[Steph33]

our sex is great, frequent, etc. I get more oral than the majority, affection, , all of it. All he asks for and likes I love to give, a LOT.

For whatever reason he's not into receiving oral sex. A 3 year project to get him to release in my mouth once, still doesn't ask for it even though he exloped that first time. I want the close of that but accept not a big deal for him, he likes other stuff.

Took a long time to get him to use a small anal vibrator on me, he does when I want as its for me and I love it.

But haven't had anal sex with him and want it. A lot. Tried all I can think of and need an idea or suggestion. Not a partial or larger vibrator,I want him, all of him, that way. I know it's selfish, but want him there and have him till I'm completely done. Not a 1 minute ride.

Every other guy I've known pushed for anal in a short time. We're together 3 1/2 years. A movie last night a couple did it and I was soaked wanting him, he feels it's degrading and "using" a female.

Suggestions ? I'd never deny him what we do now or threaten, don't want it that way. But do want it and find myself thinking about him taking me that way often. He doesn't drink or I'd get him drunk and take him (no I wouldn't, but sure would think about it).

Think maybe he's scared he WOULD like it and that would bother some mental view of me ? He treats me like a princess, but when I think about this about the last thing I'd be is acting like or sounding like a "princess." Would take my control to not break him with my "enthusiasm."

[Guest]

So is your concern that he doesn't ask for oral, or that he won't give it to you in the butt?

Or both?

[Chantalemma]

Tell him that you would like to try it. Just once. He is probably not wanting it to hurt you or anything like that. He did use a vibrator on you, and does he seem to enjoy doing that to you? Does it turn him on because it turns you on? If so, ask him. The worse he is going to say is that he doesn't feel conftable trying it. We did, and we don't enjoy it so we decided not to continue down that path. But now, I kind of want to try it again. I might just talk to him about it over supper tonight. lol

[-Con-]

Oh *God* my man is exactly the same. Except I am not quite fond of anal (if he approached me like that, he wouldn't have any balls left) so I'm not fully aware of it but the oral thing and this "degrading" bull-poopie is the same thing I get.

I bet he makes you feel bad for asking, right? Like you're "asking" him to treat you bad. I would suggest relaying this to him, and explaining that it's not like that, that as a couple you should explore more and in no way is it degrading to you because he's not treating you like you're just a piece of ***.

Tell him it's just something you want to try for a little while, to see how it goes. A trial run if you will.

[OG612]

Quite a few men don't like to receive oral because they've had bad experiences in the past. You've proven time and again that you give good head. Then there's the religious school of thought that says the seed is for procreation and not satisfying your thirst.

There's also the line of thought that heterosexual couples should only stick to vaginal sex.

About 20 of my students in the past year told me that they could never ask a woman to take it in the pooper. When asked, they said "that's what gay guys do and I'm not gay." When I point out the fact that I've never been with a man, but have given anal sex to about half of the women I've slept with (which is a higher number than the average man's) and point out that all their beloved porn stars do it as well, they don't have a comeback for it.

Quite a few men are simply uncomfortable with the idea of sticking their junk in the Hershey Highway.

Tell him that you want him to do this one time. If he is not happy with it afterwards, you'll drop it.

OG

[nightqueen]

My husband and I were together about 9 years before we did anal. It just wasn't something he was interested in. I asked about it sometimes, but the sex was so good it didn't really matter much. I was kind of curious though. I had done it with my boyfriend before him and liked it. But, not every guy likes anal. Not everyone is turned on by the same thing. Now we're sort of getting the hang of it though.

[Steph33]

So is your concern that he doesn't ask for oral, or that he won't give it to you in the butt?

Or both?

If he doesn't want oral thats OK, I play with him in other ways. And I doubt it's a vaginal only religion thing, he's cum or every part of me with one or the other of us finishing him. Using the anal vibrator is all my idea, I ask, it does zero for him. He is so gentle with it, asking if far enough, or more, or less, are you OK, all the time. I guess scared of hurting me or making me feel violated. He's never pushy in ANYTHING, both his nature and has a sister who was raped. Any fear look or pain look I'm sure would totally freak him out. He's a protector, so even inflicting an accident harm or accident scare would kill him mentally.

I asked him today blunt:

He's afraid he'll get to hard and hurt me or to excited and pound me to hard

He'd break down if he thought I felt "used" or "like a " should he get to excited. Guess he can't see I'd feel good too, his female friends always said it hurt, did nothing, just "for the guy." But not everyone is the same.

And like I asked, he walked away from the discussion after saying he's scared he'd like it if he came a lot and it would harm me if we did it to much. He'd wants to see my face when he releases so it feels like a give instead of take, so fear of some other way getting him off more so naturally wanting that more.

I have no idea if a LOT of anal is bad as far as muscles, other problems. And he sometimes does get an amount of bigger and especially harder than normal depending on situation, what we do, how we both feel, etc. Those times I can feel a noticed difference how he feels inside me compared to normal. Call it hard and super hard.

Maybe I should say I'd do all movement so I get as much, as fast, deep, as I want so he can't possibly harm me ? Like with him seated and me do reverse cowgirl ?

The conversation unnerved him a bit, but feel like I can push the topic a bit more. Just the start of talking about it made me want it there and now. My mind is ready to just beg and say I want to know, and if I don't like it ok (I will) but if I do like it I'll ask when I want or let him if he wants.

[WildChild]

Hmm, as far as oral, that's 75% of the time and anal, been there done that, decided he didn't like it. All I've been wanting for the past year is some kissing and foreplay - guess we humans are never happy with what we have.

[rcoreyus]

As long as your are careful you aren't likely to do any damage. Do you think he is just worried about hurting you, or could it be the .. um... mess possible problem?

I wish I knew what to suggest. There are a lot of people (including me) who don't get what they want in bed.

[Haven]

Think maybe he's scared he WOULD like it and that would bother some mental view of me ?

I think so. He clearly values you, but it sounds like he's putting you on a pedestal. He has his ideas of what people should and shouldn't want, how they'll feel and won't feel when they get it. You have ideas too, though, and when it comes to your body, your ideas trump his.

Make him understand that you're not some fragile ideal that needs his protection. You are a grown woman, resilient and ready, a woman whose cravings have gone unsated because he's been too afraid of hurting you. Does he really think you'll allow yourself to be hurt or degraded? You have too much self-respect for that. It's time he stops protecting you and gives you what you want - he needs to trust you when you tell him you can handle it.

Maybe I should say I'd do all movement so I get as much, as fast, deep, as I want so he can't possibly harm me ?

This would definitely help.