[CHANDLERS WISH]

Remember also, "experience of the two souls meeting", shyness can stop any "words" and make them hold in their reactions until they feel more comfortable to do so...

I think both sexes can be shy, not one or the other.

[Ms_Maam]

How to tell

Communication is key to having great sex.

StillLearnin, it sounds like you have already learned - you are so right!

[StillLearnin]

StillLearnin, it sounds like you have already learned - you are so right!

Oh, no. I still have a lot to learn. It took me years to learn this one. I guess I'm a slow learner. But better late than never.

[Ms_Maam]

I understand what you mean. It took many years for me to learn that one too but now that I know, I have NO problem telling a prospective partner what I want. I've always approached it by "making love to him/her the way I like to be made love to" and it works for them. Unfortunately though, I have been left unsatisfied in most of my relationships which is one reason I have opted for celibacy. I only hope that if and when I become involved that the other person is up for it because I've got a lot of things I want to share.

Also, I wanted to reinforce the fact that open communication between partners is crucial to learning how to please your mate. We can't read your mind and don't expect you to read ours so let's talk about it!

[Mitchel1870]

Orgasm is definately a good indicator but I think someone else said it. If afterwards he cuddles up and tells you he loves you or even (this is going to sound bad) falls asleep that for me usually indicates a really good sex. If the male is in the dominant postion the force of thrusting may indicate, there is some primal thing that takes over in the last minute or so. If my SO is doing something to me she says if I look like i am 'dying' than she knows it feels really good.

If I have had really good sex I actually feel very tired and warm all over, snuggle up to SO and go right to sleep.

There are not 'bad' orgasms, but there are differences. There is release and there is not being able to breathe.

[caterpillar79]

I agree with the communication part. No argument about that.

I've put up this thread not because of my DH, believe me, he is an amazing husband in and out of bed. I love him dearly.

There was a post about this topic that is why I made this thread - out of curiosity.

There seems to be a number of men who are not "vocal" about it, some who are not showy during "the action", while the woman is moaning to the max, you know what I mean?

That being said, I wonder how women who are so sensitive with cues and clues, but could not tell if they are pleasuring their partner just right, would be able to at least "gauge" if she is doing enough DURING the act itself.

I like what was said about the following concepts: looking in the eyes, making him get so aroused and then ask what he wants to be done, "meeting of the souls", etc....

Are there any more?

[caterpillar79]

Orgasm is definately a good indicator but I think someone else said it. If afterwards he cuddles up and tells you he loves you or even (this is going to sound bad) falls asleep that for me usually indicates a really good sex. If the male is in the dominant postion the force of thrusting may indicate, there is some primal thing that takes over in the last minute or so. If my SO is doing something to me she says if I look like i am 'dying' than she knows it feels really good.

If I have had really good sex I actually feel very tired and warm all over, snuggle up to SO and go right to sleep.

There are not 'bad' orgasms, but there are differences. There is release and there is not being able to breathe.

I agree. I have observed that with my DH. Thanks, Mitchel.

[Hoochie Coochie Man]

I’m a talker. I wasn’t always that way but several years ago a I was with woman who asked me to share my feeling and impressions so I gave it a try. I thought it would be distracting but it was just the opposite, it grounded me more in the present and got me in touch with all kinds of emotions going on inside. Kind of exhilarating

Now it’s a habit and I am always asking afterward if its too much or okay. I get positive feedback but I still worry. Of course sometimes she just doesn’t hear me lol

[caterpillar79]

'Coz she moans louder than you. LOL...

What non-verbal cues do you think you are showing her?

[caterpillar79]

Guys, are you consciously suppressing your moans during the act?