[LadyC]

Hey everybody! I am new here and I am hoping I can get some advice. I am 24 and I hate my sex life. A little bit of background: I have been married for four years, and sexually active with him for eight years. He was actually my first. To me sex isn't what is portrayed on tv or sung about it songs. My feelings are affecting our sex life and I don't know what else to do. I have tried talking to him about it, but nothing seems to change. I am in love with him, & I am also in love with the idea of having a GREAT sex life. It is frustrating because people my age are supposed to be having the time of their lives (sexually) and I am bored.

Does anyone else feel this way and have any ideas, suggestions, tips ANYTHING that can help?!

Thanks!!

[MissMeSha810]

Hey sweets. I don't know where to begin. Is it boring because of the missionary position? Is there anything that he does to make you feel good or able to bring you to orgasm? Have you taken the time out to learn your body and be able to pleasure yourself? All of these things will come into play at this point in your life. Don't get me wrong, it is not something to base the relationship off of, but these are this that may need fixing. Keep in mind that he was your first so I am assuming that you have never been with anyone else. Communication is key because you have to be able to discuss these issues and come to a conclusion and fix what is wrong. I was also bored at that age and time of my life sexually and it took me time to evaluate my situation and make sure my needs were taken care of. If you don't mind me asking, could you please specify exactly what the problem is and why being bored has come into play?

[Hopeless Dork]

A little feedback as to why its boring for you will help with the advice offered

Do you experiences orgasms during sex? If not , have you ever?

Do you experience orgasms through masturbation? If not have you ever?

Do you and your husband practice oral sex?

Is he satisfied with your sex life as a couple?

How often do you guys have sex?

And what is the experience currently like?

[BeMyBait]

To me sex isn't what is portrayed on tv or sung about it songs...

It is frustrating because people my age are supposed to be having the time of their lives (sexually) and I am bored.

Don't let the Media give you any false ideas first of all. Haha I can tell you I've spent my fair share of times scowling at the TV, but I just don't think thats what its like for everyday people. Remember what you see on TV is written - real life isnt.

Anyway - You didn't really specify on what youre bored with in particular, but as others have said communication is always key. Maybe talk to him and see if he has any things he wants to try. After 8 years together you guys should be sexually comfortable and tried most things, if you haven't nows the time!

Go to a sex store together, rent porn (or look at it on the internet), talk about major turn ons - just anything to get some suggestions on how to spice it up.

[LadyC]

Yes, I have taken time out to be able to do it myself. To be quite honest I prefer it that way, but I know that really isn't healthy. The problem I guess is that there isn't really a lot of feeling (physically) for me. And what makes it worse is that he recently told me he doesn't feel much of anything. (thanks to the blessing of a baby) Which was the last strand of hope I had left (thinking that he enjoyed it) Now it is like more of a chore than a pleasure

Hey sweets. I don't know where to begin. Is it boring because of the missionary position? Is there anything that he does to make you feel good or able to bring you to orgasm? Have you taken the time out to learn your body and be able to pleasure yourself? All of these things will come into play at this point in your life. Don't get me wrong, it is not something to base the relationship off of, but these are this that may need fixing. Keep in mind that he was your first so I am assuming that you have never been with anyone else. Communication is key because you have to be able to discuss these issues and come to a conclusion and fix what is wrong. I was also bored at that age and time of my life sexually and it took me time to evaluate my situation and make sure my needs were taken care of. If you don't mind me asking, could you please specify exactly what the problem is and why being bored has come into play?

[LadyC]

Thanks for your advice (especially on the media thing). I will keep trying and not lose hope.

Go to a sex store together, rent porn (or look at it on the internet), talk about major turn ons - just anything to get some suggestions on how to spice it up.

[WildChild]

If neither of you is feeling much it sounds like it's time for the famous super kegels. Your vaginal muscles need to stay tight and toned just like all your other muscles. Look into a kegel master or some vaginal weights. We've had a lot of discussion on this here so do a search on the Sex page. They can make a huge difference. Men can do them too.

Have ever orgasmed with foreplay or intercourse?

Oh and don't give up hope it can just get better and better as you mature - after all you should keep learning. Here's some more homework - check out this thread, get yourself bedtime reading material.

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/books-entertainment/12032-books-sex.html

[LadyC]

Thanks WildChild! I am looking into those kegel masters. They look intimidating, but it is worth a try!

If neither of you is feeling much it sounds like it's time for the famous super kegels. Your vaginal muscles need to stay tight and toned just like all your other muscles.

[WildChild]

They are really very easy to use, mine came with a DVD, I never actually looked at it, just read the instructions. It does make a difference and pretty quickly.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yes, I have taken time out to be able to do it myself. To be quite honest I prefer it that way, but I know that really isn't healthy. The problem I guess is that there isn't really a lot of feeling (physically) for me. And what makes it worse is that he recently told me he doesn't feel much of anything. (thanks to the blessing of a baby) Which was the last strand of hope I had left (thinking that he enjoyed it) Now it is like more of a chore than a pleasure

Are you saying, there isn't alot of feeling for you physically with him? Or, both, with him or the Vibrator?

You also say you have tried to talk to him but to no avail..

Could it be more to do with positions and intimacy? In-other-words, maybe he isn't adventurous, doesn't do anything spontaneous, over the sink for instance Maybe he doesn't indulge in foreplay enough, maybe you don't wear sexy lingerie, things that can spice up your sex life more.

What doesn't he listen to and have you tried, being seductive, or suggestive, outside the bedroom?

CW