[newhere808]

Mrs, that is pretty much the way I took it as well. Without for info from the OP it's hard to be certain either way. I agree though, she needs to do some soul searching and figure out what her hang up is.

[ThexMrs]

Great minds think alike.

[newhere808]

Great minds think alike.

Hahah, I suppose they do

[alicat]

this man may claim to be a Christian but he violated one of the biggest things that Christians believe and that is no fornication (unmarried sex). he took advantage of somebody under his care and should be held accountable. yes, this type of thing can scar young women for along time....get counseling

[Little]

Also, because I have read the other threads I can't help but feel she took one experience (that she willingly participated in) and turned it into a scapegoat for her promiscuous behavior. I feel like this is just an excuse.

That's a pretty darning statement right there, and really quite rude. Why do you feel the need to blame this girl for her own confusion? Certainly we all must take responsibility for our own actions, but this was not a randomly chosen occasion: this is the FIRST.
Imagine someone whose care you were in, whose beliefs expressly forbid premarital sex of any kind, seduced you, knowing your beliefs were the same as his and also precluded premarital sex. Wouldn't that shake your brain up? Shake your ideas, your ideals?
And just a reminder, in our country, children (under 18) do not have the legal ability to consent. That's because their ideas and decision-making processes are not fully formed. And plainly, most people under 18 (and some over) just don't know how to say NO. Laws like this are designed to protect them, from their own curiosity and from the predation of others.
OP, I would suggest you explore within yourself what makes YOU comfortable and what makes YOU feel good. And NEVER be afraid to say NO to anybody for anything!

[SinisterUrge]

I was "under age of consent" but I consented and liked it so its not rape.

Statutory rape laws specifically deal with adults sleeping with minors. He broke the law, he is a sex offender, and apparently an **** too boot.

And FWIW "I liked it" or "I didn't like it" are not the defining characteristic of rape. Rape is non-consensual sex regardless of the victims enjoyment.

Anyway I was raised christian and I sometimes feel that experience has made sexual experiences confusing for me

Judeo-Christian religions have been confusing people sexually for 3000 years. They've gotten quite good at it.

im never commited it scares me, I take risks in sex and have had a few threesomes. Sometimes I dont know what parts of sex are ok and what parts of sex are not ok.

I'm going to suggest seeing a sexual addiction therapist. If what you're doing scares you, and you want to stop there is no shame in seeking professional counseling.

[danceintx]

Judeo-Christian religions have been confusing people sexually for 3000 years. They've gotten quite good at it.

I would have to agree with this. I was raised Southern Baptist and attended private school for about 4-5 years. And I have been told that oral sex is a sin, sodomy is a sin. None of which has any basis in the bible. Of course sex in general is bad, but once your married you have to give it up anytime your husband pleases. Cheating is a sin, but if your husband does it, it is unbiblical to talk bad about him, talk back to him, or do anything in anyway unsupportive of him. All my aunts and my mom, all very religious, have been divorced. One of them was married to a Baptist minister who cheated and left her for a Honduran woman where they were missionaries.
No offense to anyone, I am Christian, just have real problems with how the church has normally dealt with sex and marriage issues as a whole.

[newhere808]

Imagine someone whose care you were in, whose beliefs expressly forbid premarital sex of any kind, seduced you, knowing your beliefs were the same as his and also precluded premarital sex. Wouldn't that shake your brain up? Shake your ideas, your ideals?

That's provided that your example is how things played out. Unless I missed something the OP said in another thread, there is no way to know for sure what happened. I've seen highschool girls try and seduce a teacher with no prompting whatsoever, teenage girls are just as prone as an adult male to take advantage of a situation.

In my opinion there is not enough info from the OP to decide either way, and I still stand by my earlier statement, while it may have legally been statutory rape, saying that she would outright taken advantage of, and that that is to blame for her confusion, is a very premature statement. Sure the guy seems like a loser after the fact, but for all we know it could have simply been an adult foolishly succumbing to a teenage girl that wouldn't let up.

