[EarthToMe001]

I've been sleeping with my boyfriend the past couple months - and honestly he's the first person I've had sex with, so I'm still new to it. What's frustrating for both of us is that he hasn't been able to bring me to orgasm with touch, oral or penetration - I can do it myself - but I don't know what to tell him to point him in the right direction. I've been close with him a few times, but then it just kind of fizzles and dies and we can't get it back.

Aside from that, the sex is great (from my VERY limited experience haha!) and we have fun in bed. it's just sometimes i end up feeling a little frustrated afterward.

I know part of it is practice - we've been trying some different positions to see what works for us, but can any of you give some pointers? He likes when I'm on top so what are some things I can do with that?

We kind of gave up for a little bit and went for the mutual fun when we started having sex, but I'm thinking next time we get together I want to try again, and I'd like my own little arsenal of things to try.

[jns]

Maybe my comments on another thread could help. See: https://www.womens-health.com/boards/172652-post10.html

[MissMeSha810]

Honey It Takes Practice!!!

Hey sweets. Take it from me, the slightest move n the wrong direction and your 'O' will walk out of the door! I've found that the best way is to play with myself while my husband and I have sex because even though he knows what he's doing, he can't feel what I'm feeling. You can direct him to 'go a lil to the left', 'go back over to the right', or 'oh stay right there'. It will work with practice. But if he moves n the wrong direction...as I stated earlier! lol. Next time you're on top, do it yourself and you'll find it to be very stimulating and try to relax more than anything because even thinking about it to hard can make 'her' run away!!! lol

[LilahX]

Give it time and practice and yes, definitely give him encouragement/directions. THey're not mind readers and most (I'm afraid to say) really don't have much of an idea of where they're going or what they're supposed to do when they get there.

Get him to explore you slowly with either tongue or finger, very slowly until he 'hits the spot'. When he does make sure he can feel what he's found so he'll know next time. Tell him what pace you like, and not to alter it. I find too many guys chop and change their technique instead of just finding the spot and staying there wiht the same motion until the job is done.

[EarthToMe001]

thanks for your posts!

i barely know where i'm going or what i'm supposed to do when i get there, but I'm sure we'll definitely be down for practice haha!

Anyway, I've tried getting my own hands down in the mix a time or two when the position is accommodating, but despite my man being more experienced than I am, I have to admit our coordination is comical at times - so i've also been a little hesitant on that because i have long nails and don't want to claw him by accident. wouldn't appreciate that, i'm sure. manicure time!

[danceintx]

Don't worry about it!!! You just started having sex, you probably still feel a little new and uncomfortable about all of it, and that will interfere. If you are anything like I was when I was young and new at sex (let's hope your not), then you are insecure about being naked in front of someone, insecure about whether or not you're doing things right, etc, etc. Once your mind is in a good place, I think then the O will come. I never had an O until I was pregnant with my first child.

[Hopeless Dork]

Give it time, the awesome thing about a relationship is the more your together, the more you will learn each others bodies.

A good position for you to stimulate yourself is doggystyle, rest on a shoulder and put your hand to your spots and work on yourself while he takes in the view from the back. Most guys are excited to see you excited and aroused and if your pleasuring yourself and feeling good he'll probably enjoy it too.

When he is licking you or touching you, be vocal... when he's not hitting a spot, don't say 'bad wrong' don't do that (unless it hurts)... but when he hits a spot that drives you crazy don't hesitate to tell him it feels good... so that he knows to keep it on the menu... and when he has you at a real good spot don't be too shy to tell him not to stop or to keep it right there... so that he doesn't move to a new technique and take you back from the cliff.

you won't stab with with your nails if you stimulate your clitoris while hes inside of you when you are on top... even if you are VERY clumsy... that would be hard to do

And most of all relax... worrying about your orgasm can delay it... instead focus on the pleasure whether or not you come. Eventually you'll ride that famliar wave to the point of no return when you least expect it.

It would also not be a bad idea to some night, perhaps as a part of foreplay... pleasure yourself while laying next to him... let him see the way you touch yourself that way he can learn what works best for your body.

[Texasred]

Give it time and practice and yes, definitely give him encouragement/directions. THey're not mind readers and most (I'm afraid to say) really don't have much of an idea of where they're going or what they're supposed to do when they get there.

Pretty well sums men up, doesn't it?
We just won't stop and ask for directions!

Tell him what pace you like, and not to alter it. I find too many guys chop and change their technique instead of just finding the spot and staying there with the same motion until the job is done.

THIS is probably the key piece of advice, for both men AND women: having a consistent pace is very important, and not changing from one type motion to another.
- TR

[Hopeless Dork]

THIS is probably the key piece of advice, for both men AND women: having a consistent pace is very important, and not changing from one type motion to another.
- TR

Yeah that is definitly the best advice right there.. I think during the act its awesome to switch it up to find all the places that tingle but when a person is in their groove and close.... keep it consistant

[rcoreyus]

Show him what you like. Most men really enjoy watching their SOs please themselves, and it can help him learn. The reverse isn't a bad idea either - a lot of women don't have that good of an idea of what men like.