[east98606]

OK my wife is a smaller gal. Like a size 8. I enjoy looking at magazines that feature full figured women. She says fat. I say BBW, voluptuous, full figured. She feels like I just like large breasts but I've told her that I am attracted to her figure, and that I just enjoy looking at the total package of a full figured woman. A big tummy, big hips, thighs and butt. I guess that with todays focus on fitness and health that she would just say WHATEVER to my attraction to large gals.
Any input?

[StillLearnin]

Wow, you have actually told your wife that you are attracted to other women? And she's OK with that? I guess as long as you are just looking she'll say there's nothing wrong with that. Have you ever suggested for her to do something to change her look to allow you to carry out that fantasy with her? Just curious how you went about that and how it went over with her.

[stressed]

Excuse me, but what you did was:

- Say, more or less, that you prefer looking (and probably masturbating, since you mention porn) at women larger than her, something she will never be or wants to be.

- You expect her to say "It's alright, baby, I don't mind that women who look nothing like me turn you on, I am a confident girl".

- "I guess that with todays focus on fitness and health that she would just say WHATEVER to my attraction to large gals." I find this offensive towards her. You expect her to say she agrees with your taste in women and understands that you can be attracted to whatever, just because fit women are all over the place.

How would you feel if she told you she masturbated to men who look nothing like you, who you find unattractive, who can never be like you. Wouldn't you feel offended as a man and partner to her even in the slightest way?

[Hopeless Dork]

I agree with stressed. Its not that she is anti-big woman porn... she's likely hurt at your focused interest in a body type that is nothing like her own.

I'm a big busted chick... if my man focused on porn that was all 'small breasted' 'flat breasted' 'ittbittyteedy club' type sites where not him inadvertantly finding small breasted women... but porn that focused on it. It would make me feel insecure about my body. That I wasn't his ideal.

In the past my boyfriend looked at a variety of girls but mostly in the hot, young, tan perfect airbrushed body category... but breasts and body size and hair color, ethnicity were all varied there was nothing that stood out to me as a preference, thankfully... or it would have hurt even worse than it already did.

A lot of us compare ourselves to your choice in porn... because with the plethora of it to choose from -- what you look at tends to be your fantasy, at least thats how we see it. We can't see in your head, we don't know what you say is true when you say we are the most beautiful girl to you or when you say you didn't find the hot waitress attractive... your choice in porn (ugh) gives us a glimpse into what you would *want* to see to be aroused if you could pick anything in the world.

You coninuoulsy picking women that are the opposite of her ... would sting, the most confident of women would start to wonder if they ever have the ability to truly be the apple of your eye.

No different than if you were uncircumsized and your gf said she loved your penis but specificially sought out porn featuring cut guys. Would you not begin to doubt whether or not your penis is truly something that does it for her?

[stressed]

No different than if you were uncircumsized and your gf said she loved your penis but specificially sought out porn featuring cut guys. Would you not begin to doubt whether or not your penis is truly something that does it for her?

Spot on.

[A Dying Breed]

Excuse me, but what you did was:

- Say, more or less, that you prefer looking (and probably masturbating, since you mention porn) at women larger than her, something she will never be or wants to be.

- You expect her to say "It's alright, baby, I don't mind that women who look nothing like me turn you on, I am a confident girl".

- "I guess that with todays focus on fitness and health that she would just say WHATEVER to my attraction to large gals." I find this offensive towards her. You expect her to say she agrees with your taste in women and understands that you can be attracted to whatever, just because fit women are all over the place.

How would you feel if she told you she masturbated to men who look nothing like you, who you find unattractive, who can never be like you. Wouldn't you feel offended as a man and partner to her even in the slightest way?

I gotta agree with stressed. I mean fetishes are ok to have, but I don't think she can feel the same about sex anymore, because now she knows you women that look different than her sexier than her. (edit)

I mean I know relationships are more than sex, but I would never marry a girl I wasnt attracted to, and I wouldnt try to make her change who she is or feels she is because I love her. I mean a certain celebrity might be one thing, but a body type or stereotype is different.

The human brain works, or is supposed to work that when you find a certain person attractive, the brain intensifies those neuron pathways and makes you find them even more attractive. It's surprising that you must have at least been attracted to her at some point, since you're married, and that somehow you have strayed completely away from that. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was the result of something non-sexual, such as an emotional detachment between the two of you. But I don't know about your marriage, so I can't make that judgement

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Okay, this thread is obviously going to touch some nerves, so, remember our golden rule, no judging, opinions are fine

but I've told her that I am attracted to her figure, and that I just enjoy looking at the total package of a full figured woman

Firstly? My take on the above. That's great that you have advised her stated, that you are attracted to her figure... But, to then state that you enjoy looking at the total package of a full figured woman, contradicts that. By that I mean, in her mind she is going to see, that you were just "pacifying her, with your original comment" and she may feel, low, down, un-loved and too thin... Can you see that?

It sounds that you have an open minded relationship, that you can both talk together, but I do agree, telling your wife that you prefer large, is kind of cutting if you think about it, at least, as far as she would be feeling, remember, women are emotional creatures, in fact some men are too.

I think it's natural that she will "pick" one thing the breasts, as a woman at size 8 would not have large breast predominately... so here, what she is really saying to you, is that in her mind, you want bigger breasts, hers aren't good enough.. and that has derived from your comment of advising her you prefer to look at larger ladies body parts, via magazines...

It now leaves her feeling self conscious. About herself.. In your eyes, In her husband's eyes.

I can see that the reason for this thread, was to argue the point. "No, it is all, a woman's butt, her breasts, all..."

But, even so... If you continue to push this with her, then she will have a complex as well about her butt.

Some fantasies are better left un-said don't you think?

Imagine if she said, " I prefer a man who has a much larger penis than yours so I look at magazines, to see the different ones, cause they are not like yours and I need to see what I actually like, seeing as you don't have it"...

Ouch, that would hurt wouldn't it

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No different than if you were uncircumsized and your gf said she loved your penis but specificially sought out porn featuring cut guys. Would you not begin to doubt whether or not your penis is truly something that does it for her?

Imagine if she said, " I prefer a man who has a much larger penis than yours so I look at magazines, to see the different ones, cause they are not like yours and I need to see what I actually like, seeing as you don't have it"...

Seems our minds were thinking the same thing there HD, as we posted at the same time

[stressed]

Have you ever suggested for her to do something to change her look to allow you to carry out that fantasy with her? Just curious how you went about that and how it went over with her.

This would work if it was a fantasy. The problem in this case is that he mentioned larger looking women. To ask her to gain weight to fulfill his fantasy about larger women would be inhuman towards her.

I suppose he met her as thin, he married her as thin, and she's had the impression all along that he's attracted to thin women. To suddenly 'reveal' his attraction to women who look different to what she does must have shocked and hurt her. This is not about a fantasy, it's about physical preference.