[Swiftus]

Here is how pathetic I am:

I didn't realize it wasn't in (I was 16 or 17). I assumed it was.... Apparently I slipped out and never knew it. I came after making love to her thighs, I guess (after a whopping 2 minutes).

[Guest]

wc: It amazes me how strong you are. you gotten over that and are able to enjoy and see the positive side of that. And how strong people really are over coming things that are thrown at us.

[WildChild]

It has, I think, made me a more compassionate person. I really do feel sorry for those guys. I was a vicitm and have had to deal with that. They did it and have to live with that. I don't think any of them were really the type who wouldn't be bothered by it at some point.

[ginger22]

Wow. I'm so sorry about everyone's bad first experiences. I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings or open up new scars by creating this thread. =/ But I'm glad you guys have overcome those bad situations. I envy you for being so strong and people can definately learn from your stories. =)

[Abi]

Wow, reading these first time experiences have made me really grateful for mine.

I had plenty of friends who were sexually active at school and I knew that only one or two of them had enjoyed their first times (those who had dated the guys for many months previously) when they started so young.
I rarely dated because I was perfectly happy to be alone - something my friends could not understand. When I did date, I had plenty of opportunities to have sex, but I was very firm that I didn't want to have sex with someone I was not in love with.

I waited until I was 18. Although 'waiting' makes it sound like it was something that was pressing on me to be done, which is not the case.

I met my (now ex) bf at college. He was 16 years older than me, which was great because I was always kind of old-headed. We flirted constantly. Later he told me he thought I would never go for a guy in his 30's, and often worried about his attraction to me.

We went out as friends a lot, and he gave me a key to his place, so I could come and go as I liked, or stay and make myself at home while he was working (as a mature student, he had a job and studied).
We would often go out and then go back to his place or mine, staying up night after night talking and laughing together, but he never even tried to kiss me. Sometimes he would play with my hair while we talked, but I was starting to be convinced he just wasn't interested in me that way.

One night, after about 3 months of this, we went out with a group of friends to a bar. I had found out a few days earlier that my parents were divorcing, and my mother was having an affair. I was feeling pretty low. Somebody in our group said something insensitive and I lost my temper which was unusual for me. I left, using my key to let myself in at his place. It seemed natural that I should go there when I was in need of comfort, rather than go home.

He arrived home a few minutes later, having made my excuses to our friends. He found me sat on his bed with my head on my knees. He took one look at me and pulled me against his chest to cry. When I calmed down, he kissed my head and wiped my cheeks with his hand, and suddenly we were staring at each other really intensely. He looked away, and seemed uncharacteristically shy. Then he said "I have a question..." I waited. He said "You... and me... um... what would you think if we were something more?" He looked like he was expecting to be slapped. I just smiled and said "I think that would be a really good idea." He looked so surprised I burst out laughing, and he laughed too and kissed me.

We'd been waiting so long to touch each other that things got hot and heavy pretty fast. He asked me if I was a virgin, because I kept trying to tell him and losing my nerve. I said I was, and he tried to slow things down, to pull away from me, but I was very insistent that I wanted him. He took his time with me and made very, very sure I was ready before entering me. It was wonderful.

We were together 11 years and had a son, and although we are now separated, we are still good friends.

I feel so bad for women like WildChild who had such a horrible time, and I tell my story just so that any young girls that may be reading these and wondering what they should do will see that the men REALLY worthy of being with you are those that would never ever push you or pressure you. Those that will care for you and make your first sexual experience one that you can look back on with pleasure, not pain or mortification.

[Steph33]

I had to try 3 times to get the deed done my first time. I was one of the few with a big chest in 9th and 10th grade so a lot tried. Guy I finally picked first we tried twice. Both times as soon as I pulled my sweatshirt off with no bra underneath he "lost it all" in his pants before we did anything. Did it the 3rd time I tried with a different guy, but like most it wasn't anything great (for me) the first time. Guys that age don't last long. Really over before it started. Didn't really have what I'd call good sex till my mid-20s.

[Jersey]

I just joined this site and already love it... It makes me feel much less alone about confusing love/sex things..

