[iloveher]

Hello, I've been with my gf for 7 months and she's only been able to have 2 orgasms. The first one was her first, then the second one was about a week after and much better. After that, we were apart for a couple of weeks, and she started taking birth control. Since then she has not been able to have another orgasm no matter what we try (her on her own, me by myself, both of us at the same time, slow, fast, hard, soft...). She doesnt get as close during just sex because I can't last long enough. She says that she gets really really close and the feeling builds and builds, but then the feeling goes away completely and she gets too sensitive to keep going. She stopped taking birth control about 1-2 months ago so I'm hoping this had something to do with it (because she really lost her sex drive and stopped getting wet). Any information or advice?!

[shweedart]

Change ze birth control

[Mes T]

You not lasting long enough shouldn't be an issue, because even after you finish, you can continue to stimulate her manually and orally, which for a lot of women is even better than the actual intercourse part.

[blondie80]

One of two things seem to be happening here, when she has built so much and close does the rythm change? I know myself that if im nearly there and the rythm changes I can have a tendancy to loose it, second is she has actually had the orgasm and doesn't realise it. Give her a couple of minutes and let her settle down go back to kissing her or what not and start trying slowly again.

[iloveher]

One of two things seem to be happening here, when she has built so much and close does the rythm change? I know myself that if im nearly there and the rythm changes I can have a tendancy to loose it, second is she has actually had the orgasm and doesn't realise it. Give her a couple of minutes and let her settle down go back to kissing her or what not and start trying slowly again.

I'm not sure what you mean by does the rhythm change. She does start moving more like it's ALMOST there, but then it just seems like she looses it... I'm almost certain she is not having an orgasm because there are no contractions. Also, after the first 2, she needed like 5 minutes to settle down before wanting to do anything again (even kissing), but now she can just get up and continue on with her day.

[kms]

I'm the same as blondie80, if I'm really close and he changes the speed or shifts his weight or changes his position, I lose it.

Since she's still pretty new to it, I would say don't give up. It took me several months before I even liked having orgasms - at first they felt really weird and I felt really sensitive and uncomfortable afterward. My SO just kept at it, massaging me, rubbing me... and then almost a year into our relationship I finally had an orgasm during intercourse. I didn't have it every time after that, but every once in a while it would happen, and slowly but surely I got to the point where I could have one almost every time. So, she just may need some time to explore herself and get used to it. I also got a vibrator with a clitoral massager, and WOW that was an orgasm. I know now exactly what they feel like now, and using that helped me know how to position myself during sex and how to guide my SO's hands. I'd recommend she definitely try a vibrator (with clitoral massager, since a lot of women don't orgasm through intercourse alone).

It definitely took me a very long time to get comfortable with it probably because sex was so taboo growing up (I came from a very conservative Christian family), and I never, ever touched myself. My SO was the first one to introduce me to the thought that 'down there' was not a dirty, disgusting thing. I had a lot of mental barriers to get through.

[Cloudnine]

i had trouble orgasming with my guy, it seriously wasn't his fault. he's bigger than average and hes really good at intercourse. it was like a mental thing for me i was still a little self conscious about how i looked during sex, especially if i had an orgasm and i just wasn't at all focused.

what works for me: no distractions, no tv, music, just me and him. we also have a lot more foreplay before we start intercourse. i also just had to learn to let go.

after i had my first orgasm he told it was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen me do. i was pretty happy about that, i was worrying over nothing.

[PJhavinfunagain]

Cloudnine, you sound alot like me when I first started having sex. Sometimes it can take a while for girls to understand what is happening and totally let go. Definitely if I am close and DH starts to move different I can loose it.
Are you stimulating her eternally? Rubbing her clit or nibbling her breasts? Both will help.

[Texasred]

After i had my first orgasm he told it was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen me do. i was pretty happy about that...

Funny how that works!

Don't worry about how you look during sex: your guy is thinking that you're God's gift to him!

[rachel801]

It's hard for me to orgasm too, because I'm too self-conscious, and I'm distracted. Women think about 10,000 things at once, and it's hard for us to concentrate and be relaxed, unless you're an expert (kudos to the experts!) I have to be really relaxed and really into it to come.

If she's anything like me--

Try using a vibrator during sex (it's way faster and it's consistent

Try giving her a massage beforehand, or totally blow her mind by taking your time with the foreplay, kissing and caressing her in every nook of her body

Get rid of ALL distractions. Light a candle, be romantic! Women love that stuff!

And COACH her into relaxing. Remind her to relax, she's gorgeous and shouldn't be self-conscious. Tell her to concentrate on the feeling. And don't get discouraged, because she thinks she's letting you down and she gets stressed all over again.