[WildChild]

Researchers who have been studying sexual response and the brain and all sorts of things, have found that women are aroused by the same things men are for the most part but that many have essentially disconnected their response. It's apparently a type of "training". Probably begun early in life, "don't touch there", "nice girls don't", repeated often enough or with enough emphasis and the girl starts to disassociate from her own feelings of sexual pleasure.

They actually monitor brain activity and had women who did in fact orgasm but didn't "feel" it. The brain activity showed that it happened but they were so dissconnected they didn't allow a physical response. If that is the case, rather than nerve damage, you would have to retrain yourself. I went to a seminar this weekend on Awakening the Senses and have ordered a book on it, I'll post more about it when I've gotten a better understanding.

[sunchaser]

I am skeptcial but i will await your post with interest !! x

[Miya]

I went to a seminar this weekend on Awakening the Senses and have ordered a book on it, I'll post more about it when I've gotten a better understanding.

Please do share once you've had time to grasp it WC. I'm very interested in what you gather from it.

[THE ORIGINAL COLD FISH]

Not only has my life been affected by my mums negative comments regarding sex, but I was also in a emotionally/sexually abusive marraige for 14 yrs. I was very niave and obedient (and still am) and my ex husband used this to his advantage. I have extremely low self esteem because of this which is no doubt another disadvantage to my current situation. My ex husband used to use sex as a punishment...eg. if you don't do such n such for me, I will make you have sex with me. My self esteem was crushed and has remained that way ever since. He would force me to have sex when he was very drunk and my crying would only make him more cruel.
As far back as I can remember I have been masturbating an can achieve the O, usually no problems. However, I can't do this with a man. I am too embarrased and feel I will make a fool of myself if I try. Later partners have tried to help, encouraging me to relax and to masturbated in front of them. I just can't do that...how can I when I feel worthless. Reassurance from these partners falls on deaf ears...I know all they really want is too watch me make myself look stupid (thats what I think but I know it's not true deep down). Anyway, the way I feel is that I can't wait for this life to be over, don't worry, I'm not going to do anything silly. I just don't see the point in going through this anymore. The anti depressants stop the panic attacks, but they also leave you feeling very unmotivated and quite depressed. I have lost interest in most things I used to love doing and I have to conciously push myself to get anything done. I give up!

[WildChild]

Ya know dear there is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself. You just go right on ahead and give your self all the orgasms you can - it's good for you. There is no law that says you have to be with a man. If relationships cause you so much stress and difficulty it may be better if you just relax and create a happier, more comfortable life for yourself on your own. Many people do.

Can you talk with your doc or counselor about getting off of or reducing the drugs so you can regain some enthusiasm for the things you used to enjoy?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Not only has my life been affected by my mums negative comments regarding sex, but I was also in a emotionally/sexually abusive marraige for 14 yrs. I was very niave and obedient (and still am) and my ex husband used this to his advantage. I have extremely low self esteem because of this which is no doubt another disadvantage to my current situation. My ex husband used to use sex as a punishment...eg. if you don't do such n such for me, I will make you have sex with me. My self esteem was crushed and has remained that way ever since. He would force me to have sex when he was very drunk and my crying would only make him more cruel.
As far back as I can remember I have been masturbating an can achieve the O, usually no problems. However, I can't do this with a man. I am too embarrased and feel I will make a fool of myself if I try. Later partners have tried to help, encouraging me to relax and to masturbated in front of them. I just can't do that...how can I when I feel worthless. Reassurance from these partners falls on deaf ears...I know all they really want is too watch me make myself look stupid (thats what I think but I know it's not true deep down). Anyway, the way I feel is that I can't wait for this life to be over, don't worry, I'm not going to do anything silly. I just don't see the point in going through this anymore. The anti depressants stop the panic attacks, but they also leave you feeling very unmotivated and quite depressed. I have lost interest in most things I used to love doing and I have to conciously push myself to get anything done. I give up!

Firstly, you were told that sex was to have babies and that's it, from your Mother yes?

Then, your ex, used that, used your in-security.. and tormented you.

Then the men you have gone out with aren't understanding, more than likely you have told them you can Orgasm on your own and this, they have used, and asked you to masterbate in front of them.. If a man really saw you? He would not ask... he would give, and in that you would eventually be able to as you saw him do it, as he made you feel sexy, alive, beautiful, so your partners are "wanting" and not "loving" so you need to change that pattern of whom you are with.

A man who wants you to masterbate in front of him, is looking after himself, a man who takes you there, and allows you to slowly show yourself, through trust loves you.

Self confidence is what you need, forget the past, who he was, what he did, it's important, and keep masterbating on your own to "feel" and take a man who loves you and shares himself with you and will wait until YOU are ready to show him your secret side, that side..

CW