[ocularone]

i have the unique blessing of being with a girlfriend who, although she is not a virgin, supports me 100% and is excited to help me however she can. Yes...she is that awesome

[Tabz]

Awww Well you seem pretty happy and she seems pretty nice and understanding.!

And you said you thought she was the one ?

Are we going to hear wedding bells anytime soon.

haha



Thanks for your wise words btw

[ocularone]

haha, well i'm sure it will be some time yet..but i do know i've never felt the same about anyone in my lifetime the way i feel about her. better yet it's a mutual feeling

[Tabz]

i've never felt the same about anyone in my lifetime the way i feel about her. better yet it's a mutual feeling

AHHH you lucky guy

That's amazing!

You're lucky not many people get to experiance that, it's either one person loving another more, and for the emotions to be mutual, that's pretty beautiful!

I wish you all the best!

[rcoreyus]

Well, I'm going to jump in on the other side. If you look around these boards you will find lots of married couples who are terribly mismatched in bed. One wants sex every day, the other once a month. One likes whips and chains, the other plain vanilla. Often one (or both) are absolutely miserable. A bad sex life can really ruin an otherwise wonderful relationship.

If you wait until you are married, you are swearing to live the rest of your life with someone without knowing if you are compatible. It might work out, but I've seen too many cases where it didn't.

[jvin]

rcoreyus,

I'm so glad you said this. I too believe that sexual compatability is something that should be established BEFORE marriage. I do believe that waiting to share yourself with that special someone is a good idea, but I can't see any good reason for waiting until after marriage. Usually this only puts pressure on the couple to get married quicker than they should. And I also entirely disagree with the posters above statement about years being together not being important. The way I knew my boyfriend at 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years, 5 years, now 6 going on 7 were entirely different. In that amount of time a person can grow and change a lot. And in time a relationship will appreciate a number of tests. Time definitely tells a lot and there is a reason why the 7 year itch is so well known by many. I suspect my bf and I will be together about 12 years before we actually tie the knot. And let me tell you... they will be 12 pleasure filled years.

Regardless, good luck with whatever you choose for yourself. I hope you find someone as special as I have.

[jvin]

Oh one other point:

For me and a lot of other girls I've spoken to... the first time tends to hurt. Not how I would want to spend my wedding night (not applicable to guys of course).

[Aqemini1977]

Living in 21st centuray, but i don't know. I'm more in the whole traditional mentality thing. I'm 18, and i'm planning on waiting untill i get married to have sex. i dont mind not having sex, and it don't really bother me if others talk about it, i mean i can't really miss, what i never had? But i was just curious about other peoples views, on my idea of sex before marriage.

Get back to me

Take caree x

Tabz,

I was in a very similar situation to yours. I was/am deeply religious so I have always been taught that sex is for marriage only (religioulsy speaking). That being said, I had my first sexual encounter as a senior in high school...it was horrible. Possible the worst feeling my penis ever felt. She was maybe 17. We did not know what the heck we were doing. She was dry and I was forcing it and she wanted me to force it. We had no idea about lube or arousal. Needless to say I was raw and chaste for about a week.

It took me another year before I would give it a go again and it was with a more experienced woman this time so things were much, much better. This leads me to my point.

I met my current wife when I was 18 (she was 17). We waited one and a half years before we had sex. We wanted to wait until marriage but we both got weak. We had sex maybe 20 times in a 4 year span. Mostly due to the fact that we didn't believe in living together before marriage and we both lived with our parents so there weren't alot of oppurtunities to have sex, plus we were still trying to be as religious as possible. We married when I was 22.

We are still married and I am 32. Our sex life is great/fantastic as far as she is concerned but to me it has been lacking since we began living together. We have sex once a month. I initiate sex twice a week. You see my dilemma. We are not at all compatilble sexually. When we do have sex it is good but I am in a mental struggle.

So waiting for marriage is great but being mismatched sexually is horrible. I guess you have to pick which is most important to you. I would argue you may be kind of young to know what you really what sexually from husband though. Just my opinion.

[Disco]

I do not supprot the idea at all.
I do not support the idea of marriage at all.

I'd never wait after a virgin guy, I wouldn't even be with a virgin guy.
I wish I had lost my virginity sooner. It has opened me up a lot and make me trust people more.
When I was a virgin I was never comfortable with a guy, even when just chatting or something innocent like that.

After losing it, or getting rid of it , I got my first boyfriend.
I have no problem sleeping with someone only a few hours after meeting them for the first time. I think sex is a great ice breaker.

[Tabz]

rcoreyus,

I'm so glad you said this. I too believe that sexual compatability is something that should be established BEFORE marriage. I do believe that waiting to share yourself with that special someone is a good idea, but I can't see any good reason for waiting until after marriage. Usually this only puts pressure on the couple to get married quicker than they should.

.

Hmmm i never thought of it that way..