[Guest]

i hope one of the guys can answer the age difference question for me , it'd help a lot!! or someoneee.

aside from intercourse but in the bedroom, he really is all about pleasing me when we do get frisky, whether its going down or giving me multiple O's or whatever it may be.... Hes a good guy i mean he takes me everywhere with him i would never suspect another girl hes very much a family /home type of guy and isnt ashamed of being seen with his woman whether we're out at a lounge with his friends , his family whatever it may be....

I've read that some people just go through phases were they can do it every day or every other day for a while and then not... he has been stressed from work and stuff....I would be comfortable with the 2-3 days a week if i only really believed that everything was okay....he says so but u know us women instincts...we know when it makes sense ad when it doesnt !!

I'm glad to hear he's attentive when he is in the mood.

I dunno....i'm 27. She's 25. We live together...engaged...We're a 10 times a week couple. Usually once a day during work days and prob twice a day on the weekends. She does have a healthy sex drive as do I.

You're beautiful- i'm not sure what his problem is.

[Katsaly]

My husband is in his early 30s, and trust me, if you are getting sex every 2-3 days, nothing is wrong! It might be frustrating for you, but if he does it more often than he can handle, it's more work than fun.

[Alba23]

I'm glad to hear he's attentive when he is in the mood.

I dunno....i'm 27. She's 25. We live together...engaged...We're a 10 times a week couple. Usually once a day during work days and prob twice a day on the weekends. She does have a healthy sex drive as do I.

You're beautiful- i'm not sure what his problem is.

10 times a week couple...i could only hope for that lol
im jealous of u i really am! ......i dont know what his problem is either...i just feell like now, i cant just jump on him and try to get him hot n bothered cuz he might be "tired" or something oldman like ....haaa.

katsaly, i appreciate your answer, and to be honest it makes me feel a lot better that you said that 2-3 times is a job well done.....

sometimes i forget im so much younger and my body is so much more ready ....

[Guest]

10 times a week couple...i could only hope for that lol
im jealous of u i really am! ......i dont know what his problem is either...i just feell like now, i cant just jump on him and try to get him hot n bothered cuz he might be "tired" or something oldman like ....haaa.

katsaly, i appreciate your answer, and to be honest it makes me feel a lot better that you said that 2-3 times is a job well done.....

sometimes i forget im so much younger and my body is so much more ready ....

H&ll yes to the sex - but be happy for us, not jealous. It was only through a lot of dedication, exploration and hard work that allowed us to get where we're at. And we're still learning.

Think he'd be open to a testosterone cream? It truly will make him a different man.

I dunno- testosterone supplement or not - I'd rather be horny than not.

Also-instead of "jumping" on him...why don't you just walk around the apartment with next to nothing on? That may be some incentive to get off his ss....

Good luck.

[Hopeless Dork]

Alba,

I was mislead into thinking, be it media or whatever that men want sex constantly that their drive is so much higher than ours etc. Not true. Guys when single, when dating seem to want it more because they don't know where or when that next meal is coming from so they seize the day....

In a relationship/living together... when they know that home cooked meal is there for the taking whenever.. their true sex drive is revealed.... which is : pretty average, and way less than imagined.

I was becoming resentful of the 2 or 3 times a week sex me and my boyfriend were having after realizing that he needed it more than that, as I saw he would look at porn on days we didn't have sex. So we had a talk and I explained to him... that if wanted sex less than me I am fine with that. I love him more than I love sex, and am a big girl and won't cry if I don't get my way all the time... HOWEVER...

If he has more sex to give me, and is holding back and using it on himself -- well that was going to frustrate me to no end. Don't get me wrong I think masturbation is fine and lovely as an extracurricular activity -- but if its taking the place of sex I could be having I am going to be hurt about it (period)

At 33 your boyfriend's drive shouldn't be done. Is he exerciszing? having a good diet? getting enough sleep? feeling stressed at work? Making sure that he is fit and getting all his vitamins and minerals, cooling down on the boosing etc... can make things blossum a little more.

Also since you have a higher drive than him, you can talk to him about ways that he can please you... even though he himself isn't in the mood for an orgasm.

[WildChild]

Alba,

If he has more sex to give me, and is holding back and using it on himself -- well that was going to frustrate me to no end. Don't get me wrong I think masturbation is fine and lovely as an extracurricular activity -- but if its taking the place of sex I could be having I am going to be hurt about it (period)

You hit the nail on the head here!

