[rcoreyus]

One of the reasons I think the OP should solve this quickly is that as the years go by you can't just put someone out the door - and don't want to. You build a lifelong relationship that you don't want to give up for a single issue - no matter how important. Of course that issue is always there in the background casting a cloud over everything else. If the issue is sex, the temptation to find it somewhere else becomes a problem.

[danceintx]

Sounds to me like you have an answer as to why she does this. But unfortunately, when it comes down to it, you can't MAKE anyone do anything. She has to want to change this. The only thing I can see to do is counseling, if she is willing to really try to change this.

[manspoint]

Just FYI - A partner that is not willing to satisfy your sexual desires, and that selfishly leaves you out of their own sex life isn't much of a partner at all...is he/she?

Good luck to you.

Concur completely. Love making should be about receiving pleasure by pleasuring your partner, who in turn gets pleasure from you and pleasure from pleasuring you and around and around the pleasure goes. No-one in love should feel left out, compromised, inferior or otherwise in sex or life as a couple.

Much communication needed here and if nothing changes ask yourself "Do I want to live like this for ever?"

[StillLearnin]

One of the reasons I think the OP should solve this quickly is that as the years go by you can't just put someone out the door - and don't want to. You build a lifelong relationship that you don't want to give up for a single issue - no matter how important. Of course that issue is always there in the background casting a cloud over everything else. If the issue is sex, the temptation to find it somewhere else becomes a problem.

Agree completely. Address the problem NOW. Don't wait a year, 5 years, 10 years, or 18 years (my bad). Take care of it immediately.

[admmck81]

I know how you feel man. On more than one occasion, I've been turned down for sex, saying she's not in the mood, but then she'll masturbate shortly afterwards. Normally, I am thrilled when a woman masturbates, FOR me. But when you just said you are not in the mood, come on! We've since separated, and randomly I get texts she misses my (edit). Well, shoulda taken full advantage when it was readily available!

[Ros2007]

Concur completely. Love making should be about receiving pleasure by pleasuring your partner, who in turn gets pleasure from you and pleasure from pleasuring you and around and around the pleasure goes. No-one in love should feel left out, compromised, inferior or otherwise in sex or life as a couple.

Much communication needed here and if nothing changes ask yourself "Do I want to live like this for ever?"

I completely agree with manspoint

Half the fun of sex is the pleasure you get from giving your partner pleasure.

She has to be able to understand your point of view. If she understands and is unwilling to change things then you should really reconsider your relationship.

[skipper]

When someone falls out of love, lovemaking is often the first casualty.