[BasketCase]

My boyfriend has been trying to get me off oraly since we have been together. He has asked me what I like best and how he can make it better for me but I have never been able to get off that way so I don't know what to tell him. I want to keep trying but is it possible that some women just can't get off oraly? it's really not a big deal for me. He usually gets me off severall times during sex. And him going down on me really gets me ready for sex. So I do like it. So I don't think its a problem. But I think it hits his confidence a little. He does it a lot less now than he used to.

[molly36]

it all depends if you enjoy it, do you like it ect. im finding things out as i go.

[Guest]

happy easter !!!!!! god bless.=)

[jns]

Does he use his hands to cause you to climax? Do you masturbate to climax? When a guy's head is between your legs, he cannot observe reactions from your body as well. Also, he cannot stimulate your other erogenous areas as well. He should not be asking what you like best, because you don't know, but rather if this or that feels good. He should also be able to observe reactions, even ones you don't verbalize. Once he knows how you react and what brings you to climax, he should be able to orally experiment until he gets the same or similar reactions. And he should keep his hands busy setting the mood with your other erogenous areas. Also, he should not forget hugs, squeezes and other such things. He should sell a fantasy, not just stimulate an area.

[mintocres]

JNS what if he is not into my reactions!

JNS I would like to ask how we can help a man do the following??
"He should not be asking what you like best, because you don't know, but rather if this or that feels good. He should also be able to observe reactions, even ones you don't verbalize. Once he knows how you react and what brings you to climax, he should be able to orally experiment until he gets the same or similar reactions. And he should keep his hands busy setting the mood with your other erogenous areas. Also, he should not forget hugs, squeezes and other such things."

This applies to all areas of sex. After 30 years of marriage he still does not react to what I need, whether I tell him or not. He tries, but in the heat of passion, he forgets! I constantly tell him what I like but he may try it once and then... He is very thoughtful about me in all other aspects of our relationship. He feels very bad when I tell him, in as nice a way as I can, that things aren't going too well. He then becomes depressed. It seems like a vicious cycle.
Thank you in advance for any replies.

[jns]

mintocres: can he remember other things in the heat of his passion? Such as caresses, lubricant, use of a condom, etc. If he can, then there must be some reason he is forgetting your instructions. Maybe he wants to be the originator of ideas, either consciously or unconsciously. I've had bosses like that, when the only way to get an idea into play was to make that person think they originated it, usually by massaging their massive ego. Probably not in this case. Maybe he needs to learn to dial down his passion until he gets you at least partially satisfied. If he doesn't do that, then he will have to wait for his pleasure. Incentivize better behavior. You don't want to be mean, but you do have to be firm.

[ItsASecret]

I cannot get off orally either, I need a lot of pressure on my clit to feel anything close to the 'feel good tingles' that come before an orgasm and gentle or "hard" back and forth tongue flicks, licks or sucking does nothing for me. Feels good but not orgasm good. Its not for everyone just like anything else sex related. If it does not bother you that you do not finish from oral then you can still let him know that it feels good and you would still like him to continue giving you it.

[BasketCase]

Thanks girls, great advice.

[mrs.pink.67]

Hello girls. I have been married 19 yrs, we got a 21 and 17 yr old boys and 9 yr old daughter. Do hubby and I perform well “together” yes. Every single time? No. This art is something that takes work. And all great works of art took some time and patience. You can always try this and that but dont put so much into planning the finally that it doesn't turn out that may. Sometimes you find a place to start, where it is quiet and relaxing, no expectations, and go from there. Remind him to treat it as a flower to start with. There are lots of delicate little flowers.....lets find out whicch one you are. And Babe, You have all the control here; use it. XOXO

[Rediscovered]

I am not able to orgasm *nearly* as well with just oral stimulation as I am with some sort of penetration--and my lover knows that, so he doesn't have orgasm as a goal when he is down there, lol, just making me feel good (and it's something he enjoys, as well).

Once we stopped being "goal-driven" in our lovemaking (working toward orgasm), it became so much better, much more fun, much more relaxed. And the ensuing orgasms are even better because we both breathe and take our time and enjoy the good feelings of touching one another.