[Guest]

it sounds like your bf seems to be a good sport at it. and i think you just need to get him super arroused before you start going down town. that way he might just be a stroke away to that big O. my guy tends to like me rubbing the inside of his legs towards him. it tends to stimulate that area more. idk. that could just work for me and my guy but he really enjoys it. and when he finishes i rub that area again. (gently)

or if you are open. you can watch some porn with him. just a thought.

[hippiechick2405]

It also may be a control issue. That is what I think it is with my husband. We have been together for 15 years and I have never been able to make him come with my mouth (and I know that I am good at it!). I can tell that he gets close, but nothing. I have done the ice/hot thing, pop rocks, moaning, tea bagging, and everything else possible. At the beginning, it pretty much ticked me off, now after all these years, it's now a little "goal" of mine! He never came during a hand job from me either until 8 years after we got together. For some reason he just can't let go like most guys. No problem in the intercourse area though (thankfully!). I honestly think that he just needs to be in control of situations. Just keep trying.

[Iseulda]

I'll echo what the others have said - there is nothing 'wrong' at all. It is just one of those things. If you both relax and enjoy it without worrying too much about whether he cums or not then it may well happen one day and you'll both be delighted.

Don't let it get to you - you're dong nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong with him.

[desperate for help]

why not tell him that when he gets close you want him to materbate and spray it into your mouth to finish off most guy find this very erotic and should definetly help

women know how to get themselves off the best and so do men

[chinadoll]

great advice from everyone. Myself, having lotsa good and different orgasms from oral helped me think of different ways to give it to him. I always think what totally gets me off..well it should do the same for him. Like SFDad said, try 'holding' him in your mouth and let him be in control of his sensations. A little finger in the bottom while you give oral does the trick sometimes too. If you love to do oral, just continue to love his unit in all ways. Soft and gentle, hard and horny. It's all good. We don't make a goal of cumming, just long lovemaking and enjoying everything.

[Man]

I post on the men's health forums and saw there was a woman's health forum and came over to spy on what you ladies where talking about. Then I saw the sex section and of course I had to see what was being said.

But I thought I'd sign up and post after seeing this thread. This was the case with me too. There is nothing wrong with you or your boyfriend. I couldn't cum from a blowjob or handjob with my partner either. I think a large part of the reason is most guys are used to being in control of their orgasm. They hit puberty and start masturbating and have complete control. During sex they have some control as they are thrusting and moving around. But to let a woman fully take control of an orgasm, I guess is difficult for some men. And when I was with my partner, it would be going on for a long time and she would be getting frustrated and I could tell she was getting frustrated which made it awkward.

How we eventually made it happen was I showed her ahead of time how I wanted her to give me a handjob and how I wanted her to give me a blowjob when I was at that point where I was close to cumming. I showed her how tight to grab and suck and how fast to move, etc...(communication is a good thing, not enough partners tell each other exactly what they like)
I would get close to orgasm through sex and sometimes masturbation...to right before the point of no return, at which point she would do it they way I asked. We tried a few times and I was able to let her finish me.

We did this for a couple weeks, me getting close and then letting her take over to control the orgasm. After a couple weeks I no longer had any problem. I guess my mind and body got used to allowing her to be in control through this method. I guess it was a psychological thing. Afterward she was able to give me handjobs and blowjobs from start to finish and when I'd get close she'd know it and do it the way I liked it..

Thought I'd share this with you and good luck.

[AlleyWay]

This is not a big deal head to some guys can just be the appetizer. It's nothing wrong with you at all. A good idea would be to while having sex when he is almost to that point you can give him oral then and he should cum.

[Lovin Every minute]

All guys are different. Men love to watch. Be in front of him on your knees. Also, try a small amount of lube on your hand as it feels better than spit. Start licking/sucking his testicles and work your way up while stroking slow and firm. My man likes that with a twisting wrist action also. He prefers after I have my fun doing what I want to then just concentrate on working the head of his penis and increasing the hand movement. Works every time!

[Meltd0wn]

Re: Unable to achieve orgasm from oral sex

From a man's perspective, I think I can shed some light on this. I'm 48 years old and have never been married which means I've had my share of sexual partners, and then some. I'm not presenting that information as bragging rights, simply as a basis for my opinion based on experience. As women know all too well, some men just cannot perform well in the sex department and need lessons from a patient woman who is willing to show the man what, how, and when she likes certain things done. By the same token, many women have the opinion that all they need to do is close their mouth around a man's penis and magically, the man will have an orgasm. Like it or not girls, the man's orgasm is a bit more complicated than that. It's more between the ears (in the brain) than it is the penis. The sex organs are simply tools of the brain and the brain is where the real stimulation is. If you make your partner feel uncomfortable or your partner makes you feel uncomfortable, they/you won't be able to "let go". The women that I've been able to orgasm with from oral sex where the women willing to allow me to stand in front of them and hold their shoulders while I thrust into their mouth. It's the only way I could gain the muscular contraction necessary for me to get off. It also allowed them the freedom to lean back if they needed and it afforded me a great visual of the woman moving and allowing me to get off. Remember, it's in the mind. Visuals, power, submissiveness, cooperation, acceptance, those all play a part in helping things along. Her hands are free to rub my testicles, play with my penis, hold my hips..etc. Some men are also more sensitive than other men. That's just a given. Some women are much more sensitive clitorally than the next. I've had girlfriends who could cum simply from lavishing the clitoris and vulva with the tongue to others who needed the power of a Hitachi Magic Wand to have a clitoral orgasm. Some of them easily had vaginal orgasms from intercourse while others preferred anal sex. If I'm laying on my back, the woman can orally pleasure me until the sun rises and I won't be able to cum. It has always been that way since the first time I received a blowjob. That doesn't mean I don't like it, however. It keeps me hard and keeps me wanting more but it won't bring me over the top. Ladies, don't be afraid to let the man use your mouth. You're both there for pleasure and sometimes you have to take turns giving. I for one love concentrating on a woman's pleasure and making her cum so many times that she's a sweaty mess begging for mercy. If you can do that to your woman, she will probably let you do whatever you like, and love doing it for you. One last trick, I had a GF that loved tasting herself on my . That really helped as I was able to almost cum during intercourse and then I would hop up and she would attack my with her mouth. The orgasms were, to say the least, intense! She loved the taste of herself and my cum together and the act itself made us both giddy with the shared emotion. She loved the power she had over me and my and I got off on the fact that she would allow me to finish my orgasm in her mouth while she grabbed the shaft and jacked me back and forth. There are many ways to facilitate getting off orally. If it feels good, do it and tell your partner it's okay. Let your inhibitions GO and you WILL get off. Okay, I really need to call a girlfriend now after sharing all of this with you! I hope it helps.

[sheriac5]

After 17 yrs of marriage my husband has had trouble reaching orgasm from oral sex, i almost always have to manually give him a handjob while preforming oral for him, he has never had a problem cumming during sex, and he loves my nightly handjobs i give him before we go to sleep, unless we have sex of course.