[nmbr1]

Its going on SIX Months and Im more confused than ever. I didn’t see him for a few days, (My Choice), I walk in and THE MOMENT I SIT DOWN his hand is in between my legs. As we’re having sex he’s telling me he Loves Me. He does things to me that I’m hoping one wouldn’t do to just ANY ONE, Real.. INTIMATE Stuff. Then he falls asleep between my legs. I lay there SO EXTREMELY LONELY, Waiting for him to rest some, Then try to wake him so I could Clean Up, He refuses to let me up, and, Half asleep, He begins to perform oral on me again. He falls asleep AGAIN..

He ALWAYS falls asleep on me, We NEVER really talk. NOTHING is changing other than the fact that It‘s NO LONGER 5 MONTHS OF SEX, SEX AND MORE SEX, IT‘S NOW SIX. I don’t think he loves me , I do know that he loves What’s In Between My Legs because What‘s In Between My Legs gets LOTS more attention from him than I do.. ME--> *MYYA*, An Intelligent, Funny, Caring, Sensitive Being. We spend more time having sex than talking. I don’t know what I am to him. I can’t even call myself his Girlfriend because we’ve never TALKED about what we are to each other.

How can I get him to Focus and LISTEN To Me? Would Saying ; “NO- NOT TONITE” Ruin Things? Should I force him to give me a Label (As In “GIRLFRIEND”)

OR AM I JUST A PIECE OF A-- TO HIM ANYWAYS? PLEASE HELP

[A Dying Breed]

Well forcing a label wont work. If he is just after your love taco then he would call himself the queen of england if you wanted him to.

As a guy, I can say it is a common misconception that all we're after is sex. However, based on what you said, it could be the case. TALK TO HIM. You cant wait for him to start, since guys arent mindreaders, and if he does like you alot he may think you just dont talk.

Here are a few rules:

1) Saying I love you during sex does not apply. Even if it's the most tender, intimate moment, no matter what a guy's feelings are for you, he'll probably say it to make things less awkward. The only true "I love you's" should never be counted before or during sex. Even afterwards it may just be his penis talking.


If you feel all the two of you do is have sex, TELL HIM. It may bee that sex is one of the only ways he's sure he can please you (or at least thinks he does).

You aren't going to get anywhere in a relationship waiting for the other person to leave your mind. Talk to him and make the decision afterward.

Im not going to accuse him of anything, but usually if you love somebody and they tell you they are uncomfortable during sex, you try to comfort them. You dont continue to lie there. However he might actually be shagging so hard he's exhausting himself. It isnt uncommon for people to be very tired after orgasms.


So tell him how you feel, and if all he responds with is "but i do love you" after you have shared your feelings, hes probably a faker.


He might really love you, but in the words of Fleetwood Mac;

"Thunder only happens when it's raining,
and players only love you when they're playing".

Good luck

[baja]

His behavior shows two things: 1) he's not considerate or doesn't respect you or both, and 2) you both are in a pattern that is tough to break. The only way to break free is to tell him how you feel and what you think of what the relationship has become, implement a 30 or 60 day no-sex period so that you both can better get to know each other and I would consider making things more challenging for him (i.e. have him earn your affection).

You're already unhappy, so if he means that much to you consider trying the above. If he's truly interested in you, he'll try and you'll see where things go from there. If he's not, then he'll bolt. And of course, if you're not that interested in taking it any further, there are always plenty more fish in the sea...

[happy ending]

ok heres my opinion, guys arent into labels, women seem to need a description of a relationship, and if a guy likes you a lot, he wants to have sex with you a lot! 6 months seems to be a while for him to hang around if its just a sex thing. so why dont you ask him what you are to him, either playfully as in Amy asked if you were my boyfriend and it got me thinking - are you my boyfriend? or seriously as in, we need to talk about where this relationship is going. maybe he's bigger on action than words!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I love the replies you've got so far, they are well, quite well thought out, detailed and appropriate...

We are of our own destiny... By allowing it to go on for this long, has created no answers.

I am suspecting your feeling used...

