[sanity47]

Hi!

I was jsut wondering if anyone knew of how to get alittle more confiendce in the bedroom. I've been with my bf for 3 years and I'm still shy unless I've been drinking, but when I haven't I would like to be more confident and wild in the bedroom, but I'm always so nervous. I dont even make moaning sounds or anything, it just feels silly and weird, I'm so quiet and during sex it always quiet (then I begin to think my what ifs). I would like to just jump on my bf and start making out with him, but them I think what if he dosen't want to have sex, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if he pusses me away. I'm always thinking. I just want to make sure I'm not being stupid about anything or I want to know that I'm doing it right.

Hi
Diamond. Please correct me in I am wrong.. Cause I can be !!!
I kinda get the impression that you are younger and this may one of the first sexual reationships???
I am not going to lecture. But.. if you only have sex when you are drinking you develope that habit and that be the only you can. And if you drink too much you won't remember So maybe just a little less each time so that you don't depend on it.. .Dont over think it.!! or try to hard.. There is no wrong or right way. ( unless he is clueless) LOL..but I think that you really would benefit if find some confidence your self first. Fiurge out what you want as well. and remember its not like its the movies all the time in real life..

[Steph33]

Talk about it. Somewhere not in bed. A discuss, not a get worked up for sex conversation.

My guy talked, in an almost clinical open way, about what is good, bad, likes, doesn't, for a LONG time before we 1st did it. And he covered it ALL. He had no desire to be with someone not compatible and wasn't into a couple bangs and gone. Looking back it was a good thing. But drove me nuts at the time and my vibrator was working overtime before I finally took him after a lot longer time than I ever waited in a relationship to have sex. He could, and can, just stop and get dressed when totally hard, I admire him for that so his brain is in charge till it is right for him. Some of the stuff we talked about, rather he did, in a calm collected way got me so worked up he's lucky I didn't assault him in public.

The few things he must have to be happy, other men in my past didn't care about or want. And what a lot of men expected or wanted done or to do, he couldn't care less. I get a lot more and a bigger "off" from the 1st time on knowing what is in his head (the one on his shoulders) when he does something or I do something to him. You can only get that from communicating.

Just ask him to name 5 anythings that would get him cranked up or would make him have to cum. I'm sure a couple you'll be OK with. Trust me, most women have a lot more control than men in bed as far as quality but don't know it or use it.

[WildChild]

We did this too, almost a laundry list. Do you.... Have you ever.... Would you....What do you think of....? It established some parameters from the start, made the don't go there's clear and built trust. Good thing to do in a neutral setting.

[irlg]

Here's different advice from the others

Hi - I would try masturbating and bringing yourself to orgasm and fantasize that you're wtih your bf. Practice enjoying yourself, making noises or breathing loudly. Get used to yourself in this stimulated state. Do it every other day for a week or so. Then be with your bf and see if you can replicate the feeling with him. It sounds like you;re just not used to envisioning or hearing yourself in this stimulated state! Get used to it! Then try wtih him.