[Fish]

My boyfriend and I of 3 years are probably going to have sex this weekend...it will be the first time for both of us (we've done everything but intercourse). It all depends on when he can get off work to make the trip home (so it may be the following weekend...). Birth control is covered; I've been on the pill for one cycle and we're planning on using either condoms or spermicidal film because we are paranoid. I have my own apartment so I'm not worried about interruptions. We have been waiting soooo long for this so obviously we want it to be special and memorable. I'm looking for tips to really blow his mind and make it the best experience it can be for both of us. Please and thank you!!!!!!!!

[Futureboy]

see this similar thread running now
Tex is usually pretty good on this subject

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/20631-1-week-visit-1st-time-everything.html

[Fish]

Yes, I already read that thread but it doesn't really apply to my situation because we are more experienced...

[Ashlee T.]

Wow, this is long awaited!! I'm sure you're both very excited. The great part is that after 3 years I'm sure you've established a very tight bond which will definitely help.

I would say focus more on the experience, the bonding, the romance, and the passion......and less on trying to have mind blowing sex. I'd say there are some exceptions, but most of our first experiences weren't mind blowing fantabulous sex. First times are usually a little awkward, even a little uncomfortable and leave you thinkin, "That's what I waited for!?", but don't get discouraged, you two sound like you have quite a relationship so with time and nurturing, you will have many awesome experiences ahead.

I like the idea of a nice bubble bath, you wash him, he washes you, you enjoy a glass of wine (to take the edge off).......really relax. Spend some time just gazing into each others eyes.....holding each other while listening to some really good music. Explore each other in a way you never have before. Don't be afraid to make eye contact. Show him that you're comfortable with yourself (that's extremely sexy to a guy). And smile.

All the rest will "fall into place". You'll feel a closeness and a bond with him you've never felt before. BEST of luck to you!!! Let us know how it goes.

[Futureboy]

Just go with the flow you love each other what can go wrong. If he has waited this long you are very special to him and I assume to you. Sex is not magic it's sex. The best sex it not technique being good or not good. The best sex is with someone you love and trust. I do not believe in good and bad in bed I beleive in compatible and not compatible. Clearly your are compatible just take the next step and it will feel beautiful. Sex is learning it will take you about a year to really get good for each other. Just be honest and open kiss and hold each other after.

Me recommending shaving, 70 guitar music, anal with a video camera will ruin it.

Out of interest 3 year seems a long time is there any reason for this that I need to consider? Sorry not very up on U.S. culture.

Wear something sexy is good, that makes you feel sexy, not dirty. I usually recomend lola luna but i think this is a bit too rude.

[Futureboy]

Beautiful Disaster, good advice as ever

[Fish]

Great advice Beautiful! I will have him pick up our favorite bottle of wine.

Haha, 70's guitar music, anal, and a video camera? Yea that won't be happening. I guess I should go look at some sexy underwear sometime this week...considering I wear "comfy" panties all the time, I think he'll be surprised to see something different!

As for why we waited so long......We made that decision pretty early on in our relationship because we thought it would be really romantic to wait, especially since no on else does it these days (of course he didn't have the same idea going into our relationship, but over time he accepted it because frankly, he knew that I was worth it). Of course it has been hard at times (no pun intended), but I wasn't on birth control so that was a huge reason we've been able to hold out for so long. Now of course...we are 500 miles apart going to different universities. Over the last few months we have changed our mind, mainly because it will be 5 years or so before we will be in the same city and able to get married (originally we thought we'd get married when we finished our undergrad degrees- 3 years max! Now we're both going for PhD's...) So not only is it unrealistic for us to be 28 and still virgins.....we've shared everything else and feel that this is an important next step in our relationship; we have no reason for waiting any longer as we know it will be just as romantic now.

[Futureboy]

Chris Martin was well into his twenties before he lost his virginity and Gweneth seems pretty happy with him.

He is one h ell of a guy for waiting and you must be one h ell of a girl to wait.

Yes if you where comfy undies then this seems a safe bet to get his pulse racing is you get something more sexy I recommend:

Get yourself waxed brazilian nothing too much, about two days before. It will hurt but less hair round your entrance will make it more sensitive for you, he will probably like it, and spend a little more time down there.

Buy some underwear (black never fails) with a see mesh type panel at the front. You dont have to got thong unless you want to. Think of the underwear as a picture frame to the art that is your body. Hence panties frame you downstairs as a bra, chemise or what ever frames your top half. Don't wear stocking for your first time it might make you feel a bit sleazy. There's plenty of time for that later. Make sure it's comfortable and makes you feel confident. What ever you like he will love it

good luck. I hope the future is bright for you

[caterpillar79]

see this similar thread running now
Tex is usually pretty good on this subject

WOW! Tex is a highly recommended sex coach now, huh?

Will he be the first male WH sex consultant? Hmmmm....


Fish, I am happy for you! It will surely be very special. And yes, Tex is the man for this job! LOL!

[Texinator]

WOW! Tex is a highly recommended sex coach now, huh?

Guess you haven't heard of my Clitical Thinking business yet, huh?