I remember almost having a relationship once, with a man, lawyer, so I thought smart until we were in bed and he told me that he wished secretly that he was a gynocologist.

He couldn't help but touch me there, he wanted to hold it, whilst he slept? WT?

I found that strange, weird and well...

So point being, he may be simular, loves the feeling of intimacy, loves your body, your reactions to him sexually, and gets off on that reaction.

Don't allow someone to put their needs first, and not think of you at all.. Seems to me, to be honest that, as you've not been outspoken, he's continued down his line, his journey and until you speak, it won't change.

As, for which way it will change? Like life, one way or the other, but either way is better than the way in which you are in at present and feeling at present..

It sounds to me that you didn't see him for a few days, to make him miss you.

That, because he uses the L word, your too scared to say anything incase it's true ,and you stuff it up.

But, you haven't said, we go out, he takes me to dinner, I've met his family, we have fun with mutual friends.. You've said, sex/sex/sex/sex/sex/

So I think in the back of your mind you know the answer.

And, you know what? You can have that "intimacy" with someone who gives you the above as well. Don't sell yourself short, ever.

CW

[nmbr1]

A DYING BREED--- I TOTALLY AGREE about Rule 1. NOTHING Said In The Heat Of The Moment Is TRUE.. That is why I doubt that He Meant It when he said he Loved me. About talking to him, I Don’t Know How, I mean, I hear that one of the LAST things a Man wants to hear is.. “We NEED To Talk”. That when they hear those 4 words, Their hearing shuts off. I KNOW that is SOOO SILLY, But I Never Been With In A Relationship with a Man before. HONESTLY, I think that I am SO OBSESSED With Being A ‘GOOD WOMAN’ To Him that I’m getting my information all mixed up somehow, There are SO Many DO’s And DON’TS in HOW 2 KEEP A MAN HAPPY. I’ve come to the conclusion that I AM doing something right, I AM Being the WOMAN that HE WANTS ME TO BE, Therefore He Is Happy, But, Its Not Making ME Happy.. Thank U For Your Help, It Is SO Gratefully Appreciated.

BAJA---- That REALLY Is A Great Idea. I Would Love To See How He’d React To That Proposal.

HAPPY ENDING----- I WAS Okay with Not Having A Label, It was Less Pressure for me. BUT after a while you can’t really help but to WONDER. I Tell Myself That Too, That He MUST LIKE ME, But then I question whether he really even Knows Me. Asking PLAYFULLY is an AWESOME IDEA. THANK YOU.

CW------ I AM FEELING QUITE USED.. Not seeing him WAS for that reason Exactly, And Yes I don’t want to mess things up. We DON’T Go Out, We DON’T Go To Dinner, I HAVE met his family, And He HAS put on a movie once or twice but basically Left Me Watching It ALONE as He Slept.. What Does That Mean CW??? Kind of falls in the middle doesn’t it?

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR WONDERFUL ADVICE

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Firstly, actually, "be yourself"... People do get obsessed, with trying to please, be that perfect person, but the reason for that is to keep the other person, it's a hopeless, vicious circle, because in doing so, your not happy, as you forever ponder

In addition, the man you want in your life, is one that loves you for you, everything about you... Seems, your trying to please...

Forget the rules, they are bogus... You compromise in things, to assist in pleasing as does the other partner, it's not one way okay... And, if you want to find out how he is thinking?

You don't go out,
You don't go for dinner
You've met the family
He's put a movie on twice and left you
He has sex with you every time he comes over

Your basing the "middle" on the fact that you've met his family...

I bet he goes out with his friends yes? But, never takes you....

Instead of wondering, or knowing your gut instinct, change the rules

There's a movie you want to see with him, and it starts at 8pm, and so " I want to see it with you and let's have dinner first", see the answer.

There's a game you want to watch and your going with a group of people, (get them together) and then tell him, come on, we're all going to see ...... on Saturday, pick me up at ....pm.

See his reaction.

1. You've fallen into this trap, as you've let time go by and as such it's now making you question.

2. You have to see if he would do those things with you, and if not, you have your answer..

CW