[RN2B]

If you enjoyed it (and it sounds like you did) mark it down as a nice memory. Just remember the old adage "its not the things you do that you regret, its the things you don't do". You only get one chance at life - enjoy it.

I agree. I had never had a ONS till after my divorce. Over the last 18 months I have had two. Once on a trip while visiting my best-friend and her husband in FLA (her hubbys best friend) and one at high school reunion.

I new they were both ONS's and I was safe, it was fun no regrets.

[caterpillar79]

I think it is easier for men to think about it as JUST THAT than women do. What do you think?

[Calicorado83]

I lost my virginity to a one night stand. It was only because I was curious, but still...afterwards, I felt a little sad because I had wanted to "go out with" the guy. (Or should I say boy, we were both still young! 15)

Since then, I have been with about 17 guys, and a little over half of them were probably one night stands because I haven't had that many boyfriends. Some of them were guys that I hooked up with on more than one occasion because we're friends, but definetly no strings attached. I don't feel like I am a ho because I don't go out seeking it, and I don't put myself out there by dressing like a ho or acting like one. I just make friends, get drunk, and go on my way and I really don't regret it, I just feel like I am having my own fun.

I have never been very religious or had the mindset that I am going to wait until we're married, or I'll only sleep with boyfriends...I just try and have a good time, I'm young, and I can do what I want.

I think it's good that you had the one night stand experience. If it makes you feel like a ho, then you know that's NOT YOU. And knowing you is definelty a good thing, especially when it comes to your sexual relations with guys and stuff. The more control of what you want, the better! Just don't regret it too much. Look back on it and learn. You know you didn't like it, so don't do it again.

[Texasred]

I think it is easier for men to think about it as JUST THAT than women do. What do you think?

I think you're wrong, but I think it's a common misconception women have, that sex is "only sex" to men.

I've had "one-night stands" that I felt bad about later, but others were great, because they turned into something more.
Including once at my high school reunion, with a woman I had known but never dated in school.

I realize it's putting the cart before the horse, so to speak, but it is possible to develop strong feelings for someone AFTER having sex with them. As my high school classmate and I did many years later. "Only" geography kept us from a permanent relationship.

- TR

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Wow you all are so right. I shouldn't let what my friend said to me bother me. It's my life and my body. I should be able to feel the way I want about what I do with it. So thank you all for making me feel better! I really appreciate it!

No you shouldn't and nor should you repeat your sensuality/sexuality to people whom "really want to do the same, but can't"

It is your body.....

Just use it wisely

[Texinator]

I think it is easier for men to think about it as JUST THAT than women do. What do you think?

I'm pretty sure that if I had sex with someone with whom I'm not in a relationship then I'd want there to be a relationship between us that's about more than just sex, even if we're not compatible for such a relationship. So I stay away from one night stands (and 'friends with benefits' for that matter) completely, cause I know I'd become attached even when I shouldn't.

[Guest]

i have had several one night stands, but the last was more than 25 years ago. at the time i was ok with all of them, however now, years later, i wish that one of them had become something more. i've had a couple of opportunities for one night stands in the past few years, but never really felt like it was the right thing to do, even if i wanted to, so i didnt.

[c.chandler]

Relationships that come from one night stands? Oh boy, that's a new topic in itself. Personally, I tend to believe that men lose respect for a woman if they give it up that easy. The chase and the mystery and the excitement of leading up to sex is completely gone. I think guys take it as "yeah, ill let anyone in here". Again, just my humble opinion.

That said, I can't say that I'd never have a ons. My only qualm with them is the disease factor. I wouldn't feel like a ho or anything but I'd be pretty worried about getting something. Also, these are different times...you could be getting in bed with a serial killer for all you know. Just risky.

[WildChild]

Some of these responses concerned me. Getting drunk before you have sex doesn't make it ok, It doesn't make it not OK either, it just means you may be making some poor choices. The fact that lots of people do it doesn't make it ok or right - it doesn't make it wrong either. But it shouldn't be a consideration really.

Having done it once and regretting it doesn't make it any more right/wrong or acceptable than doing it 100 times with no regrets.

What matters is:
1) that you practice safe sex, that means more than condoms, you need to learn about dental dams and other protections AND you need to remember that getting yourself off alone with a stranger is ALWAYS an iffy idea - no matter what the reason.

2) that you are doing it for positive reasons. Not because you are engaged in destructive, addictive behavior, not to get even with someone, not to punish yourself or someone else, not to use someone, abuse, lead on or anything like that. Really sex should be because you are horny, having fun or loving.

That's really about all there is to it.

[Mes T]

In the past few years I've come to the personal conclusion that men are very misunderstood in today's society. I grew up believing guys were shallow, only after one thing, weren't emotional, didn't care to be in meaningful relationships, and certainly had no problems with one night stands.

But I now understand that men and women are pretty much equal when it comes to these things, using each other, or getting emotional with each other, whichever it may be. Sure there are people who lean toward the extreme, but they are present in BOTH sexes, and are not at all exclusive to either men or women.

So what I'm trying to say is that, in response to caterpillar79, no I don't think it's easier for men to think of it as "just that" than it is for women.