[tantrictherapy]

Hi Alba

My opinion is that the clue is indeed in the difference in your age, or more precisely simply in his age. As men get older the number of times they can ejaculate per week has a more significant impact. In the same way as he will have a much heavier hangover now than he would when he was 25, each ejaculation is a much more prominent ordeal for him now than it was when he was bursting with sexual energy in his early 20s. Ejaculation makes men lose a lot of energy which they then have to recover. They can recover faster the younger they are. Around mid 30s men are indeed supposed to ejaculate 2 to 3 times a week, or even less, to be in a normal mode where they don't feel a lack of attraction to you or lack of energy for their daily things. This is esoteric knowledge from traditional Chinese medicine. As a man loses his sexual energy from ejaculation he becomes less excited about sex in general, about you in particular, and has less energy to go about his day.

It is a situation common for many couples. It is very likely that in your case, as well as in many other cases, sex at best equals 10-15 minutes foreplay followed by maximum 10 minutes of penetration after which he ejaculates and then has to recover - for days at his age. The solution would be to look not at the frequency of your lovemaking but at the duration of it. If you have sex 2- 3 times a week but in a way that takes a long time, which makes both you and him truly open up to a powerful flow of sexual energy and you can bathe in it for a good while, then perhaps not only he will retain much of his energy, but also you yourself would be more satisfied with sex happening less frequently but deeply rather than more frequently but very superficially. The fact that he gives you multiple orgasms and orals doesn't mean that you get to fulfil your sexual potential profoundly, the female body needs relaxation and time. Another thing that would do wonders is exploration of the kind of sex where he gets to appreciate the process and doesn't ejaculate in the end. It sounds like a wild idea to many men but it is very possible knowing the right techniques. It does wonders because you have had sex and probably an orgasm while he has retained all his energy, still fancies you, and would be happy to do it soon again. He could then alternate between ejaculative and non-ejaculative sex and this way be able to have sex with you more often as well as developing his ability to pay attention to the process rather than concentrate on his orgasm and make it last longer. I suggest you look into some eastern sexual practices, like Tantric or Taoist, which explore the question of male sexual energy loss.

[WildChild]

Mixed feelings about this. I know the LOML masterbates and ejaculates at least daily, often more than once, it doesn't slow him down, he's in his mid 40s, typically works an 8 - 14 hour day at mostly hard labor and has been a martial arts expert for many years. I'm familiar with tantric theory and practice and think it contains a lot of good but I rarely take anything whole sell. This is one I pick and choose on. There can be advantages to a male learning non ejaculative orgasm but I think it should be just one part of the picture.

[Hopeless Dork]

Mixed feelings about this. I know the LOML masterbates and ejaculates at least daily, often more than once, it doesn't slow him down

Does his frequent masturbation ever create an enviornment where you feel unecessary? I know that most men will say sex, oral whatever... is far preferred to masturbation.. but I myself know that masturbation can be a pretty good orgasm and if it weren't the need for the intimacy I might not require sex as much as 'alone' time.

For guys that don't require intimacy to feel good... I wonder if masturbation can be enough for them.

My guy can tell me til he's blue in the face that porn and/or masturbation did not play a role in why we were'nt having sex as much... but ever since we talked about it our sex life has become fantastic.... he cut back on extra curriculars and wallah he wants me more..

[Guest]

Does his frequent masturbation ever create an enviornment where you feel unecessary? I know that most men will say sex, oral whatever... is far preferred to masturbation.. but I myself know that masturbation can be a pretty good orgasm and if it weren't the need for the intimacy I might not require sex as much as 'alone' time.

For guys that don't require intimacy to feel good... I wonder if masturbation can be enough for them.

My guy can tell me til he's blue in the face that porn and/or masturbation did not play a role in why we were'nt having sex as much... but ever since we talked about it our sex life has become fantastic.... he cut back on extra curriculars and wallah he wants me more..

Guys crave the physical act - women crave the intimacy. I'm sure its some sick joke from God that makes sure we work at our relationships.

You ask a bunch of girls what makes a man good in bed and the vast majority will base their answers based on their emotional feelings during the act and not their orgasm(s)....IF they even have them.

And don't believe all you hear - just as girls can give themselves amazing orgasms, so can guys. No one knows us better than ourselves.

Yes - once I cut back on extra curriculars, I focus all my energy on the woman. I truly need her more. Even my emotional feelings are more intense.

I think its something everyone should try.