talking about sex, it's obviously scaring the out of him for some reason.

CW

[SFDad]

Okay, I don't want to sound alarmist here- everyone elses suggestions were good- but is there any chance he is gay? Possibly not out of the closet gay? I hate to assume these things but I know gay men who are fine with kissing women but really have issues with all the rest.

Other than that- maybe look at this as a role reversal- many women aren't ready to rush into sex- maybe he isn't either.

In the end, probably you need to figure out some way to get him to talk about it.

[HappyUpNorth]

One other thing might be that he has a size insecurity. Combine this with performance anxiety and any man would act that way. If it is a size issue for him, make sure you tell him how much you like his size when you feel/see it. On the performance side, once he is turn on, tell him how you want to get him off manually then get him up again and proceed from there.

[rcoreyus]

My bet is on "shy". He may not be sure what to do (men aren't born knowing about sex any more than women are).