[rach]

mkay so i my boyfriend isnt a virgin and i am. he has had sex with 2 other girls before me one being his girlfriend of a year and the other a one night stand. so i am wondering if when the right time would be for us to have sex if even having sex is a good idea, because i think i'm ready but still a little worried if i am doing the right think. i have been fingered and played with. i havent touched him and havent given him a blowjob. is this bad? should i explore and see what happens or what??

[LanaBear]

I would say explore each others bodies first. You will no when the right time is. It's different for everybody. Don't do it before you are ready and don't do it just to get rid of your virginity.

What are your plans for birth control?

[laswell89]

I agree with LanaBear. You will know when you're truly ready, and it definitely sounds like you need to explore each other and do some other sexual activities first before having sex. You say that you think you're ready but still wonder if you're doing the right thing... make sure you know FOR SURE before you do it!

[Danae]

Sex is a big deal. It is the fusing of two individuals. Just make sure that it is something you are truly ready for and it is not something he forces upon you. Sex is not something to take lightly and it can make or break a relationship. Take the time to really evaluate if this is someone you could spend the rest of your life with, if he's not, wait to have sex until you feel that way about him, or someone else. Sex can lose its meaningfulness if given to the wrong person.

[rach]

I would say explore each others bodies first. You will no when the right time is. It's different for everybody. Don't do it before you are ready and don't do it just to get rid of your virginity.

What are your plans for birth control?

i'm getting on birthcontrol when and if we start having sex. he told me for my first time that i have no choice that he will wear a condom.

[WildChild]

Birth control should be a must before your first time and the condom should be too. He has had two other sexual partners. Did he Always use a condom with them? Has he been tested for STIs?

[rach]

Birth control should be a must before your first time and the condom should be too. He has had two other sexual partners. Did he Always use a condom with them? Has he been tested for STIs?

no i dont think so i have thought about asking him i just havnt. i didnt use a condom when he was with them becasue they were all one birthcontrol. i personaly will use more no matter if i am on the pill or not just to make sure.

[rachel801]

I know this sounds cliche, but you should wait until you're sure. If you are unsure, which it sounds like you are since you've asked for a second opinion on this blog, trust your gut feeling that you're not ready.

I understand the pressure of sex, and I know that you may think you love him. But if he really cares about you, he will wait and understand. There is NOTHING that men respect more about women than her respecting herself. Men will say anything to get into your pants (I'm not saying this is your bf, just in general), and you have to be careful enough to know the difference between this and if he really loves you. Watch his actions carefully, NOT when he is horny, but normally. If he loves you, he will care about you, respond to your feelings, and care for you when you need him.

[rach]

Thanks really that helped a lot because I have gone back and forth between how I feel.

[BexP88]

Yes i agree with everyone, just wait until you are ready. I know its probably hard but I never did ask about STI's with my current partner but it turns out my ex had cheated on me and he had give me chlamydia, which untill i recently decided to check, i didnt know i even had for about 1 year. So definately its worth asking honestly. For a man to get tested for chlamydia its so simple just a urine sample, im not sure about other STI's but if he loves you, then he will not make a fuss and get the tests done for your peace of mind.

The first time is usually a little messy, mine was with a boy that was a vrgin also so was quite alot of whats going on here going on, but if hes had previous experience, more than likely he will be understanding and just help you through the first part, when you get going you'll just get into the flow

GL with whatever you choose