[Theresa]

Meh - I don't really see a problem with it... That's just me though. The stripping of your undies while your sleeping, a little odd, but again, he's your hubby.

I'm a personal fan of middle of the night, half asleep, can't keep hands off each other fun , so I'll wake up him and vice versa. But if I woke up to him going to town with himself, I'd get turned on and join in on the fun.

I agree with LanaBear. I personally would be flattered if i caught my husband doing that.

[Kakie]

i'm gonna have to go against popular opinion and agree with callygirlie that i find this a little creepy.. not sure i'd feel comfortable with it.. though i do accept people's points about it being a sort of complement that hes looking at you and not other people... however, it seems like it comes down to personal boundaries and if you are feeling violated, like you said in your post, then perhaps this is past your own boundary. so i'd talk to him about it, agree that he either wakes you so you can have some fun together, waits until you are awake, or atleast agrees not to undress you without your knowledge.. thats what i would do.

[Jester]

If you feel violated then there is an issue. Our feelings are what they are. Maybe you could ask yourself why you feel violated. If this is something that really bothers you tell him. Some good discussion about this could help strengthen your relationship.

If you do decided that this is something that you can't deal with, that is fine, however realize that he still has needs and may turn to porn. How would you feel about that?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He doesn't want to wake you why?

Are you timid? Do you have sexual rules as to when?

Spontaneity is a beautiful thing.. Perhaps he feels that your closed somewhat and he thinks you will be sleeping and he likes to see your crutch whilst doing it.

However, perhaps he also just watched porn and then "uses you" at that point in time?

This is where you would feel violated..

Only you can tell us now your exact sex life with your husband and therefore, which scenario you are looking at sweet.

Your getting answers based on a statement without replying as to your relationship.

CW

[Kallygirlie]

Ok - think about what you just said.

If that were true, you are essentially saying that no one in a committed relationships should be masturbating.

That is so not even what I am saying. Nothing is wrong with masterbating. I do it, my man does it but theres got to be a line drawn somewhere. Do men walk around jerking themselves off whenever the mood strikes? work, aisle at walmart? So whats the problem for him to wait a few hrs until is wife or girl friend wakes up and he can experience something better than his hand? Is it really gonna kill him to wait. Are is balls just gonna fall off. NO they are not. Is a women supposed to be his humping post for whenever the mood strikes. sorry but this isn't how it works. And for the record, yeah my man has been in the mood in the middle of the night. the big thing poking me kinda gives that away but he will not wake me up for it because he cares enough about me to want me to be well rested. Plus he knows when I'm well rested, he gets alot more playtime from me

[Guest]

So whats the problem for him to wait a few hrs until is wife or girl friend wakes up and he can experience something better than his hand? Is it really gonna kill him to wait. Are is balls just gonna fall off. NO they are not.

On that note -

What's the problem with waiting a few hours till your guy gets home from work so you can experience something better than your toy?

Is it really going to kill you to wait?

Are your ovaries going to fall out?

NO they are not.

[Miya]

On that note -

What's the problem with waiting a few hours till your guy gets home from work so you can experience something better than your toy?

Is it really going to kill you to wait?

Are your ovaries going to fall out?

NO they are not.

I agree with your point OTYA. That last comment could easily be offensive to guys when I'm sure many of us find our own release without bf or hubby.

I can see yours too Kallygirl but think your comment was unnecessary and probably stems from having somebody treat you like that in your past and projecting that anger on another. Not to be a traitor to the other women here but I don't see what the big deal is. It's give and take in a relationship. When I'm horny I want my DH and I want him right then. He's also aware that if he wants me then I'm his to have. That's our own relationship but if I didn't feel that way I'm not sure I'd want to be married or in a relationship with the guy.

I think we're also getting offtrack (all of us) from Kelren's original post.

[SinisterUrge]

Well being woken-up every night by his hand party has got to affect the quality of your sleep, and since you spend the better part of a third of your life in bed I think sleep is pretty darned important.

So tonight, a half hour before bed tell hubby that you actually want to sleep and he should take care of himself before hand. Tell him to strip and get at it while you wiggle your butt in his face (or whatever bodypart he enjoys). When he's finished you have two options:

1. You're still not turned-on; go to sleep and get your full 8 hours. No harm done.
2. You are turned-on; Let hubby show his appreciation orally before getting your full 8 hours. No harm done, you now have a CFNM scenario to enhance your sex lives on any boring wednesday.

[SinisterUrge]

CFNM = Clothed Female Naked Male. Its a genre of dominant/submissive (D/s) play.

[Katsaly]

I'm definitely in the camp of not seeing the big deal. This is your husband. He definitely didn't cross any lines established in most marriages. Yes, I think the fact that he took your panties off is a bit strange (and I imagine that could be why you woke up) but I'm in total agreement that not wearing panties to bed is a viable solution to the problem.

If I woke up to that, I might be a little irritated at my husband, but mostly because he woke me up.