[happy ending]

On 60 minutes recently there was a story on sex, i didnt watch it but it has caused a controversy. apparently the sex specialist they interviewed said if the man had a higher sex drive, the woman should sometimes give them sex, even if they didnt particularly feel like it, just to make them happy. I suppose like it was years ago when "nice" girls didnt enjoy sex. I was just wondering how other posters felt about this!

[OG612]

If one partner's sex drive is (considerably) higher than the other's, then the unfulfilled partner's chances of seeking that physical satisfaction elsewhere is drastically increased.

Do I believe that a woman should put out just to keep her man happy? No. Because if they are both doing their job as a couple properly, then sex is just icing on the proverbial cake.

OG

[Little]

What happens if you take the gender out of this?
We see on the board a rampant problem of women whose husbands don't give them as much sex as they want. What if hubby put out just one more time a month? A week? How much happier would they be? How much less stress would there be in the relationship?
Certainly no person should "just give in." That's wrong, even sick. But think of all the other things you'd do for your partner, even if you don't particularly want to, just to make them happy. Do you want to do the dishes? Wash the clothes? Walk the dog? Watch that stupid movie? Talk to the in-laws? We do lots of things for our partners every day that we really don't want to do. To make them happy.
With moderation in view, is sex all that different?

[baja]

OG612, I hate to disagree, but sex is FAR more than just icing on the cake -- but the partner has to be into it.

Intimacy has a major impact on male brain chemistry. Could regularly be the best 15, 30, 45, 60+ minutes ever invested to ensure the long-term future of the relationship.

[rcoreyus]

I think that you should always try to make the person you love happy. Unless you find sex actively unpleasant, why not enjoy doing something nice for them. It is the same sort of thing as giving a back-rub or making dinner by surprise, or watching a movie with them that you don't particularly like.

You can enjoy things just because they make your partner happy.

[happy ending]

yes i have the same feelings on the subject as rcoreyus and little, it seems like a nice thing to make your loved one happy. it just that several people were so outspoken against it, i was wondering how the people here felt. you made me laugh rcoreyus with your comment about movies, my sweetie and i have a lot in common but our taste in movies is very different. he loves movies with explosions, car crashes and guns. i like costume dramas with lots of emotional development and not much action!!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thank god that's only with movies, Happy Ending, action that is...


In love with your Partner. Marriage? Long term?

I think if your in a loving relationship.. And, one has a higher sex drive, then yes, it's called giving and compromising..

You mentioned, they stated " on occasions" not all the time, imagine? That really would be giving !

[shweedart]

Being the one in my relationship with a higher sex drive I know its frustrating wanting it all the time...but If my bf 'gave in' then to be honest I wouldn't want it! I couldn't think of anything worse then him thinking 'Fine, just get on with it' If he doesn't want to then who am I to push him into it? He makes me happy in every other way possible so not having sex all the time...I can live with!


But in his defence, I could have sex all day every day.

[jr]

Have we now reduced intimacy so much as to compare it to laundry? Dishes? Mowing the lawn? C'mon physical intimacy is the most beautiful and amazing thing between two people that any of us can think of.

I guess I'm splitting hairs here as I believe that "sex" is an act between two individuals and physical intimacy or lovemaking is between two people who love each other.

My former partner and I went back and forth. Early on in our relationship, she could never get enough and it made for some challenging times. Later, near the end of our relationship, I could seldom get enough and I was expected to just accept the fact.

I'm not sure either should 'give in" just to satisfy the other's needs. Then again, what's the big deal? If you really love someone, shouldn't you be want to satisfy their every need?

As for the partner with the high drive not getting enough at home causing them to look elsewhere, this is definitely false. If you're looking outside of your relationship to satisfy anything, then something is wrong with your relationship. It's not the lack of sex that is causing you to look elsewhere.

[Guest]

On 60 minutes recently there was a story on sex, i didnt watch it but it has caused a controversy. apparently the sex specialist they interviewed said if the man had a higher sex drive, the woman should sometimes give them sex, even if they didnt particularly feel like it, just to make them happy. I suppose like it was years ago when "nice" girls didnt enjoy sex. I was just wondering how other posters felt about this!

Let's say the roles were switched.

The woman wants more sex than the man. The lady is a "modern" unbridled woman who knows what she wants, and the man would be a caring and loving sweetheart.

If the man wants it more - and the girl complies.....he's a demanding sex fiend making his woman into a sex slave.

Ugh - these double standards.

There are always going to be times when the desire doesn't match. Why wouldn't you want to help your lover out?