[sungem77]

my boyfriend and i have sex almost everyday.i am completely turned on by him and he is always able to bring me to orgasm. the weird thing is that even though the physical sensations are there, i always need to fantasize in addition to whatever else we are doing in order to come. my fantasies are all over the place. sometimes he's a part of them, sometimes not. i have a very vivid imagination and i'm just wondering if anyone else needs to do this in order to come, and if not, what do you do?

[Ryanl35]

From a man's point of view I see no problem with it at all. My wife and I encourage fantasies sometimes thinking of each other sometimes not. If I were you just don't mention to your bf that you need to all the time. Maybe try to vocalize them to him during sex, you'd be surprised by his reaction. If you guys have sexually open and intimate relationship vocalizing fantasies can be fun, at least in my experience.

[Yvee]

When I first came to this site, a had a problem with pleasure during sex. Now that problem is still there...

I'm not really sure what you mean by "fantasizing"? I was thinking, maybe I can try it too...

[jns]

Fantasizing during sex is a great way to enhance the pleasure. Be careful what you tell about your fantasies, though, because sometime your partner may not be able to handle who or what you fantasize about. Go slow on explanations until you are sure. You may have to keep them private if your partner can't handle them, unless you like misunderstandings and controversy. It may be best not to fantasize about something that will cause controversy.

[grrrr]

It's kind of like masturbating.... the partner may not want to know, but hey, if it gets you off.... go for it.

I agree with ins - be careful what you say...

[StillLearnin]

I think more people fantasize than will ever admit it.

"it may be best not to fantasize about something that will cause controversy."

Having fantasies are natural. It's the communication of those fantasies that could cause controversy.

[stressed]

I don't think it's healthy for the relationship to fantasize during sex every time. This tells me there's a communication issue going on or something missing in sex.
Some times, maybe, it's not my thing, but not every time.

[rcoreyus]

Have you tried shared fantasies / role playing?

[Hopeless Dork]

Most of the times when being pleasured by my boyfriend either from sex or alternative... stuffs :P I am focusing on nothing but the pleasure, sometimes the sounds, watching him.. and thats all I need.

Sometimes I close my eyes and think about a very specific act we do together that turns me on.. but its like intermittant flashes in my head.

I think its good to try to shake things up as much as possible and not train yourself to only orgasm to very specific fantasies or stimulations as that will just limit your pleasure. Best focus on whats happening sometimes, fantasize other times if its fun for you.

Even though your partner can't see inside your head, I'd try to be respectful as I'd want them to be during sex. Fantasies involving other people should be saved for masturbation (if you must fantasize about other people) as it really isn't all that cool to think of joe bob while bill is doing all the work.

[stressed]

Fantasies involving other people should be saved for masturbation (if you must fantasize about other people) as it really isn't all that cool to think of joe bob while bill is doing all the work.

I'd even go as far as to say that fantasies involving other people should not be fantasies at all, period. Why fantasize about the postman, the milkman, or both of them together at the same time, if I'm happy with what I've got...