[Alayah]

Hey girls,
I'm 20 years old and just tried anal for the first time. Ive never felt so dominated and violated... I didn't enjoy it but my boyfriend did, he came so fast! MAybe it was the foreplay or the oral i gave him but we didn't do much of that. I like being submissive and i love doggy style, but anal hurt more than pleased... does it get better ladies? I know he enjoys it now so i want to keep giving it to him but i dont think i can just keep taking it. I found myself trying to escape his thrusts and stop his from penetrating deeper. Eventually i stopped and gave in to the pain.. My moans were more of it hurting than of it pleasing me. afterwards i was seriously aroused but during the act my labido was dropping fast.. any advice for a younge girl ladies?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Simply put if you don't like it don't do it... You don't do something to please someone if you feel violated.

In addition, it sounds like he was non concerning, wasn't taking it slow, using lube, it doesn't sound like a loving thing rather a "taking thing"...

[Mes T]

Oh wow.

Painful anal sex can be VERY dangerous. The tissue there, if it gets torn, takes a LONG time to heal. And since there's so much bacteria up there, it can quickly get infected. And given the nature of the tissue, there's no way to surgically sew up tears, either! Ohhh hun, if anal sex is painful for you, you could end up in a LOT of danger.

The only way to have good anal sex is to use LOTS and LOTS of lubrication. And I mean, TONS. This is not the same as having vaginal sex. You really gotta take this precaution.

Your boyfriend MUST go slow. Slow, and steady, until you get completely comfortable with the sensation.

Frankly I can't help but be infuriated by this entire situation. Your boyfriend needs to know facts about anal sex, and he needs to know that his current methods are hurting you.

[Alayah]

thank you : im glad i came to this site to get advice i will take you advice and not do it and have a talk with my boyfriend...

[rcoreyus]

Some women enjoy it. It does take lots of lube, and he needs to go slowly. You shouldn't do it if you don't like it / it causes you pain, but it is possible to enjoy it.

A common (and fairly reasonable) suggestion is to get a sex toy and try anal on him. Let him see what it feels like and understand why he needs to be careful.

Wait for more people to respond here. Anal is something that some people hate, but others really enjoy .

[Joey]

I have only ever tried anal sex once, and once was enough! ha!
I didnt get on with it in the slightest. My boyfriend at the time thoroughly enjoyed it, but i thought it was the most uncomfortable and strangest sensation i have ever expereinced.

Luckily my current boyfriend has no interest in giving anal sex (thank the lord!). He totally understands my concerns about it (especially the dangers which has been said earlier) and would never be dissapointed or try and encourage me too do it.

I think some guys need to realise how dangerous anal sex can be - and the consequences that a girl can face from doing it - especially in this post's case.

[Millania]

Alayah-it took me like 5 tries to finally learn how to "take it" yes at first it can be painful but it does not have to be painful!! are you using lots of lube? did he at least lick or try a finger in there first? that area has to be warmed up to take your man
Astroglide is my favorite, make sure next time, if you try this again, to have a bowel movement hours before(to make sure you are nice and empty back there) shower so you feel great, and try again(if you want to try and please your man and also try and learn how to "take it" that way without pain)
it does NOT have to be painful
I was like you in the beginning, every thrust was painful
the only way to not feel pain is to relax throughly and try playing with your clit while he is thrusting
make sure he is thrusting SLOWLY and he doenst need to go ALL THE way in!
I hope you dont nix anal all together
it can be so fun and erotic if done correctly
we definitley only do it that way about once every 2 or 3 months because we like to have something "different" to do once in a while
keep us posted let us know if all is well
I would definitley wait about a week to do it again if you are going to try again so this way you are nice and healed in case u got little tears by accident being that it was your first time, good luck!

[Joey]

Yeah its ok saying that its 'erotic' and 'pleasureable' - but theres nothing erotic and pelasureable about some of the consequences that come with it.

I would definitly research into anal sex, so you are fully aware of what the jazz is. Im not saying this because i want to pee on your bonfire, its just from the fact that i have a friend who is so so ill from having anal sex, and she regrets not looking into the facts of it first.

Sorry to be a party pooper! (excusing the pun!)

[WildChild]

We've had a bunch of threads on this subject, if you do a search you'll get all kinds of info and advice. Personally I can do without lube - prefer with, but it's not a big deal. Some women can't handle it at all, there are some who don't want anything else. The important thing is what works for you. If your BF wants this, he needs to understand that it will be within the parameters You set, or it won't happen.

[melissy]

yes, first time is always the hardest experience. we have all gone through that!