[Miya]

Sports... Guys, would you rather watch them with your friends or would you include your girl if she was really interested?

I feel like some guys kinda of feel like this maybe is intruding on their boy time?

Well both of us love cricket and soccer (aka REAL football or "The Beautiful Game")
Anyway, he goes to some matches with his guy friends and sometimes it's just him and me and sometimes it's a girls day out thing. I don't feel the need or desire to go to a game if he's going with his guy friends usually. If I do then I go and he doesn't have a problem with it. I mean to don't invite him shopping nor do I want him along if I'm going with my gf's.

[Miya]

I thought about the possibility of a porn addiction...sex addiction.....I think stress might also be an issue, and yes maybe bedroom boredom...so why can't a man admit this and then speak up and discuss this, whether he starts the conversation or his wife does?

I definitely don't have absolute answers, only thoughts. I've lived in many countries and within many cultures and by and large the men are never as large a communicator as women and I'm convinced it has to do with society's views as to how men and women "should" be. I think we're more encouraged from birth to be social and communicative and express our emotions while the guys are told that it's more of a weakness to be open and express their feelings and emotions and that they need to be tough and almost stoic in many aspects.

I really think by and large they are not to blame (though anyone can change/improve if he/she wishes to do so) but it's more of a contraint of socially-entrenched gender roles that are long outdated. Yes at one time tribes or families had to fight one another and in most cases the men, usually having more muscular strength, were the primary warriors and could carry the most but those days in 99.9% of the planet are long gone. Social-think just won't let views change as fast as reality.

[GlitterAndStuds]

Well both of us love cricket and soccer (aka REAL football or "The Beautiful Game")
Anyway, he goes to some matches with his guy friends and sometimes it's just him and me and sometimes it's a girls day out thing. I don't feel the need or desire to go to a game if he's going with his guy friends usually. If I do then I go and he doesn't have a problem with it. I mean to don't invite him shopping nor do I want him along if I'm going with my gf's.

This reminded me of a conversation that my guy and I JUST had last night... haha. Well, it was along the same lines. He was talking about his camping trip coming up (next weekend, he and a few of his guy friends are going), and they've all made it clear that it's a "man weekend". Which is fine with me because I hate camping and it's gonna be way too cold. The other guys have already told their girlfriends as well. It doesn't bother me even a little bit. I think every couple NEEDS to have seperate time and seperate activities or they'll kill each other. I love spending time with him and enjoy every single minute that I do. But I don't need to be everywhere that he is and vice versa, and we know that.

One of our friends that is going on the trip has been dating a girl since February. They haven't separated for more than 10 minutes since then (you think I'm exaggerating but no). I'm pretty sure he was planning on bringing her along until he found out it's considered a guy thing, and now he might not even go. That, to me, is very unhealthy.

This was all sort of irrelevant, but this made me think of it

[Miya]

You know I totally agree. People forget they were their own person before the began sharing their life with another. I love my husband completely but we're also mature enough to know that if we didn't get time apart, things would be less than pleasant.
Sometimes I just like doing things on my own or meditating or reading a book without worrying about what I think I should be doing or wondering if he's getting bored or whatever. (though I don't usually worry about such things 'cause it's his choice to get bored or not...I still do on occasion even so.)

[Guest]

so why can't a man admit this and then speak up and discuss this, whether he starts the conversation or his wife does?

It's not a man or woman issue....it's a personality issue.

Both sexes have difficulty talking about their sexuality.

[GlitterAndStuds]

You know I totally agree. People forget they were their own person before the began sharing their life with another. I love my husband completely but we're also mature enough to know that if we didn't get time apart, things would be less than pleasant.
Sometimes I just like doing things on my own or meditating or reading a book without worrying about what I think I should be doing or wondering if he's getting bored or whatever. (though I don't usually worry about such things 'cause it's his choice to get bored or not...I still do on occasion even so.)

Haha exactly. I've just always preferred to divide my time between him and other things. Otherwise you spend every minute with that person and you have no friends left, then what happens if (god forbid) you break up? Independence is a VERY important thing in relationships.

I think a common understanding is that when guys have game night or something, a lot of the women in those relationships (a lot, not all) take that as them saying "I don't want to spend time with you". I've never taken that as a personal thing. Gotta up the testosterone!

[mdraven380]

HAHA this reminds of this one guy i dated, pretty average man, complete gentleman, stable salary right? We dated about a good 6months.. he took me the nicest/fanciest places you'd go to for a romantic dinner, he took me to comedy shows, even a broadway.. we did a lot of incredible and new things.. SOOOO once we seal the deal in.. all we really did was sit around the house play video games and drink beer and pass out .. =\ and when i asked him what happened he literally told me, i got you now no reason to try to impress you.. At first i thought he was joking but no this guy was dead serious. I was so disappointed.

I know what you mean and it sucks

[mdraven380]

On the bright side, you found out right at the beginning that he isn't worth your while and you probably saved yourself a disappointment down the road.

Most definitely.

[Haven]

Sports... Guys, would you rather watch them with your friends or would you include your girl if she was really interested?

I feel like some guys kinda of feel like this maybe is intruding on their boy time?

I'd definitely invite her to a day game if she got along well with the guys. Guys' night would stay guys' night, though. Even if I didn't need my boy time, the other guys still need theirs. If I brought my girl along, the guys would feel like they had to behave themselves differently, and they shouldn't have to do that on my account.

[happy ending]

okay guys i could use some insight

my man works away for two weeks at a time, a couple of weeks ago he dropped a few bombshells on me, completely changing our lives, plans etc on the phone - says goodbye, hung up. now i was gobsmacked went away and thought about it, most of the night actually. then rang him up the next day, i definately wasnt abusive or anything, but i obviously wasnt happy, not just at what he said but his delivery. anyway he didnt ring me for two days - although i left several messages. by this point i thought it was over, then he rang me and blasted me.i said why didnt you ring me for two days you knew i wanted to talk to you but he said he could reason with me when i was "like that" then a few days later, he rang up all sweet, told me he forgave me for being unreasonable etc etc??? WTF. he was fine on his week off. but what is going on.?