[empty vase]

hmm...where to start.... i want you guys to picure a nice painted wall... yh, i'm like that... emotionless.. dead, a stiff board and i just dont no what to do about it. i'm one of thse people who dont talk about their problems but cover it up and whats worse is i turn it into a joke, i'm in so much emotional pain that i'm laughing. it's reached a point were we'r tired of this no spark. to be honest, the only time we had fun was when we'd be sneaking around to see each other and even than we never got anywhere in terms of sex.. lool we had serious issues too embaressed to say.

i'm 22, he's my first, been married 5 yrs (yup 17 year old) and still in love. i've had this problem through out my marriage. its like i want to but when we get down to it i shut down so poor guy i'd be like by the end of it "well done, you did great"

for myself, i dont think i can really enjoy it till i'm happy with myself caz honestly i hate my body, my 34JJ's make me depressed, the streach marks from the weight gain when my pcos went bad is horrid not to mention sooo much unwanted hair to a point i have to put in capitals feeeMALE.i hate my size 14-16 and wish i was my 10-12. it's strange that i'm always being told how beautiful i am and always have guys after me and i know i'm beautiful yet feel soo ugly caz i know it's just a face...take the face away and than what.

so yeah.. i'm hopeless but what i really want advice on is how i can please him. ask me to be creative and decorate a house and i'll have u saying wow but ask me to be creative in bed an u'll be waiting 5 yrs. i've thought of blind folding...but have noooo idea what comes after that.how we have managed to produce a son i have no idea. i've thought of dress up.... have no idea what i do nxt. got toys.. yh it ended when it started. got a vibrator for myself thinking maybe if i tried on myself there might be a glimer of hope... aaa..no. he tried it on me... yh the wall came back. it was just too weird.

now i no what ur gonna say "talk to him" he's a goody2shoe, like the perfect husband and dad but boy we suck when it comes to that and what makes it worse is i feel shy to talk to him and even if i do.. he's just as bad as me.. he doesn't no what to do as well, i dont want to hurt his feelings eventhough he knows he sucks and he's to shy to research, he just wont.

dudes...duddets.. what do i do. i dont like to be seen without clothes i dont no how to do a strip tease. i dont no where to touch ..... i've humiliated myself enough lol

good night

your friend
stiff board aka brick wall

[the wench]

why dont you both try some kind of sex therapy?
im sure they would help you emotionally aswell as ideas in the bedroom cos i think emotionally is what you need more help with ie confidence etc.
find out where it stems from with help and you wont recognise yourselves!

[empty vase]

thanx babe, i'ma look into that

[Texinator]

Sounds like both of you need a big shot of confidence. I understand that the side effects of the PCOS can mess with your self esteem, but both of you need to learn how to communicate with each other, about sex, about issues, and so forth. Are you gonna laugh at him? No. Is he gonna laugh at you? No. So why the shyness? You love each other and you're married.. the other person is the one you're supposed to be able to trust more than anyone else.

Once things are better with the self consciousness, you two can experiment more and figure out what you like sexually. You can have some fun 'play time' this way.

It's possible to have lots of extra weight, lots of extra hair, stretchmarks, and so forth, and still be very sexy.. especially if you think of yourself as sexy and project yourself to others as sexy. It's your attitude that matters most.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well one thing you definately have going for you is personality and the second, maturity...

My ex-husband of 7.5hrs, made me feel, "in-secure" about bringing out my wild side, mainly because he'd go on about "disliking women", that they were all.. and off course I kept asking well why did you marry me?

But, point being, he wouldn't have known what my "spots were", nor me his, nor what worked best, worst, postions jack shirt... I've since found out a lot of things about my body that is awesome and realised that it was all him, not me, I am whom I was before I married him.

I am not sure if he was shy? He never had one night stands, was a virgin until 31 to his first wife, she ran off with a guy, (hense the hating females), and he was 36 when we met, so age wise, sure older experience wise, not much at all.

I can therefore, somewhat relate to what you are saying, as your partner isn't a leader nor will he open his mind to explore, or read up to try different things and therefore, it's kind of stalemate.

In that, you do feel in-secure because, you have no man making you feel sexy, in bed, and you doing things back that make you feel sexier, but I suspect you have it in you, if only he would let the lion come out of himself.

14-16 Is not fat. Big boobs are a pain in the neck But, if you focus on eating right and exercising more they will go a little smaller

You've got it in you.. You read up on different positions, ways to be sexy, experiement alone with undergarments, see Demi Moore's moving on strip teaze, and you work towards taking the lead.

I am sure it will work and in which case, he will let go of his in-hibitions as your are letting go of yours.

CW

[Texinator]

why did you marry me?

'Because my tormented mind needs someone else to torment'

[WildChild]

'Because my tormented mind needs someone else to torment'

Bingo - I think that's some of what I've been getting lately.

[newhere808]

why dont you both try some kind of sex therapy?
im sure they would help you emotionally aswell as ideas in the bedroom cos i think emotionally is what you need more help with ie confidence etc.
find out where it stems from with help and you wont recognise yourselves!

Could also pick up some sex books (sketches a plus) that peak your interest and flip through them. You could look through them and highlight what sounds interesting to you, and he could do the same and you guys could just spend some time exploring eachother, making eachothers fantasies come true.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

'Because my tormented mind needs someone else to torment'

lol's very true, good call, hense why I know what I am after this time and I will not settle and neither should the threader

[Guest]

have you looked at any of the adult oriented sites to see what techniques/positions you may not have tried?

i'm sure if you searched based on some of what you have mentioned (eg: sex, blindfolded) you may find a few things.