[NDNICEGUY]

Wow. Sorry to hear the situation. It's not strange to me that she would want group sex, or more than one man at the same time. This is a turn on for lots of people. The strange part is that she was so distant with you. I really don't know. But I can say that being in a loving marriage, for me, means that I like to please my husband, and he pleases me. We share our fantasies together. I find it strange that she was so cold to you, and even made you use condoms for 12 years! Anyway, sounds like being divorced might turn out to be much better for you.

now that I look back on things there was never very much compromise or pleasing from her and I should have noticed more then. She was always kind of distant. being divorced is hard, lonely and funny thing is I do miss her. Sounds bad doesn't it? I think that I should have figured it out when she would never do things to/for me but had not problem kicking back with her legs spread asking me to do it to her. My bad I guess? I can't help but ask myself did I drive her into something? I did get an e-mail back from her after I asked her questions yesterday, will share some of that if interested?

[Miya]

ND, it sounds to me like she was just a taker and not a giver at all and you are better off without her. It's one thing to be single and have days when you're not happy but to be married and have those days when you feel miserable is just devastating to your sense of being and self-worth. We all miss signs from time to time because we're just not wanting to see the negative.
I REALLY doubt it was anything you did to drive her to something. It sounds like she just wanted something different.

Best wishes.

[NDNICEGUY]

ND, it sounds to me like she was just a taker and not a giver at all and you are better off without her. It's one thing to be single and have days when you're not happy but to be married and have those days when you feel miserable is just devastating to your sense of being and self-worth. We all miss signs from time to time because we're just not wanting to see the negative.
I REALLY doubt it was anything you did to drive her to something. It sounds like she just wanted something different.

Best wishes.

Different is an understatement. There must be something wrong or something in a womans mind to WANT to do those things not only once which I might understand if it was a fantasy but do have done many many times and from what she admitted to me was before we met she tried a threesome and after we were married for a while did it more times than she can count as she was not happy enough with our sex life and needed more. I told her she should have talked with me or told me but all she said was it did not and would not have mattered as I was never going to be able to give her all the sex she wanted and needed. Does she have a problem? Is she a sex addict? Although she said they first time it happened it was not planned and not something she really thought about but when things started happening that night she seemed to lose control and one thing led to another and before she knew it she was letting all the guys there have sex with her in all differnt ways

[Miya]

I'm not a professional counselor by any means (though I did study to be one) but it sounds as though she either has a very high sex drive or is using sex to compensate for some other deep-rooted issue she has (or a combination of the two). To each his/her own and maybe she really did just want to do it with that many guys at once which is something I can't even fathom much less understand.

Maybe CW or OG can give some insight as I belive one has a background in psychology and the other is a psychiatric nurse. To me though it just doesn't sound like the choice of someone who's completely in control and a stable personality. Fantasy is fantasy but sometimes those lines get crossed.

[NDNICEGUY]

I'm not a professional counselor by any means (though I did study to be one) but it sounds as though she either has a very high sex drive or is using sex to compensate for some other deep-rooted issue she has (or a combination of the two). To each his/her own and maybe she really did just want to do it with that many guys at once which is something I can't even fathom much less understand.

Maybe CW or OG can give some insight as I belive one has a background in psychology and the other is a psychiatric nurse. To me though it just doesn't sound like the choice of someone who's completely in control and a stable personality. Fantasy is fantasy but sometimes those lines get crossed.

I have to admit that I think it would be awesome to be with 2 women at once but probably not going to happen, and not something that I am sure I could do justice to as far a satisfying 2 women. If I understand her correctly before this happened the first time she used to masturbate 2-3 times a day sometimes more often, got to the point where she wanted more than that and found herself something on the side. Started with her and another man, t hen him and his girfriend and before long involved this gal and 4-6 men on a regular basis. I asked her what made her want or do it and she said it felt good, was fun and she enjoyed it. I told her that she didn't seem to enjoy sex with me, did not want to give oral and anal was absolutely out of the question so why would she do that with these other men and her response was they asked and that I would not understand.

[caterpillar79]

If you don't like his idea of sex, you also wouldn't want to pursue the relationship with him. You will end up feeling pressured and unloved later on.

You are worthy of respect and love. Find a better partner - the one who will care for you and will look after your well-being.

I myself do not see any reason to associate with such person - sorry, but just sharing my thoughts. Take care, sweetie.

[caterpillar79]

I meant the above message for the OP...( I haven't read all the posts yet...)

[NDNICEGUY]

If you don't like his idea of sex, you also wouldn't want to pursue the relationship with him. You will end up feeling pressured and unloved later on.

You are worthy of respect and love. Find a better partner - the one who will care for you and will look after your well-being.

I myself do not see any reason to associate with such person - sorry, but just sharing my thoughts. Take care, sweetie.

Can you explain what you mean by the first sentence? You can not say or should I rephrase, she could not feel loved letting a bunch of guys use her, I say use because to me that is what it is, however they felt like it? Can a woman like sex that much that she will let 3 men take her at one time and then rotate the other men in?

[Miya]

I told her that she didn't seem to enjoy sex with me, did not want to give oral and anal was absolutely out of the question so why would she do that with these other men and her response was they asked and that I would not understand.

That even more says to me she was looking for something/someone else that wasn't you if she just said you "would not understand." (I can understand anal being out of the question as some women just aren't into that at all, UNLESS she did it with out people before you) It sounds like she really had some issue that had nothing to do with you. If you really tried to talk to her and she wouldn't cooperate then you're better off without her frankly.

[Miya]

ND, Caterpillar was referring to the the original poster, Mari27, regarding her question.