Accusations of rape ruins peoples lives, issues of consent and enjoyment are only recently being considered in the court system becuase some people in that department finally realized that an accusation of rape as as simple as a woman deciding to cry wolf. Rape is a real problem and actual rapists are the scum of the earth, but it has been waved around innapropriately for a long time and it's something that needs to be looked at with a critical eye.

[Little]

Accusations of rape sure do ruin people's lives. But so do rapes. Women who fly the rape flag when it's not applicable are just as bad as rapists, in my eyes.
Because it causes reactions like yours - the idea that any time a woman says she has been raped, it's probably false.
Quote from the New York Times in 1995:

Of all crimes, rape is the most underreported because women are afraid of facing their attackers in court and putting their integrity on trial. Indeed, even in surveys, women are apt to underreport rape.
Last week the Department of Justice released a report that doubled the annual national estimates of rapes and attempted rapes to 310,000. Justice Department officials said the increase was not due to a rise in the number of rapes, but in the way the interviewers asked their questions. In its annual crime survey of 100,000 Americans interviewers asked women for the first time directly whether or not they were the victim of a rape.
Even the new estimate may be low. Many women whose husbands or boyfriends force them to have sex will not say yes when asked whether they have been raped.

A woman on my college campus "cried wolf" a few years ago. I don't know how a person can do such a thing. It discredits and shames every rape victim. It causes women who have been raped to refuse to report, to refuse to press charges. A woman who charges her husband with physical abuse could just be doing it to ruin his life, but it is much less questioned because it does not have anything to do with sex. Hundreds of years since Victorian times, but sexuality between a male and a female still points to a faulty female.
A teacher at a high school who should be at least in his/her mid-twenties considering the time it takes to gain a degree should have the mental faculties to turn down a sexually confused and insistent student. And if you think that a student accusing a teacher of advances can ruin him/her, you should think again - it gets covered up all the time. The teacher gets sent to a new school for new victims without a word as to why s/he was fired. And it works the same for predators within a church. Even when it's true, it's just too shameful to talk about ... sweep it under the rug.

[newhere808]

Accusations of rape sure do ruin people's lives. But so do rapes. Women who fly the rape flag when it's not applicable are just as bad as rapists, in my eyes.
Because it causes reactions like yours - the idea that any time a woman says she has been raped, it's probably false.
Quote from the New York Times in 1995:


A woman on my college campus "cried wolf" a few years ago. I don't know how a person can do such a thing. It discredits and shames every rape victim. It causes women who have been raped to refuse to report, to refuse to press charges. A woman who charges her husband with physical abuse could just be doing it to ruin his life, but it is much less questioned because it does not have anything to do with sex. Hundreds of years since Victorian times, but sexuality between a male and a female still points to a faulty female.
A teacher at a high school who should be at least in his/her mid-twenties considering the time it takes to gain a degree should have the mental faculties to turn down a sexually confused and insistent student. And if you think that a student accusing a teacher of advances can ruin him/her, you should think again - it gets covered up all the time. The teacher gets sent to a new school for new victims without a word as to why s/he was fired. And it works the same for predators within a church. Even when it's true, it's just too shameful to talk about ... sweep it under the rug.

Apologies, I didn't mean to imply that a majority of women that claim rape are full of it, I simply wanted to point out that it is a very real problem, and like you said yourself it's a problem that cause people the not take real rape seriously.

I would like to point out though that things have changed tremendously since that report has been released in regards to how women are regarded in terms of their sexuality. That, and while i'm sure there is cover up on sexual abuse in certain institutions I think it depends on the area. I believe it was only a few years ago that a teacher in the midwest lost his job of a rape allegation, and even though he was aquited he was now a regestered sex offender with his picture on a website and everything. He moved states, legally changed his name, and lost another teaching job after some parent saw his picture on the registry.

Not to say your one of these people, but look at how the country reacted to that blonde lady teacher who slept with a student. A few years earlier the country lost it over a male teacher doing the same thing with a younger girl. He was branded a deviant for a bad judgement call (and he made a stupid call) she was simply chastised for the bad call, not being a deviant. Bias is a two way street with obscene double standards on both ends of the spectrum.