My first time was... non-existant... We were in my bed in my house.. I skipped school, he had already graduated.. I'm pretty sure I actually asked if it was in, which now I think about and is terribly embarassing... He was in me for about 5 seconds before his nerves got the best of him... Even with him above me, I could hear his heart pounding it was unbelieveable... We stopped it there and just spooned for half an hour before I drove him to work.. We had been going out for 6 months and promised each other, pinky swore, no regrets... We had a solid 2 year relationship, then a year of on/off.. He's my very best friend now so I guess I lucked out

[WildChild]

Hummm. there does seem to be a common theme of first times not being too great - it's a wonder we all stick with it long enough for it to get really good!

[golden_nemesis]

My first time wasn't great, but it wasn't the worst experience in this thread by a very long shot.

I had my first boyfriend in senior year of high school for all of two months. We had made out a lot, heavy-petted, he had fingered me, I had rubbed his penis all clumsily, but that was the extent of what happened before he broke it off. TO this day, I am still incredibly grateful to him because he was so gentle and non-pushy throughout the whole process. He was my first kiss, and I still cherish the memory of that sweet autumn afternoon where I got my first kiss, all soft lips and caressing tongues. I do kind of wish we had been together long enough for me to have my first time with him.

Instead, I lost my virginity a year later to a man who just wasn't worth it. I was 18, he was 22. He was one of those guys that thought he was incredibly insightful and dynamic and interesting and, according to him, fantastic in bed. He had me convinced of all that for a while, that he was God's gift to women. We had only spent time together a couple of times before I left college to go home for almost a month for Christmas break. When I got back, he met me at the train station and came back to my dorm with me. We had talked a fair amount while I was gone, and I was horny as all get out, but still scared and not at all sure I wanted to go all the way with him any time soon.

When we got back, we immediately started getting hot and heavy. I should have known things would not be so great from the way he kissed me. It seemed like he was trying to eat my mouth, chewing on my lips, slobbering all over my chin, then rubbing his stubble into my sopping wet skin so hard that he left friction burns. We were down to our underwear, and I kept guiding his hand away from trying to pull my underwear off, when he proposed that he be in charge of my underwear and when it came off, and I be in charge of his. I agreed, having no intention of taking his off any time that night. Of course, mine came off immediately. He starting fingering me, then told me to **** his finger.

After a few minutes he told me to stop and complained that I was hurting his wrist and that it would be much better and easier for him to use his penis. I was so incredibly wound up at this point I wasn't thinking very clearly. and so finally gave in. It was short and not all that sweet. It felt ok, but I knew in my heart it could be so much more. We had sex a couple of more times over the next two weeks, then he broke it off with me. I was a bit angry, felt used, but quickly decided I was actually glad that I had my first time over and done with, and I could get on with life.

We talked every now and then, he was trying to be my friend still for some reason, but I figured out that he was a social misfit because of his character flaws, not because the people around him were buttholes, which was what he was always claiming. He'd beg to come see me every few months, and I'd grudgingly say yes because I actually felt sorry for him, he was so desperate for friendly human contact, though I always kept myself distant. A couple of years later, I had not had any further experience sexually whatsoever, and I was getting crazy horny. I called him, told him that I wanted to have sex with him, but made it very clear that I did not want a relationship, and that I would be using him simply for release of sexual tension.

Of course, he leaped at the opportunity. It was a little better than those first few times we had done it, but still weird and not all that wonderful. I wanted to give him oral, something I had fantasized about for a long time but never done. He let me do it for about a minute before he stopped me and said he didn't see the point because he enjoyed vaginal sex and thought oral was a waste of time. Needless to say, after he was done and I was far from orgasm, when I asked him if he would perform oral on me, he said "I just don't do that.

It took another 3 years after that before I had sex again, that was about a year ago, and since then I have discovered what a true joy sex can be with the right person. My advice to other women is not to stress out so much about the first time. I am very happy for those who have wonderful first time experiences, you are so lucky. But for the rest of us, the first time is just the first time, there will be many more experiences in front of you, and it will get better and better.

[M&Ms]

I lost my virginity to a sorority dad in an Alpha Chi Omega house. I wasn't part of the sorority, but I was dating the dad in the house and one night we decided to try it--it was the first time for both of us. We were starting to go at it when his door burst open and about 8 of his sorority girls ran in, high/drunk, giggling like crazy...