[Hopeless Dork]

But let me add in I am not saying I am convinced she is having an affair... and neither should you be. But I see this relationship having major problems if you don't express your feelings and if she doesn't respect them.

You have said she is a pathological liar.
She is SLEEPING over a man's house... while his wife is out of town, TWICE.
She says he's just a friend, but you say she is a pathological liar.

What you haven't answered yet is if you have told her that it bothers you, if you have asked her why she feels the need to sleep there? And if you have asked her if his wife would be okay with her doing so?

[Tzoto]

Same here......

[WildChild]

Either you can trust her or you din't. It is impossible to have a really good relationship if you can't.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think you need to take a long look in the mirror at yourself and see your self worth

Let's assume, she's not wanting a manogomous relationship but pretending she's in one for your sake only, or is it that you treat her well, buy her things? Ask yourself firstly why you think she is with you and how she treats you on a daily basis. Is it all good? Or, is it alot of effort and constant re-assurance you seek from her daily, to feel that you are in a realtionship?

In addition to being a pathalogical lyer, she's also being self distrustive, and I'm betting she knows that it's okay, because you'll just break up and get back together again, so what does she have to lose?

There's a reason why she is "needy" of other males attention, what that is I don't know but she can't be exclusive, I don't think this is the first time you've felt like this over the years.

Why not use physcology, your mind will go nuts wondering and more than likely your exactly spot on, twice, wife was away, you know what stacks up and what doesn't. So, tell her you want an open relationship from now on, you want to date others as well and you suspect she is, so is that okay with her... see her reaction, feel her out, then turn the conversation into, well you seem to like being with other people, even if your not doing anything, what attracts you to want to do that, what is it that you feel you need from doing it.. talk it out.

You may get all the answers you need to then make the decision you have to make, whilst also doing the same thing, unfortunately, lying to a degree to gather the information, ( that being the open relationship)...

You are worth more, you know your worth more, so take a long look at this.

CW

[rcoreyus]

I'm going to completely agree with wildchild.

I'll add that if you look long enough for evidence of cheating you will find it - whether it is real or not.

Her sleeping at another man's house when his wife is away is pretty suspicious to me (and I'm absolutely not a suspicious sort), but again I don't think it matters.

When you break up with someone, it truly doesn't matter who is at fault. As soon as one partner is not happy, the relationship should end. (unless there are children or other things that complicate the situation).

Either you can trust her or you din't. It is impossible to have a really good relationship if you can't.

[Betty9674]

Her new best friend at work, whom is male, and let me point out that she is 18 and he is 35...And she has spent the night there a few days in a row, while his wife has been out of town...

That should tell you she is!!!!!!

[Betty9674]

????????

If I caught my man sleeping at another womans place when when her husband was out of town what do you think!!

Throw her out and start anew.

[stressed]

There is no reason for a 35 year old married man to sleep over with an 18 year old woman other than the obvious. But I do wonder: Did she tell you she was going to do that? (I think you said you guys live together?) Did you tell her it was ok? Did you ask what his wife thinks about this? Have you told her how you feel about her 'friend'?

You don't need to look for physical signs as to whether she cheats or not, if the other wants to hide cheating she can do so both physically and mentally. There can be changes in her behaviour as nobody can equally love two people at the same time: if she has an affair she'll be more affectionate with the lover than with you, as he is something 'new' and you are around every day (I'm not saying it's good to have an affair, just saying how cheaters think).

You have to sort this out because it doesn't look very good. You're already suspicious, whether she's cheating or not, and this will drive you crazy.

[jaygirlweek96]

wow. Strange topic. i dont know if there is

[sandman24]

would ur answer have been different if a lady asked it???

Definately!! Look for the gleam in her eyes and that secretive smile on her lips!

Ok I'm being a smartaleck. What do you want to do, spread her open and conduct a 'csi' type exam? Why don't you just ask!?!
P

P3375,

Not to b rude, but ur response sounded a little "catty" to me & it made me wonder if ur answer would have been different if a female would have asked it? That guy was hurting bad enough that he let go of his pride, & revealed his insecurity to women b'c he, like myself know how helpful & understanding women normally are if they know someone is sincerely in need.

Logically, I see what u mean I think but correct me if not; ur saying that if u can't trust her u don't need her...this applies not only to him thinking he needs to use espionage to see if she's cheating, but also trusting that she will not lie of u asked her. In a perfect world where ppl don't lie, I'd agree w: u totally but unless girls don't lie like us guys I'd say he's asking the wrong questions...1) can I trust her 2) how can I tell she is lying.

my advice would b to watch for inconsistent body language, vague answers, fidgeting, etc.

sandman