[kaat]

Orgasms

So of course he says I'm great. I mean, i can tell he's into it too. he moans, groans, lifts his hips off the bed, his eyes close, he grabs my hair, and thrusts harder yet no orgasm... Am i doing something wrong here? I go on top like he likes it, and i usually get a great response. But still no climax.

Could he be lying about it feeling good? Is he faking? (I mean, it looks pretty real to me.) I thought all men climaxed during sex haha...

[Texinator]

I guess my question is... does confidence really make that much of a difference?

To me it does. Confidence is extremely sexy. A lack of confidence not so much.

Sure, not all men are like that and some even like to prey on insecure women, but if he says that your confidence is more important than your weight, then you should believe him. I think it's safe to say that the extra weight is either not an issue for him or he doesn't even notice it during sex.

Of course you always have the option of trying to work off the extra weight, but you should still love yourself anyway and also project that love for others to see.

I think lots of imperfections that women are afraid are 'magnified' for their partner by sex actually 'disappear' during sex. If that makes sense..

[Texinator]

So of course he says I'm great. I mean, i can tell he's into it too. he moans, groans, lifts his hips off the bed, his eyes close, he grabs my hair, and thrusts harder yet no orgasm... Am i doing something wrong here? I go on top like he likes it, and i usually get a great response. But still no climax.

Could he be lying about it feeling good? Is he faking? (I mean, it looks pretty real to me.) I thought all men climaxed during sex haha...

I seriously doubt he's faking it. And if he's not having problems getting an erection then I also doubt he's got any medical issues. More than likely there's something psychological going on.

It's got nothing to do with you, not in a bad way at least. He may just be suffering from performance anxiety. Or there might be something else going on in his mind.

Could even stem from childhood, if he was brought up to believe that sex is dirty or filthy, and he's having trouble cumming because that would be an acknowledgment of him having sex.

Have you talked to him about it? Asked him why he doesn't orgasm?

[happy ending]

I think lots of imperfections that women are afraid are 'magnified' for their partner by sex actually 'disappear' during sex. If that makes sense..

i agree i think men have like "sex gogles" and all they see is a naked desirable woman enj oying with them, and they think "i'm da man!"

[Texinator]

Good reason to have him walking around with a perpetual boner.

[happy ending]

Good reason to have him walking around with a perpetual boner.

that could lead to perpetual blue balls ouch! - sorry couldnt resist!

[Guest]

that could lead to perpetual blue balls ouch! - sorry couldnt resist!

so don't wonder when he turns to porn! ouch, sorry couldn't resist.

[Guest]

What a great thread. This has provided some very informative, and entertaining, reading. I havent read through everything so I apologize if my question has already been addressed.
Over the past couple of years I have gained weight. I no longer have the body I used to and it has made me much more self-conscious, especially in the bedroom. My SO says it is not the weight gain that bothers him but instead it is my lack of self confidence. Its hard to be confident when I compare myself now to what I was a year and a half ago. I guess my question is... does confidence really make that much of a difference?

Dont get me wrong... I am so happy and lucky to have him in my life and I know he loves me but I wonder if he is saying it to keep me from going all emo or if thats how men really feel.

That's how men feel. Lack of self confidence is a rather large turn off.

I'm going to get murdered for this, but-
I'd suggest, since the weight is the impetus for your lack of self confidence, that you do something about it. Things will work themselves out once you get your diet and exercise back on track.

Good luck.

[happytam]

Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate all the honesty. I am working on the whole weight thing. I'm 38 now and it doesn't come off as easily as it did 5 years ago

[WildChild]

That's how men feel. Lack of self confidence is a rather large turn off.

I'm going to get murdered for this, but-
I'd suggest, since the weight is the impetus for your lack of self confidence, that you do something about it. Things will work themselves out once you get your diet and exercise back on track.

Good luck.

No reason for any flack on this really. If there is something doable, that is positive - why not? Being a healthy weight is different than becoming a walking skeleton. Self confidence covers a much wider range than just attracting dates or being willing to have the lights on during sex. People of both genders should do all that they can to have a healthy lifestyle, attraction and sex can be powerful motivators. Just have reasonable expectations.